If I worked for a grocery store company, it would be my mission to create a store brand Impossible Meat and call it Implausible Meat

! You know what...tug of war is really war of tug

There *has* to be some sassy restaurant in Washington, DC with a "nothingburger" on the menu

A possible corollary to the "everyone is 12 now" theory is the "everything is the 1200s now" theory

Pick-me girl dystopian (or Utopian?) novel: I Who Have *Only* Known Men 📚🪐

TFW you get convicted for murder and globally mocked for saying a dingo ate your baby, when in fact a dingo did eat your baby all along

The European anti-air conditioning discourse is one of the few areas where I'm like no, you're just being Europeanly weird and wrong

If they just started putting jumbo size bags of croutons in the chip aisle, they would sell so fast.

I must sing the praises of this lovely, fun, and very well-designed thing neal.fun/wiki-spy/

A really cool #STS look at one big important slice of exercise science aeon.co/essays/what-...

Canadians go to Montesorry school

Hmmmm...

This is such a classic crime. Feels almost quaint these days. www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pBW...

I think the palate/palette/pallet homophone group has the highest rate of people choosing the wrong one when they write one of them, of any. I think those three words are all misspelled more often than they are spelled correctly (except possibly pallet?).

Why yes I WILL cope and seethe. I actually really enjoy both coping and seething, thank you very much.

If you have a #sourdough starter, MAKE THIS NOW. That is a command. Incredible texture and texture variation, wonderful pretzely flavor. countryroadssourdough.com/cheesy-sourd...

Creative writing via coming up w conspiracy theories: what if the universe is a simulation, and the sharp sudden rise in gambling is because the simulation's operators need to generate a bunch more random numbers?

Wouldn't it be cute for an eczema or psoriasis cream to have as its mascot a pumpkin-head guy (à la the headless horseman) who's always scratching himself, named ItchyBod?

My goal for this week is to invent an entirely new bean-based dish

What if there was a fanfiction about Humpty Dumpty's adulterous wife called Madame Ovary?

The cowards at Fancy Feast had the opportunity to make cat food out of guinea pig and didn't

This spring is really something. I went outside and found myself in the throat of a world shouting Green.

Thanks JD

A story about a telepath who is also neurodivergent would be very interesting.

The language @repbonamici.bsky.social @merkley.senate.gov @wyden.senate.gov are using is jarringly tepid. Don't just 'call on' Republicans and score points. Force the issue! Introduce impeachment every day! Treat it like the emergency it actually is; you're the only ones who can stop this madness!!

Whenever I make pizza, it makes me feel like spending all my time making and eating pizza. That would be a satisfying life, right?

Last night I had a dream that was evidently a #MobyDick prequel where Captain Ahab was young and hot :/

If the term didn't already exist, "Vaporware" would be a cool name for a tech company

Going to open a bike shop to get redpill guys interested in #biking and call it American Cycle Path

i'm so grateful for spreadsheets

Cats hate closed doors because they are creatures of the portal, of the making-a-way, the burrow and the gap, of dimension-hopping, of rheology, of "I fits, I sits." Closed doors are spiritually repulsive, unheimlich.

Surely there has got to be a barber shop somewhere called Hairy Styles

It's absolutely wild that people get to be professional body language analysts. Somatic astrology.

Can someone less lazy than me make a King in Yellow/Devil Wears Prada meme about yellow instead of cerulean? 📚🪐

#Cleaning tip: don't put on your glasses when you're in the house

I just finished *The Devil in Silver* by LaValle and i wonder if its relatively low rating is because of how inaccurately it's marketed? I would not call it horror AT ALL or "grippingly suspenseful" but I would call it my favorite of the three books I've read by him! #booksky

It's that time people! www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1lj... #couldbeacrackhead

Beyond being a meme, matcha Dubai chocolate Labubu is basically an evil Easter bunny, right?

Petsmart bro, I already buy things from you. You don't have to send me brainwashing emails as well.

Hi @katestarbird.bsky.social! I was wondering if you guys ever look at this growing form of OSINT-as-entertainment, stuff like this: www.youtube.com/shorts/9E9Wx... as well as rainbolt, the "height guessing guy," + probably others, which I feel like is a cultural response to the misinfo environment?

1. Roast chopped eggplant, red onion. 2. Fry sliced garlic, grated ginger, pepper flakes in EVOO. 3. Add canned tomatoes. Simmer + add zaatar, black pepper, salt. 4. Add onions/eggplant, mash, simmer a bit. 5. Stir in creamy (not dry/salty) feta cheese. 6. Stir in cooked orzo. 7. Yum. #cookingsky

Planning a horror-themed cookout and calling it Final Grill

Girl you know they're going to come up with protein sprinkles pretty soon

Major financial trends are so frustrating because they seem to be both very subtle and abstruse, and very stupid like a cat jumping at a laser.

Heartbreaking: I just made the most amazingly delicious stirfry sauce, but it came together out of the most random bits and bobs of stuff I normally never buy, so it will be practically impossible to replicate in the future :( #cookingsky

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyF... #properlyfollowproperprotocols

Well, I finally finished Blood Meridian, and while it was of course extremely impressive literature wise, I feel like it's the first book I'm not actually glad to have finished. It felt more like a spiritual injury than a book. IDK, does that make me too much of a normie? #booksky

Truth Social? Oh, you mean Constructivist Epistemology?

Wait a second. It really IS the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment. #infinitejest

Software really IS eating the world, but its mouth is made of hardware