Oooo, I got some new spicy underwear and I look niccce :)

The Reverend Mother takes her dentures out of her mouth. The Gum Jobber.

Pov: you’re the new hire and they sent you to the “senior” lead for onboarding

Managers need to stop saying things like “excellent work” and “good forward thinking” and start saying things like “what a good boy” and “your such a clever puppy”

Licking my wounds 😞

Too many decisions I just wanna be puppy, no thoughts no choices just good boy 🥺

Pizza is best served with friends and lovers 😌❤️🔥

Biked to the grocery store and got all sweaty and now Im kinda stinky :3

Uhhhh, I think i may have accidentally ordered the wettest burrito of all time 😖

Oh god oh fuck, water is randomly out in my building .. they didn’t even give us enough warning to gather our piss buckets 😞

Check out my new baby! Still thinking of a name, so far top contenders are The Plant formerly known as Prince or maybe in memory of our fallen soldier Ill call her the Lavender Menace

She’s making fun of me for oiling up my hard boiled eggs 😭

“Rub each ball with a little olive oil”

Took damage this weekend getting unruly with the boys :(

Supposed to give an hour long presentation but like on what tho boss 😭

Oooouuggg, work has me stressed 😖

Holu fukkca am druiujmmk ❤️

Overcaffeinated chittering 🦝

Standing, lights off, in the kitchen demolishing the Kirkland signature 32 pack of hard boiled eggs at 1am

👁️👄👁️

I got a choccy milk :)

Hat

Nooooooo what have they done to the Lavender Menace!!!

Crippling deadlines stress has me SWEATING, upside is Im muskier than ever

Friend gave me a copy of a gay lil local newspaper! It’s so comfy and joyful! It has comics and crossword and local events!

No no nooooo, but .. it .. it worked on my machine

Ohh once again waiting 5000 years for bus

Why am I like this?

Good lord I’ve accidentally become nocturnal

Water ids fir cowards mhnmmm

Guyyyssss i think i had one to many whisky yy thunggs :)

Finally some practical transportation for the city

Happy green day oomfs, get ur beer and potatoes while they hot

Yall can put me in the box 🙂‍↕️

Fun song YouTube showed me today youtube.com/shorts/Im-5x...

Tanking the psychic damage of stuffing the leftover spaghetti into a gallon bag

Long unbroken intimate eye contact while demolishing a New York System fresh hot fully loaded wiener in the parking lot at 2am

Oooohg melting dragon my beloved

My omelet turned into scamble eggs 😔

I went to the grocery store, I was a good boy, please praise thank

Autocorrect wont help me spell mastrobater :(

Song that goes uwuwuuw

Send me art with crosshatching 🥺

Learning crosshatching and its so much harder than you’d think to get those sweet sweet overlapping parallel lines just right

I like putting hotdogs and peas in the mac n cheese 🙂‍↕️

Its time for a little bit of weed and Im cracking open the raspberry cookies n cream icecream stash