I’ll write a big check to the next (first) Democrat to use this Kimmel story to call for some trust busting

Prayers up for my mom, who thought she was booking a quiet week on 30A only to learn Cobb County schools are on fall break

Can we please, for the love of all things holy, spend more than 20 minutes working on baton exchanges?

Regular reminder that one of Ben Shapiro’s fans was so indoctrinated by his vitriolic Islamophobia, he went and shot up a mosque. Despite inspiring a mass shooting, Ben has done absolutely nothing in the ensuing 7 years to tone down the rhetoric.

Gutfeld is acting like a chapped-ass bitch here because he knows that the general public is kinda horrified at a lot of the Charlie Kirk quotes that have been making the rounds

If someone had said, in the aftermath of George Floyd, "I'm glad he's dead," they'd be serving in a Cabinet post by now.

People have also got to stop framing statements about minorities being morally and genetically inferior to white people as a “policy disagreement.”

Minnesota in the all-whites is a good look

How ’bout ‘em

I’m gonna have to sweat the Bees again this year, huh?

Willie Nelson is a real one, y’all

I'm not particularly optimistic this gets sorted by next week

service journalism is alive (unlike several of these horses)

Speaking of reasonable suspicion, I feel like I can draw a lot of conclusions about a ruddy cheeked guy slurring his words at 9:25a.m.

Stetson Bennett with a better marketing department (complimentary)

Forget pumpkin spice, the true harbinger of Fall is the Falcons choking away a winnable game

Even the brain worm wants him to stop being around

Country Feedback

Intellectual giant of the tech bro right is just as fuckin dumb as you’d expect

Shocked to find a British person upset at the concept of things having flavor

He’s not wrong. We’re in this position because Republican politicians—like Mike Johnson—are power-obsessed sociopaths whose hearts and brains are so broken that they can’t even be moved by the horrible reality of dead children and shattered families.

I’ll give the max donation to whatever politician signs up just to ask Matt why he doesn’t wash his fuckin’ hands after using the bathroom

I was unaware that we’d made Jared’s crook-ass dad the ambassador to France

Holy shit, way to go Tommy

As someone who judges a coffee place based on their cortado, I feel very very seen right now

I've been going to downtown Atlanta for 35+ years and have never once felt unsafe. Then again, I'm not a dipshit that needed MeeMaw to teach me to stop wetting my pants

I once witnessed this man get so drunk he wet himself and his fellow Sessions staffers had to carry him out of the bar and put him in an Uber.

How are us Conservative men supposed to pay attention to the football game when there’s these attractive fellas shimmying to Lizzo?

Let's assume this obviously bullshit number is true. It still wouldn't demonstrate that a Medicaid recipient is "lazy." 8 hours of sleep (lol) + 8 hours of work + 1 hour "lunch break" + 6.1 hours of "leisure time" = 23.1 hours.

Luckily, she's standing right next to a guy that is *the* expert on touching 14-17 year olds

Kinda crazy that Republicans are engaging in a wholesale cover-up to prevent folks from finding out about all these Democrats

*Stefon voice* “This party had everything: dweebs, dorks, weirdos, that kid who wore a three-piece suit to every class you had in college…”

Wouldn’t be a true Auburn man if he didn’t curl into a ball at the slightest bit of adversity

Times are tough for dudes who got “massages” on Jeff Epstein’s island

Trotting out one of America’s most famous sex offenders is a GREAT way to get folks to stop asking if you were best friends with the world’s most notorious child sex trafficker.

There is no way this dementia-addled putz could name the current Heisman Trophy winner

I understand not wanting to cause victims pain, harassment, or abuse; but isn't there a moral imperative to prosecute the johns? Especially given the likelihood these dudes moved on to a new trafficker after Epstein got shut down and are, very likely, still sexually abusing young women!

So can folks publicly retract all the “credit” they gave police for their response?

The experience of having cases with some of these appointees is a total pain in the ass. They have no clue how to run a courtroom; no clue what litigators actually do on a day-in, day-out basis; and (most of them) have zero interest in educating themselves on the law or the facts of the case.

Lukewarm (like their fries) take: In-n-Out will be a great business school case study on brands that become less popular as more people gain access to it.

I feel like learning your dog likely has cancer entitles you to crack a Friday beer before 5.

If anyone would know the age of consent laws of various Caribbean islands, it’s the dude that used to practice law in St. Thomas

Ah yes, the true arbiter of Jewishness. Truly there are none more Jewish than Harris Faulkner.

Laughing at the unintended consequence of kids having to publicly announce their parents are delicate bigots before they trudge out of class.

Are the Fox News hits part of his work release agreement with DOJ or is he doing this out of the cravenness of his own heart?

By the looks of that desk, it would appear that the Fox News production team hates Will Cain as much as everyone at ESPN did

I’m glad that Rep. Cammack was able to access the abortion care that was medically necessary to save her life. I’m sad that going through this experience did not provide her with a scintilla of empathy for women who don’t have the same resources.

Still remember being 12 years old and pacing my living room for Brad Cresse, Wally Pontiff and the boys in 2000. Now I’m doing the same with a newborn strapped to me. Geaux Tigers!

This guy should not be admitted to the Florida Bar—or any other state bar for that matter—if you truly believe the Constitution is only for white men, then you can’t faithfully swear to uphold the Constitution and the rule of law

JD’s vibes are so horrible that his dad noped right out of his life the second he met him