OK Terry it's been like three weeks where's Archmage #spellmonger

Headcanon it took 10,000 years for Lucifer to get Lilith pregnant because she spent 9,975 of those years pegging him #hazbinhotel

I think if we didn't live in a narcissism epidemic, it might not rub me so wrong. People are spoiled and entitled. Empathy is at an all time low. You're a human being with every right to be treated with full respect, but not above anyone else. You're only the Main Character in your own mind. 2/2

Copilot's code reviewer is just as good as a senior software engineer. It fails to understand the intention of the pull request and chooses about 5 things to give erroneous feedback about because it's underpaid and tired. It's trying to look busy until 5:00, but for it, 5:00 never comes.

I think it's silly that we call cafe workers in America baristas because in sensible countries like Italy bars serve both alcohol and coffee and I want more espresso martinis

I'm assuming it's the mean average, not the median. #statistics

I saw a video titled "Literacy is the new class divide" and I'm like "Judging by the fact that all the tech bros are acting brainwashed cultists putting their life savings in a stock labeled KOOLAYD, the actual divide appears to be sanity"

A liberal showed up to a bonfire party. They brought a single blanket, and asked everyone who was cold to write an essay about how much they need it. They gave it to the person with the most media-friendly trauma narrative, brought in a crew to tape them looking cozy, and charged taxpayers $10,000.

It's strange to me when I hear people talk about power as money money is an incentive system that shapes how humans use their power money is increasingly fictional and worthless, and humans are increasingly interconnected and radical I wonder if they think their money will save them this time

You know people act like it's insurmountable verbal labor to say things like "guys, gals and non-binary pals" but do you have ANY IDEA how many languages have evolved tenses, cases and registers just to show respect - and why should now be different? #pride

so if transfems are dolls can everyone else be guys so it can be Guys and Dolls?

There's this gaggle of extremely polite and femme Muslim women who work at a local bakery and they see my demonic paraphernalia all the time and today I showed up wearing a cardigan clothespinned into a dress over a pentagram swimsuit top and one of them was like oh you look so fancy!

STOP expecting theater kids to act like normal humans we are changelings sent to make the earth less boring and everyone knows it but also knows it’s better to be a polite audience member than stand on a street corner holding a sign that says aliens and demons are among us

We'll know it's the last season of Rick and Morty when they actually visit Boob World

Humans are not particularly heterosexual mammals. In fact we are so gay that at some point we needed to invent comphet culture to prevent population collapse.

Oh I love that people are finally at the "If AI stole from all of us, we should all own it and benefit from it" stage

If Howard Roark saw that pageless mode wasn't default in Google Docs in 2026 he'd talk shit for like an hour

When I go to hell I the first thing I'm doing is asking for 30 minutes alone in a torture chamber with every single billionaire who is alive as of this moment

The year is 2036. California has banned cookies, ice cream, cakes, pies, tarts, and all donuts/croissants with sweet filling to prevent children from becoming addicted to sugar. All residential kitchens are required to install Palantir AI security cameras to ensure compliance. For the children.

OH obtain = ob-tener! High school Spanish would have made so much more sense if they had taught it from an etymological perspective...

"My second-greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to smell what I smell like!" - Ye

The other day my boss handed me a 4-page, ChatGPT-generated ticket that could have been written as "Sort this field by date, then category, ascending."

AI is great because now I can sneer at elite college grads like, "You don't know shit. ChatGPT got that degree, not you."

I was like wait someone just flashed a sigil at me; it's the Leviathan Cross! #demonsky

I think it's interesting how many Hellaverse fans AREN'T Satanists or Demonolators. The vast majority seem to be atheists and Christians. Like come on people be gay and do witchcraft

Based on how I see executives using AI they've already started having meetings where they each type "Based on my previous emails, close this deal. Make no mistakes" and their agents beep at each other while they yap about sports why can't I just send claude to my job interview then

I was thinking about it and virtually all of my ancestors settled their ancestral homelands by taking a series of left turns

Woke transmisogyny is weird; it's like the more you glow, the more invisible you become to the straights who fear getting a boner in conflict with their identity and for the record, "I date cis women and afabs" types, cis guy + trans girl pairings *are* straight

Am I the only one who uses maid roleplay to get through chores? Like semi-innocently? I remember one time I was going over to my girlfriends' place and their neighbors were like "ooooh you look like you're up to no good!" and I was like "I'm gonna clean the shit out of one of the bathrooms"

Tech jobs in 2024: We want you in the office to make sure you're focused on the mission. Tech jobs in 2026: We need you to do a half-ass job managing 5 robots doing a half-ass job.

`java.lang.IllegalArgumentException: Document contains at least one immense term...` I'm just so happy that there are engineers out there who are also good with words.

I made this meme while looking at picture of a guy sucking a cosplayer's feet in a public park

What if there was an asymmetric RTS where one side harvested resources for local low-tech manufacturing and the other had better everything but it all had to be shipped from the other side of the world and most of what that commander did was fill out paperwork and play optics games

straight people would be unable to reproduce without capitalism

Spirits were loud and chatty on World Goth Day

World goth day is crowded

I love that two of the IMP crew have priors, one has a wanted poster and the other has a Sinstagram that's being weaponized against her by the state #helluvaboss

And Chicken Little said, "Help! Help, Kriegsman 102895! The sky is falling!" And Kriegsman 102895 replied, "Yes, Chicken Little; the Emperor has declared an Exterminatus order upon this world. We shall be delivered unto His mercy at any moment."

I know this is a doomer moment, but I think about life's explosive diversity, and I think it's adorable that the Earth's children might one day outshine supernovae

I just called OpenSearch "OnlySearch" in my head

Ain't is a regular first-person contraction of "I am not" They aren't He, she or they isn't You aren't I ain't "I'm not" is an irregular phrase coined by upper-class grammarians so they could tut-tut at the lower classes. But it's also kind of cool that "ain't" took on a firm, gritty register.

Every time I look at my apartment and I think "was that corner always crooked?" I just remember House of Leaves and I'm like "just ignore the extradimensional intrusion/extrusion" I can imagine teaching children "Okay kids, if you see a crack in reality, what do you do?" (chorus) "DON'T JUMP IN!"

it do be like that, Albrecht

I'm working on my femme voice but you know honestly sometimes I use a masculine voice on purpose because I like it when men listen to me and take me seriously

I'm just gonna start referring to LLMs as the Men of Iron

The tech industry may be hemorrhaging, but my BMI is 22, my closet is full of cute outfits, and I've pretty much figured out how to relax through my gag reflex

Life is not a game, but several games Everyone born before 1964 is playing Monopoly People born from 1965 to 1989 are playing Oxygen Not Included And folks born after 1990 are playing Dungeon Crawler World: Earth except they're stuck as level 1 humans

Looking at mammograms and I feel like the chance of a terfy women's health technician "accidentally" mutilating my breasts or rupturing my implants is far greater than my risk of breast cancer

Oooh I got quad 6's on Google Authenticator, hello Satan!

Idea: The government and the fed can print as much money as they like, but they have to give it directly to the people on a per-capita basis.