when can i actually draw something REALLY SEXY?? i'm terrified to do anything crazy

i feel embarrassed when will it go away😭

it's okay to draw a compromising situation where your favorite is being restrained in some way (it's a little old but i fixed it)

i feel so stupid that i can't get over the mental block to enjoy or create fictional perverted things to their fullest extent...

i can't ever remember who's okay with most ○○○ topics or not, so i hesitantly move around. forgive me...!

i can't draw ○○○ if my morale is low and it shows

i think i'm just unable to comprehend people who are so vocally negative about things they claim to like. it does not come across as though you're enjoying it very much... but i guess people like that don't care about how it appears

i think there are some people who would benefit so much and have their mood improved so much as well if they just. moved on to something else already instead of sticking around and complaining all the time and doing absolutely nothing to contribute to the things they want to see made in the world

seems like i'm always left to feel like i have to protect myself and my feelings by enjoying stuff all by myself because i don't want to hurt or be hurt by others or make them feel forced to be around me or interact with me or do stuff with me or for me if they don't really want to. who would anyway

won't somebody just save me or put me out of my misery already

when you stop having anything to look forward to, that's how the demons get you

i feel like i can't even complain or even open my mouth. i just wanna explode. i hate being depressed so bad and circumstances around me provide me no relief to my pains. all i can do is hope for "the next thing" and right now i don't have much hope in that either.

if nobody else participates like they said they would i'm KOing myself.

the 3P yuai and 3P aiyu need to get out of my head and onto a canvas some day

i need to draw something crazy soon. i've been thinking about the aiyu where there's tentacles involved, but it seems like i'm not the only one

i don't know what the freak origin point is for enjoying the kind of thing where one is filled up with fluids or like, every opening is used/filled with toys etc. but it's super intriguing

save me eroguro, save me

i was so depressed for so much of this month that i couldn't think about hole very much. that's when you know it's bad

IT'S JUST FICTION IT'S FINE TO BE INTRIGUED BY THESE TOPICS ← screaming it to myself

all of the landmines suddenly fell out

i'm scared to use those words somehow so i'll delete it

don't make yourself sick about it. on a Tuesday

having been made to learn about ○○○ at 14 by an 18 yo has messed up my psyche i'm afraid why didn't i realize the red flags about our relationship? i felt special because i was so lonely it makes me feel very wrong to think back on it i couldn't talk about it with anyone and it's still difficult

sick of my inability to draw quickly or without perfectionism getting in the way

fantasy is so much better than reality that it's almost scary how much i rely on it daily just to not feel down but who cares. being in my own head by myself is scary too, though. i want to share what is inside but i also don't want to risk it. scary, scary

i want Ysk and Aichn to hold each other tenderly

please consider 3P Ysk→Aichan←PM 3P Aichan→Ysk←Copychan thank you.

i have to consider yu♀️ai♀️ and ai♂️yu♂️ and ai♀️yu♂️ as only a fraction behind that...

yu♂️ai♂️ ai♀️yu♀️ yu♂️ai♀️ ai♂️yu♀️ 💯

artist i really like made a quadrant of their preferences for gender swap yuai+aiyu and i really agree with it way too much... we really need more yuri aiyu+yuai in the world either way

chewing the skin off my fingers due to stress. no more soon please

i can't be myself. it's too scary. and nobody else wants that either

i'll continue to be a hypocrite, selfish, awful, and unneeded. my parents don't want me and gave up on me, people i meet say i'm not too much and slowly come to regret it and leave me too. over and over. over and over. there is something wrong with me that can't be fixed

it sucks to be told how i should be myself, but then i learn that myself is inherently not okay or worth keeping in anyone's life. i'll just continue to disappoint everyone until there's nothing left. that's how it's always been, hasn't it?

i don't like when people who think it's wrong to do whatever you want in a fictional setting compare my experiences to drawings or writing as if it's the same thing as reality. it isn't the same weight at all.

if i had never experienced that misfortune as a 14-15 year old, i wonder if i would feel the same as i do anyway, that fiction is a great way to cope with turbulent emotions and experiences

i'm certain that, besides feeling that i have become increasingly tired of stifling myself vocally and creatively for way too long, that there are some underlying issues that come out. from the ab*se. and the gr**ming. not healthy to keep it all locked up forever by myself, to not vent it somehow(?)

it's cathartic to do whatever you want

i love when yuai has custom hole and aiyu has custom strap ← forever pushing this

i hope any of Aichn's modifications are also something diamond-like. and the same light, like the blueish green or yellow LED light color, emits from them... wait....... pink light for hole or attachment 😁 more glow in the dark features

should i just start posting the fully ero works? i feel so embarrassed despite everything

i want to draw more ○○○ between The Characters. the month event has ero prompts too, so maybe i should consider it,

maybe i shouldn't be editing/viewing my ○○○ illust in my car on my lunch break

aiyu, who are getting heated up, or something

even though this doodle is over 2 years old, i still like the concept of ♀️Aichn not covering up the S●Ltis lines all the time when Ysk and her are alone together

yuaiyu yuri collection ♀️♀️

i should reupload the older ones i had elsewhere

who cares, we can think about The Characters getting messy together and feel better

chat am i cooked and washed up

yaoi on company time.......... soon