me: I gotta leave soon I’m going to the office Bette: ok but we gotta play string for at least five minutes first

Hey just wanted to speak to any RECRUITERS! If that’s you and you’ve ever interviewed someone, found a better candidate, and then ghosted the first person: you’re a piece of shit. You’re bad at your job. Find a technique to let people know, otherwise, you’re a piece of shit. Thanks for stopping by!

Hey just wanted to speak to any RECRUITERS! If that’s you and you’ve ever interviewed someone, found a better candidate, and then ghosted the first person: you’re a piece of shit. You’re bad at your job. Find a technique to let people know, otherwise, you’re a piece of shit. Thanks for stopping by!

About to click on this story about a guy with a second dick

What I hate about Halloween parties these days is that every Vincent Vega turns out to be just another John Wick

Look, I understand that you ‘came to get down’ (I mean, you said it twice) I just don’t see why the onus should be on me to get out my seat and ‘jump around’ 🤷🏾‍♂️

I actually don't want a Time Machine. What I really want is an Another Time Machine. What that does is every time I say I'll do something 'another time', it happens in the machine, without my knowledge, in another dimension

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here rejecting all nonessential cookies

Happy Yazmin Lacey day to those who celebrate https://album.link/i/1828247311

#breaking The president has pardoned the batdance guy

Stop saying ‘it goes something like this’. Mthrfkr that’s EXACTLY how it goes

Ads a weird. Here’s one that says we’re so proud of local cheese in Quebec, you’ll shed a tear made of…cheese 🤷🏾‍♂️

Got it. She died of a ‘report’

Caught this dude sneakin around 👀

*bob marley voice* Buffalo Sabres

I’ve been chuckling at this for close to an hour. Just me? 🤷🏾‍♂️

She just figured out where my new office is 😼

🤔

Good morning to those who can’t wait

Finally watching kpop demon hunters and I get it now: it’s like spiderman for girls

https://music.apple.com/ca/album/artscience/1440834038 🙌🏾

It’s #Caturday so you gotta stick with it

I got that DAWG in (front of) me

Fulle statement:

#breaking I have been appointed Duke of York 🗡️

On a Google Meet at work, and on Slack, I notice that in profile photos, every man had more hair, and every woman had more makeup 🤔

A woman just said to my son ‘oh, matching shoes!’ and I thought it was a super weird thing to say. Who doesn’t wear matching shoes? As she walked away I noticed she was wearing the same adidas as him 👟

So two thirty minute job interviews and then…nothing

Someone on here asked if I had any hobbies or things I collect

Man, I just wish my dad lived long enough to hear white guys telling each other to go back to Africa