This is how it was raining all the way to and from Baton Rouge yesterday. Very water water everywhere. I was white knuckling that steering wheel. Whew. I’ll make that drive every fucking time in any weather if it means getting my nails done properly.

It’s a snow day can yall take a break from lecturing white folks about shit they’ve turned a blind eye to for centuries?

Of course I want to go outside for $5 breakfast and my umbrella is in my trunk.

As a person who ain’t never really been anywhere, it has been so awesome for me to experience New Orleans, BUT. When I tell y’all I moved from East Elmhurst TO East Elmhurst. Like this is the same type of neighborhood I grew up in with a WAY better bodega.

I really pulled that axle bar 55 times yesterday. At 185#. Then drove 140 miles round trip. Then went to a parade. Sitting here with the nerve to wonder why my back is hurting. Like…

Rubbing my feet together under the covers and staring at my nails. I want pho.

Bruh. McCarthy might be the first Steelers coach to get fired. 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly this. Also, posting about privacy from a Meta account is a study in hypocrisy. 😂😂😂

An actual factual Russian manicure. Worth the drive.

I’m so happy right now. So. Fucking. Happy.

My driving observation. These people aren’t used to other drivers being aggressive back. 😂😂😂 Baby that’s how I learned. You will total your shit fucking with me. Be safe #doe.

I hate that I cut my nails off instead of getting a second fake, but I would have hated having two fake nails more.

Today is going to be incredible. Strongman. Coffee. Nails done properly. I feel like a damn kid waiting for Christmas. 😂😂😂

Good morning people in my phone. Happy Saturday.

I have a nail appointment today with someone who actually does a Russian manicure and I am far too excited.

Napoleon, Pedro and Uncle Rico are coming to the Saenger. EYE WILL BE SAT. VOTE FOR PEDRO!

Transphobia is a cancer of the heart and mind. It is a useless fear, based on ignorance and cruelty. Trans people are not responsible for a single one of the problems we face. Do the world a favor and grow the fuck up.

Guys. I had a male Instacart driver. All my food was right. The earth is healing.

It’s going from 71°-33° on Sunday. What in the early spring? I’m annoyed that happens here too, but for fucking once I know ball.

Do we think Joe is going to end up moving here?

Randomly imagining the government going through all the cooking and ROMWOD videos I save only to find out I rarely cook and rarely stretch. 🫠🫠🫠

Always put on pants

We just went on a cruise in November. 🥰🥰🥰

I do. She’s my godmother.

This guy just played Runnin’ and I’m having a hard time thinking of any beat he made that I like better.

If you’re reading this: what’s your favorite Dilla track?

Pants on. Burger on the way.

Re: the Met Opera G*d don’t like ugly. You reap what you sow. Insert any other snarky platitude here.

WELP

I took a full can of yellow cap to my oven/stove today and now I don’t want to cook on it because pristine. I’m too lazy to put on pants and go outside for dinner. So I’m watching cooking videos. FAIL FAIL FAIL

Have I put on pants yet? No. Is my stomach growling? Yes. 🫠🫠🫠

Final answer.

You should never ever count out Martins but these videos. He doesn’t look good enough anymore. Father Time is undefeated.

Wayment where is the hat? Put the hat and the pants on. That was a FIT.

Do I want to go get a jerk burger or am I bored?

The NFL said they racist but they ain’t 47 racist and I am AMUSED. This feels like a call back to when they wouldn’t let him grift his way into owning a team. They been calling him broke to his face since the 80s. 🤣🤣🤣

Wait. Y’all saying they thought we wanted to integrate to be close? To THEM? EEEEEEEMAGINE

Remembering I cut all my nails off and only like one color. Ain’t no valentines art for me.

I don’t even feel bad posting my thoughts because in my mind he knows I don’t mean him. 🤣🤣🤣

Literally all of it. Unproblematic as fuck.

Another thing about living here. Folks don’t use “fuck” like the black internet cooks parsley. Me: WTA…😬

Might have to wait.

I refuse and rebuke it all.

She’s a lawyer. She didn’t know any white folks willing to go in that church? Man. Couldn’t be me.

And I get why that lady felt like it was a good idea to go to the church to call that man out, but she in jail now because our job is to rest. Good luck to her.

You lot should absolutely be ashamed. Wear that shit like a cheap polyester suit.

But then down here they give you plastic bags like it’s the 90s and my ass showing up with my own bags because I’ve been conditioned to.

I’m guessing the job scammers purchased the latest data breach info. Like sis I have two masters degrees. If you gonna run a job scam the lure ain’t gonna be a warehouse job paying $18/hr.

This thing where people you don’t know have access to your contact info and feel so confident reaching out to you needs to stop. If I didn’t give my contact info personally you will not like the response you get.

The people who bought my house are assholes and nearly fucked the closing and I hate everyone. Therapist: have you signed up for any dating sites?