Complimenting a hitter: He’s cool as a cucumber, got a high motor, makes the hard plays look simple, a player’s player Complimenting a pitcher: They named a new type of rabies after him. You’re not supposed to look him in the eyes. He strikes fear into his own mother

I look like I don’t play about Cat Power now

Im the hottest I’ve ever looked

Why didn’t Harry put Professor Quirrell in a gogoplata? Is he fucking stupid?

I have reached a massive milestone in my journey to become the worlds youngest millennial

They made a girl who’s best trait is her charisma and also gave her crippling social anxiety

Reading the Wikipedia page for selective mutism and going “That’s meeeeeeeee!!!”

It is good to remember that whenever the us wins it's not just because they have unlimited money and power, it also helps that every referee says "no it's ok when *they* have 7 guys on the ice" or whatever other rule they want to bend or break

I should’ve played rally broken social scene 😭

FUCK

I need this. The Vancouver hipster shithead that lives within me needs this

QUEUE THE RALLY WOLF PARADE

Now is your time Macklin. Kill the USA and be reincarnated as a lotus flower

When Macklin Celebrini recreates the golden goal for a new generation and is crowned as the new greatest player in the league >>>>>>>>

Kill America Macklin Celebrini. Fix the timeline. Only you can save us

Wish I could be a fly on the wall for the decision to include this dude’s cup of coffee NJPW run and not the 6 years he spent in TNA as one of their most entertaining workers lmao

Can’t tell you how sad it makes me that Max Schumann is no longer with the A’s. 20th round pick who grinded his way to the bigs, that’s the quintessential A’s player. The fact he played ball like I did in high school, and how he celebrated Oakland at the last coliseum game made him close to my heart

Oh good they both dressed like faggots good to know

Being raised evangelical meant I pretty much never interacted with Catholics when I was younger, so I was genuinely stunned when I came to campus and encountered so many people with schmutz on their head for lent. I thought that was as common as carrying a rosary everywhere

Hard to figure out who’s the most trans member of Manic Street Preachers. Richey Edwards wrote about how puberty was a curse and quoted Valerie Solanas, but Nicky Wire dressed like this. Tough to say!

New high score

Nobody ever said nascar drivers were overburdened with intelligence

Getting escorted out of the Tolarian Academy-Strixhaven Mage Tower game for bringing a sign that says “Hey Kenriths, where’s your parents?”

He treats people like rats for the crime of not owning a house

Lizzie update: Still wasting the prime of my life in Fayetteville Arkansas

One of my classes this semester is about optimizing worker behavior and I’m watching film like I’m Jon Gruden “I look at this guy, I see he’s workin, there’s just one problem. He’s doin everything with his right hand, and nothin with his left! Thats wasted time I gotta pay for!”

1 sp3@k f0r 3v3r/b0d/ wh3n 1 s@/ w3 @r3 br1ng1ng 1337 sp3@k b@ck

Ben Gibbard is always saying some shit like “The cashmere of your sweater caught on the belt loop of my jeans, what I would give for an ethereal touch between the seams”

Y’know maybe I do sound like Patrick Bateman sometimes

Dude I just wanna listen to Broken Social Scene all day. Their self titled is so good. I love how much more shoegazy and dreamlike it is while still maintaining the kinetic energy and sound collage feel of You Forgot It In People. This is the best music ever

Transgender by birth; Cascadian by the grace of god

Magic has its hooks in me again. I dreamt I whiffed on my third land drop to cast a board wipe in a win-and-in match to qualify for the pro tour. What a game

(This is a magic the gathering tweet) I must be a furry with troubling kinks the way I keep getting fucked by cubs

It’s a testament to OG Ravnica that 80% of the rares in the block are the most ceaseless dogshit you’ve ever seen and the set is still beloved

In a room full of cis people I’m the weird one in a room full of trans people I’m the normal one I fucking love being me dude genuinely it rules

I mean, it’s Kiké. Could it be anybody but Kiké?

I need to get rich so I can blow all my money jamming drafts on mtgo

Got in trouble for cursing in class award

People fucking love sucking off the south, it makes me wanna scream. You people have shit for brains and would kill yourself if you lived here for a day. Living here makes me want to kill myself

It’s legitimately so fucked up JD Vance got to blog about the Garden State soundtrack and I didn’t

professional wrestling is such an absurd hobby to have in the abstract. like yeah man, I watch people fake fight and judge them on how convincing I think their fake fighting was. yes, it's also subject to "back in my day" conversations, and some of them so weird you can't even imagine

Is Chili Sauce by The Time supposed to be a parody of Prince???

<right wing Nazi infiltrator> - “hello fellow organizers, how do you do, where are the Sorosbucks?” <Resistance Wine Mom> - “So I met this lovely young person who plays this intriguing computer game, I believe it was called ‘Eve Online,’ and they told me about something called ‘operational security

Hairway To Steven is a good album if you’re that committed to the Butthole Surfers play piouhgd

In many ways I am just like Sid • From Arkansas • Very Intense • Love to blow off my responsibilities to play softball

Guy who’s seen 10 wrestling matches: My favorite wrestler is Psycho Sid Guy who’s seen 1000 wrestling matches: My favorite wrestler is Kiyoshi Tamura Guy who’s seen 10000 wrestling matches: My favorite wrestler is Psycho Sid

Girl who adds two minors to her degree plan in the spring semester of her junior year

Started writing about baseball again