*bats eyelashes* hey babe can you imbue my contingent facticity with human worth?

The reason why my tweets are not funny is because everything funny I have to say I text it directly to @ghastly92.bsky.social

"why is your cigarette like bent and weird"

Jealous of my bread? Yeah the bread is fucking bread

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly

How th fuck do they put the ice cream in profiterols

"il veut parler anglais avec moi? Je dis tais toi mon ga!"

Saint Mary Of The Blessed Immaculate NDG Beautiful Virgin Queen Of The World Conception

The holy trinity: mourning loathing and pining

All the armchair meteorologists saying it's gonna snow 🙄

The next person who states with immense amounts of misplaced confidence that any point during the Mesozoic had a meaningfully higher level of oxygen in the atmosphere and also that somehow affected the sizes of vertebrates shall meet their end by my fucking blade I swear on my name

Is the winter Olympics real or is it like staged

Just discovered the winter Olympics is this real??

Deez nuts

big guy pants okay

Going crazy on the socmed

Going crazy on the socmed rn

I-T-C-O-F-E you know it is coffee. SHHHH! Bitch don't kiss and tell! It coffee MTL!!!!!

"you were running through the kirk with your woes"?

In my bed straight up closing it. And by it? I do mean my eyes 😴💤

"They're really into Jesus's mom, you know, Mary, she's like huge"

Friend: u wanna hang out Upstairs people: sorry I have banging on the floor for 12 hours today

"because it's literally mineral"

As Lara Raj once said "gang gang gang gang gang gang"

Life imitates art and by art I mean fear and loathing in Las Vegas and by life I mean fear and loathing in Las Vegas

Sorry for Milly rocking

Je suis la merde Je suis la merde

"it's the lute for me" (@sluttyfutchxoxo.bsky.social, 2026)

Jealous of my gnarliness? Yeah the gnarly is fucking gnarly

i literally feel like oppenheimer

straight girl in my ecology class explaining brokeback mountain: ok so imagine heated rivalry

Someone please write a song more annoying than gnarly so we can move on

"being topical as a topical ass bitch fucking topical"

"I have a winter Olympic sensor in my body"

Some have taken my suggestion to bring back Mo Bamba too seriously

All I do these days on bluesky dot social is quote gnarly

@ghastly92.bsky.social thank you for continuously and continually rescuing my winter hats

You're gnarly, I'm not

me: je ne parle pas français my mom: agh!! Mais merdeeee

there’s been toooo much breaching containment lately can we keep it niche up in here

I'm not letting the Chelsea thing go

Some call me Lav while others call me Chelsea

Chelsea deniers when someone calls me Chelsea:

Chelsea truthers know my name is Chelsea

06s turning 20 was NOT on my 2026 bingo card

Do I look like a Chelsea

I enjoy assigning causation to things that happened after the thing

Toutmonde me dire que je droit ferma ma gueule sur le fucking double vé double vé double vé point cielbleu point social point com

(shaking head) "bisexuals--"

Calling it now the 09s are gonna fulfill my prophecy