I got caught up on grading tonight (yes I know there is something deeply wrong with me). A student I know has been using AI all semester in my online class had the balls to (poorly) read a ChatGPT-written script for his video assignment as his beer bong dangled prominently on a hook behind him.

Too many nice folks saying/doing too many nice things is a lucky problem to have but also 😭😭😭😭😭

My writing group co-director sent the folder where we usually add our notes with our writing goals each week (and then announce success/failure the next week for accountability) to my house. Except instead of writing goals, it had notes from the faculty in the group. 😭 and a giant Christmas cactus

We filled two big collage frames for the graveside service tomorrow. 💛

Emotional state already tenuous and haven’t even made it to town yet. Somebody sedate me

@scribblymoth.bsky.social @barleywhiner.bsky.social glad y’all had a good morning 😂

I have to drive to my hometown to talk to my childhood pastor so he can prepare tomorrow’s eulogy and I’d rather do pretty much anything else

I blacked out and grief purchased some fun Christmas decorations.

It’s just so weird. It’s all so weird.

Welp, my aunt sent this photo of me, my dad, and my grandparents from when they visited me working the state fair, and it turns out that can cut through the martinis. They’re all gone but me.

I have decided to follow Stephen Wilson Jr’s advice and feel the feelings until I finally need them to stay inside and anyway I get to cry during the day and drink every night through my dad’s funeral if I want, right?

I never updated you with the final copy (spoiler: it’s the same with one sentence added because I am both the baby and the boss bitch of the family and get to do what I want. This is why I am a scourge) www.heckartfuneralhomesedalia.com/obituaries/s...

I can’t even read obituary comments without crying and we have to somehow manage a funeral? (We’re only doing a graveside service but there is a eulogy and a song and other people near me)

Mom’s decided on Kenny Roger’s “Through the Years” for the graveside service song. She was going to do a church song because it’s “expected” but I told her to fuck expectations, and she said well….”I’d really like that Kenny Rogers song.” Good taste!

Operation Keep Mascara on face was a valiant effort, but the battle was lost 28 minutes in.

We have a first draft. We will let it sit for a night, consult with mom and aunt, and then finalize. I'll share it with you because everyone else in this house is asleep.

Have I had enough tequila to write an obituary? Let's find out! (I'm sorry this account is a death account now. We'll move back to books and inane observations soon)

Wrong link. 🙃 youtu.be/oDXqSbZB_J0?...

It’s a double-edged sword to have a wonderful circle who sends the kindest notes but then 😭😭. Also, this song assaulted me when I got into the car to come home today. The algorithm with the emotional violence! Grief Is Only Love share.google/bhimM0fVyw1A...

Actual question soliciting answers: The skin under my eyes is very angry. Is Aquafor the move?

Can one of you please contact all the people I know IRL so I don’t have to? Tell them also to miss me with the heaven talk.

Hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I just got the dumbest peer review feedback on a book chapter that is already accepted to the edition. I needed something external to put all my anger toward. The universe provides!

I’m gonna tell dad I’ll send him my bill for the nice dinners I’ve had while he’s in the ICU

Today’s installment of Tours of Central West End features a margarita.

If you tell me it's okay and healthy to feel/express emotions, I will block you. We are in tenuous mental health status here.

Dad's bone marrow cancer dr's team just came by. They said his dr, whom he loves, knows the situation and her heart was hurting, which caused my first full on tears in public. No thank you to human emotions IN PUBLIC please. How embarrassing to live in this goddamn human body.

Grading papers from my ICU room command center is surreal.

This will fix nothing but it will provide a calm 20 minutes.

It's incredible the pain and suffering the human body can withstand. Terrifying, really.

I made it to his icu room and holy shit this does really fucking suck

It turns out that when people tell me they’re sorry for the current dad dying situation, I burst into tears. But my friend who told me “it really fucking sucks” is my favorite. Because there’s a natural response. Yeah, it does fucking suck. No tears!

No one prepares you for the process of your dad dying.

My week: www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8DKR7DA/

hail!

I really like my colleagues, but they currently have our office heat set on 71 degrees, and this is NOT A GOOD START to my week.

This is fun and such a low stakes way to practice. We’ll get better!

Look at these triangle babies! They smell awesome. I think they needed a bit more dough in each cup to really cloverleaf.

I cleaned the carpets, and a bathroom, and did laundry and made dinner: Individual meatloaves with caramelized onions, fresh green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, and homemade clover-leaf rolls. 💁🏼‍♀️

I’m testing out making cloverleaf rolls like my grandma used to make, but I only have a jumbo muffin tin so they’re gonna be JUMBO cloverleaf rolls. Pics coming soon.

I watched this video, cried (it’s been a rough week), and then applied to sponsor a second family via our local charity that does holiday sponsorships. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8D7KK8T/

Christmas cards are ordered. I’m so proactive when I’m procrastinating on cleaning the carpets.

What a photograph. “Nearly two dozen arrested as faith leaders protested outside a federal immigration facility near Chicago…” Arrested large amounts of peaceful clergy face first on pavement is a pretty good sign you’re not the good guys in the story. www.reuters.com/legal/govern...

Ahem THIS ⬇️

This recipe is so solid and easy. Super satisfying! Enjoy this complimentary ATK recipe—no login required—for the next 30 days. www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/1678...

Dogs are fine. Partner is fine. Who is going to tell dad they want him to go to inpatient rehab when he gets out of the hospital? Not it!

I have dealt with so many healthcare situations this week for my parents, my dogs, others who live in my household. Getting older just means you’re constantly dealing with appointments.

They took him to clean his ears, and I just heard the vet tech exclaim “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO CUTE.” And another said, “I know, I just like to look at him.”

This small black dog is truly my kindred soul. I made a vet appt because I felt a little protrusion on his tum, and sure enough, he has a tiny hernia. In our (amazing) vet’s words, I have a “good eye.” We’re gonna monitor for size change and leave it be for awhile.

I ain’t been right felt right or done right since Daylight Savings, lord.