Goodies 😊

HEY WAKE UP ITS GAY OUTSIDE 🌈🌈🌈

Pussy locally grown, tariff free, fairly priced, and they still don’t want it.

I like a protest, but if you have a permit that’s a parade, and if you don’t have a Molotov what’s the point?

You can make pasteurized milk into raw milk again if you leave it out overnight.

Went viral on the other app and the block button has had a work out

Ok Thelma and Louise

The gobment: *actively bombing children* hey don’t burn cars

Had to bribe her with snacks to get to the park

If Casey Anthony has a million haters, Nancy Grace is one of them. If Casey has one hater, it’s Nancy. If Casey has no haters, Nancy is dead

Happy day to women, hope you get ya coochie ate

La sad girl

Im not a bad leftist I’m just stupid

Lord knows I’m weak to some loser ass white boy

Lmfaoooooo

I’m hilarious on the apps

Wonder what it would feel like to get hit by a watermelon. Right to the face

People be writing whole dissertations tryna explain my own joke.

Calling my pussy the ‘Grip Reaper’

It’s chinga la migra Friday

No rizz just brown eyes and curly hair

K!ll me

This place is too uptight for my low brow gutter comedy

*getting my coochie waxed* Line my shit up bitch

Gave her a bath and now I’m sore

Heavy is the head of the boy who has too much fun at the park yesterday

The next pope is gonna be so fashy

That pigeon lady from home alone 2 had it all figured out tbh. I should go live with the birds

Wearing shoes with a heel helps my PF so I be sweeping and mopping in wedges like a goddamn Stepford wife

Cooking on Teflon is bad. Bitch, my balls are full of microplastics what do you want from me?!

Thinking out loud: were dudes on feeld always this ugly

We need a show called politicians fall down

Rewatching to see how they escaped before RFK jr puts me in a fat camp

If his dating profile says he’s ’mentally stable’ run

My moms orthorexia that has turned to the dogs now doesn’t want me to give my dog the pills her VETERINARIAN prescribed for her allergies. Mom says I’m gonna kill my dog.

We were at the vet cuz she has a mild allergy induced ear infection. Her meds got her zooted

The American infrastructure has been falling apart AND we have a terrible president. They’re just happening at the same time

You can take my meds, but you can never take my .22

The Hawaiians did nothing wrong John Cook had it coming

You could just be going on about your day and suddenly a cyber truck passes by and ruins your day

Jumping back into the apps

This place won’t show me blocked people. The other place shows me some bitch I quote tweeted and got her clout then she blocked me. Bitch I made you

Moms orthorexia has turned to the dogs. She’s saying dog kibble causes cancer in dogs

Love when the mail is cola swag @cola.baby

Sent a happy v day nude. No response.

💜💜

Happ valemtimes

34 year streak of no valentine strong 💪🏼

‘Chicago pizza isn’t real pizza’ neither is a ‘pizza bagel’ but ima eat it

RFK jr. Pls bring back fen-phen.