we're still on the sandwich thing?

don't know if that's a fight i should get invested in. last time i got into anything about food ava was talking about how she cuts her sandwich and i thought someone's head was coming off. not 'cuz of her, mind you. that said...

/ there's only one way out with regard to pizza posting and it's just eating whatever's put in front of me. if i order for myself i just pick toppings randomly

how many monsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? three. one to screw it in, 'n two to one but he might not wanna turn on the lights...

new megafucker with cheese just dropped at the royale steakhouse. i'm getting soooo fucked tonight.

TEMP PINNED. WRITTEN BY ELI :) #undertalerp / #deltarunerp

kissing someone for proof of anything is gay, man, even if it's kissing a woman as a guy

/ oh yeah hey I have a shitton of futuresoul characters the world has yet to see. um. one like and you can see them. if you have already seen them because snowy showed you you can see them anyway :)

... alright the emo guy with the summon didn't help. i guess i'm just fucked on that front. fair enough.

/ really struggling not to laugh at "or a mothhusband, i don't judge" at work

so is it just the one mothman or do they have, like, mothwomen and mothchildren? or moththeys. feels kinda chauvinistic...

/ uhhhh. murder. assault. torture. kidnapping. selling weapons to felons and/or without conducting background checks and also doing so without a license to carry. fraud. hostile takeover of a city? is that even a real crime

right. okay. let's see. waffle batter... caramels — second layer of batter so i don't fuck up this waffle iron forever... liquid smoke... [ she slams the iron closed - some runoff spills out almost instantly, which true to the bit she winds up swiping up and eating. ] ... this is gonna suck ass.

in times like this we gotta turn to the last bastion of positivity we have. ... homer simpson's patented space age outta-this-world moon waffles. [ "times like this" must just mean breakfast. ]

/ oh i gotta fix this later "why am i always looking at the stars?" links directly to the next line. same speaker. Dumb Ass

temp pin.

oh, yeah, right. the only last resolution is to let myself look more... normal to humans more. mostly so i can aurafarm throwing icicles around and shit, but. i ain't really had much a reason to before, since i'm around a lotta people who already can tell...

already fucked up my resolution. 2027's gonna be my year...

shouting this at mauve's until the dilf manager drags me out by my hair

( ...that's scary. i dunno. )

/ i am only responding directly to my gf please understand. that said it has been wonderful getting to be part of this section of rp and youve made wonderful writing partners, and more importantly friends. its a pleasure to know you all and i hope that we can continue being oomfs hereafter. ty all.

// she was born four months ago in a test tube. shes like this

... reminds me, as a kid, i was chasin' a laser pointer dot and i straight up tackled someone so hard they busted an arm because it was on their chest. good times. total stranger, too.

temp pinned. penned by richie

... just watched darby fall to his knees over a beautiful woman. classic.

/ she's funny as fuck i fear

... does she know the "breaking in and stealing food" part is usually the part only one guy does and not how it's celebrated normally.

wish she could- take... no, that's not quite right, is it. mn...

you hostin' a meal this holiday? make sure to microwave your utensils so you can have 'em toasty for your guests.

I think it's good that he died.

( oh, i've seen how this ends. i'll get the tissues. ) ( ...and a clean shirt. )

oh, shit, all the kids are comin' outta the woodwork for christmas break. ... maybe i should redownload fortnite. christmas noob stompin' is the last thing capitalism can still do for me.

Fuck you all and fuck me as well. Merry Christmas. Check your bathroom now.

(quietly, to herself) and zendaya is miki...

/ the swarm

MESSAGE TO ALL BITCHES: Please survive!

oh, shit, the mixology stuff came in. just in time, too...

mistletoe is nothing to me. i eat that shit straight up. if you're ever in an awkward situation shout for me like a boss summon.

yo i thought i was about to be a fucking analog horror statistic What the fuck was that.

new tech for when i get hit on by a total weirdo. two shirts over my normal clothes. rip the fuck outta the outermost so the buttons turn into a weapon. i get, like, two clips. that's enough for basically anything.

These tits jiggle so hard that they bring men down to their knees

in this economy you're lucky to even be quirk regular.

being born in 2026 is maybe the worst thing you can do besides being born after that. this shit is scary. i learned my dad was laughing at fucking "somebody touch my spaghet" before wiping out an entire platoon of demons on his own.

not to be that bitch but i'm super fucking humbug about this time of year. i'm getting something for everyone, like, duh, but i can't STAND all this festive junk. the music is fucking agonizing. too many virtue signalers about peppermint, too, holy shit.

plug a little quirk chungus but they're chill.

- Service was awful, food was great. Many items were not available. The service was so bad it was actually entertaining. - Hey Todd, go kill yourself.

i've got a bet goin' with moka about how long it'll take for ava to actually be nice to rachel. she keeps double-or-nothing-ing me and i think i should be up, like, three thousand bucks now.