Barf

What a wild time to be

So thrilled to pay taxes so it can be used to run another country instead of much needed healthcare 😑😬

As a kid, you refused to nap for fear of missing out on things. As an adult you long for naps out of hope that you will miss things.

I only go to instagram these days when I am in the mood to be sold things. It’s all about commerce there.

Sometimes i wonder what possessed me to purchase so many trousers over the last few years and then I wake up feeling out of sorts and the only pair that I can stand to wear are the ones with just the right feeling around the waist and hips. Hormonal fluctuations are the reason!

And this is already true about 2026. Narcissists don’t quit seeking attention y’all. They are exhausting

“I grew up in the 70s when you weren’t allowed to have confidence.” 😂😂😂 Greg Davies, #taskmaster

Love waking up to bewildering news involving another country and just saying “Wait, what?!” 20 times in a row and still not comprehending anything

Ah not me posting the first message on the team Slack to create the illusion of work while doing the bare minimum 😂

Fuck off January 2nd. It’s still December 33rd.

Mamdani: For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty

Time is an illusion except for nap time which is right now

Gonna get “The Rama” next time i get my hair cut.

So glad “2025 wrapped” season is finally over and I don’t have to seem impressed by all the songs, metrics, books, meetings, notes, memes, exercise minutes, workout types, breaths, baths, foods, recipes, games … for another 12 months

Really excited for this new era of aloof wives

What an exhausting year

Looking for jobs. Typed in content as contempt. Contempt Manager Contempt Writer Contempt Marketer Anyone hiring?

It’s not the end of the year if you are not googling people you went to grad school with over a decade ago

It’s me, a person who has gone back to bed within 45 minutes of waking up because … reality is well near unbearable, especially on an icy, sleety Monday morning.

Going into 2026 with a large pan of gooey vegetarian lasagne for emotional support

Why is it that fashion choices rn are the most beige basics or gaudy color block patterns that evoke utter horror

Embracing “slow reading.” No reading goals, no adherence to “best of” lists… just reading whatever I want, whenever I want.

The Biriyani is the crowning achievement of South Asian cuisine.

Don’t you dare send me a digest of nonexistent job listings on Christmas Day, LinkedIn! Don’t you fucking dare!

Watching Home Alone and coming to the realization that this movie taught me the pleasures of just enjoying time alone in a house stocked with plenty of junk food and entertainment options.

If you are a CEO who laid off your employees in favor of AI, I hope you wait up with massive hemorrhoids on Christmas morning.

If there’s one year where I don’t need reminders of everything that happened, it’s this one. Please there’s no need to recap 2025.

I am melting into my couch, i am melting into my bed, i am melting into a puddle and will not solidify for at least a week and a half.

My reading goal is to … enjoy reading

I cannot be expected to have any executive functioning until 2026.

Constantly surprising myself with how much I can get done with 10 sustained minutes of focus.

You are a sadist if you set a 12/23 deadline for your employees but you are on vacation until 1/1. No chance you are reading this 80 page pdf doc this week, my guy.

At this point, this series surely is longer than Nuzzi’s book and just as unnecessary

Listen, forget REM sleep. The Sunday afternoon nap is when your brain says, fuck it, let’s really go for a ride through your subconscious.

Frankly i am okay with shorter days. I can’t afford to do much during the longer ones anyway

Ever since that one awesome party trick where he turned water into wine, he hasn’t done it again anyway. Let the guy sleep in on his birthday and get some takeout.

Vanderpump rules season 1: stassi wants to go to grad school? Such a different vibe.

I know tomorrow is astronomically the shortest and hence the darkest day, but yikes, this whole year has felt so dark, so long, and paradoxically, now it also feels like an incredibly short amount of time for so many atrocities all at once. I am having trouble orienting myself to linear time.

Weighing the tradeoff between sneezing too hard and getting heartburn as a result and not having a real choice 😭

60% of adult life is just figuring out how nice you want to look while running errands.

Oh my god I can’t stop laughing. Especially the 1000 yard stare followed by the impassioned rant 😂

So glad one of our presidents still reads

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the comments section of any article in any major newspaper will quickly devolve into a racist discussion about phrenology.

Most people lead lives of quiet desperation… in Slack.

Delusion: “my words were taken out of context.” Reality: “i thought I could say whatever I wanted and get away with it because consequences are for other people.”

Mordor was a data center

Sometimes i think about Issa Rae’s character “Issa” in Insecure and hope she is really thriving and still has the best mood lighting and wine downs.

I sat down 11 times to talk shit about my boss and coworkers with a reporter who just wanted to check on me and see how I was coping. I thought this was how you made friends as an adult? Also what does “on the record” mean?

I am PTO: Petty, tired, old