Me at the NWSL:

HOLY SHIT WE SIGNED A DEFENDER? A GOOD ONE? In the year of our lord 2025?!?! Hell yeah bros

CHICAGO MOTHERFUCKING BEARS!!!! I’d like to think they did it for @sandraherrera.bsky.social’s wedding as a lil treat

Okay this is so much cooler in person. And it was already pretty f’ing cool in photos. @katherinelin.bsky.social is a gem for scooping this up in London

This. I like this.

Did I get drunk and go to the Wrigleyville Kindlemart and walk away with a Sherpa cardigan and a weird Cubs gnome? I’ll never tellllllllll

This one hurts because Ella is an OG and a real one. Can’t wait to see where she lands because she deserves her shot. Selfishly I hope she balls out somewhere and then comes back home to Chicago to ball out as the official HC.

NEW SOCCER BAR NEW SOCCER BAR NEW SOCCER BAR NEW SOCCER BAR NEW—

Laura come get your brother.

Had to use a reciprocating saw to cut up my old credit card AMA *American Airlines what the fuck are you using in your cards? Goddamn

Last call: if you want a Christmas card from ya girl and I don’t already have your address, DM or text it to me and I’ll add ya to the list.

Damn McLaren really biffed this one

Losing power/having a power surge right at the beginning of the Macy’s Day Parade stream seems super fucking rude universe

Big shout to my coworker Steve who just called me and was like not work related just checking in on you, are you okay 🥹 We love an office dad, even if he does call his spaghetti sauce gravy 😂

Oh hai @meredithbartley.bsky.social @spiritsquadron.bsky.social got a good shout on the broadcast around 40-42’ ❤️

There’s a guy in our office who eats raw celery at 7am every single day. And not all men, but definitely this fucking guy. Pick a quieter snack before I send you to The Hague for your office war crimes.

When you’re working from your parents’ house and your dad has an assortment of things on his desk, you get these jokes.

selling some gear to help pay for San Jose! most things pictured are still available, make an offer 🫶🏼 Kingsbury glove is game(warmup) worn at the first uswnt game at Audi field in 2021!

Me and my bestie ❤️ (Yes, I was her personal TV and pillow for 2 hours)

Ede what are we watching? Ede: Go Bears with papa!

This is the funniest fucking thing and I love you guys.

After the week I’ve had, we deserve this.

Hi, don’t usually share family stuff on socials, but thoughts & prayers to whatever deity you believe in would be appreciated for the Amato fam Dad and aunt were in a car crash this morning. Tony’s got a broken clavicle & 5 broken ribs. Aunt’s got a brain bleed, so it’s been a fucking day.

Okay, so like one good thing happened today.

9/11 I’d like to report a murder ☠️☠️☠️

I got subway for lunch. Hell yeah bros

Nah, bring back bullying 😂 Also sit your benchwarming ass down Lizzy, you washed jabbroni.

Honestly this write up is a whole mood @chicagostars.com 😂😂😂

This was very cool to see this AM @lesleyryder.bsky.social ❤️

Dick Cheney died? Good. Fuck that guy. But now we’re trending in the right direction of people dying.

SomeBUNNY is ready to trick or treat

When you coworkers really be saying fuck them kids 😂 Ede absolutely will be paying the EE tax today.

Used ChatGPT and still lost a 3-0 lead to Chicago lmfaooooooo

I know I bitch about my job, but I love my team because what do you mean that we’re arguing in Teams about the best gummy bears (and shapes) and zero work is getting done? Also: Worms, Aquatic shaped, bears are the order of preference for gummy shapes

Have we tried turning 2025 off then on again? Because what do you mean escaped disease infected monkeys are just running amok?!

I’m so sick of these transphobic and racist shitheels. To quote PunkWithACamera: trans people existing does nothing negative to your life you crybaby bitch

Becky knows what’s up. Listen to the captain!!

Spent my last day in Norway at the tattoo parlor. First piece of the travel sleeve complete. Can’t wait for more adventures and more ink.

Timeline cleanse for everyone who needs it. Also, Norway? 10/10 amazing

⚫️🐑 The Black Sheep Kit is a reflection of our place within the greater WoSo community and our continued desire to make it a more inclusive space for all. 50% of sales will be donated to BWPC and their efforts to expand the game to black girls across the country. icarusfc.com/collections/...

Kits that go hard

Hello from the northern most professional soccer team in the world! No, we did not sit in the SG section 😂 Yes, we did leave at half because it was cold as fuck. 10/10 experience

Damn, didn’t realize the Chicago Stars were out on holiday too?!?! Not the news I wanted to wake up to, but at least a Bea goal!

Now who the fuck is playing Lizzie McGuire’s This is What Dreams Are Made of in this Copenhagen Lounge 😂😂😂

Reporter: “Do you support ICE?” Mitch McConnell:

Out of office until October 28th. See ya soon Norway 🇳🇴 #YesIAmAChild #LoungeLife

When you friend so hard, you get adopted 😂😂😂 The fact that Kathy is in multiple chats with my family makes me laugh and brings me joy

When the other analyst on your team gives his notice one day before you’re leaving for your much needed vacation 🫠🫠🫠 I hate everyone

This is a reminder to all my friends with mobile children: maybe (definitely) lock up your sex toys? Sincerely, The woman who just saw her neighbor’s 5 year old using someone’s wand as a microphone in the front yard 😂😅