Where I'm from we don't need a special day to be thankful but you do you Americans. This holiday was way funnier back when you'd do this performative bs and then trample each other over cheap goods hours later.

Calling 18 vendors today to let them know that pur checks bounced because Chase enabled fraud prevention without enabling our ability to approve flagged checks. 💀 Biggest bank in the world btw. 15 day wait for a phone number to update.

Jesus fuck never ever do business banking with Chase what an absolute fucking joke

Love when I'm on the phone with someone trying to get answers and they're muttering under their breath about their coworkers as they try to get those answers for me.

If I was ever in a position where sports gambling affected my life to such an extent that I felt compelled to make a video complaining about taxes on it, I would kill myself and it'd be the right thing to do.

Jesus fuck listening to my parents talk about election conspiracy theories rn someone shoot me

I didn't get the chance to post about it earlier but the Logan Square redesign already nearly got me killed and I've only ridden through it once since it got opened to two way traffic. Great job CDoT! #bikechi

#bikechi It's wet leaves season careful out there every year I see posts about people eating shit on them don't let it be you

Consultant in charge of consolidating the financials post acquisition does not own a car and is getting here via Metra. We're getting along great

Funny story time! #bikechi So I'm heading home from the dentist ripping East on North Ave with a beautiful tailwind. Suddenly I hear someone laying on the horn and see an SUV coming down the expressway off-ramp trying to merge into me. I have to stop pedaling to avoid the dickhead from running 1/🧵

I am simply incapable of leaving at a reasonable time forcing myself to book it everywhere, but somehow I always make it on time.

Every time some Republican bozo talks about things they consider to be luxuries being SNAP eligible it is our duty to call them broke. You don't buy your family lobster tails? Broke ass, I buy the whole lobster.

My boss usually only shows up to work two days a week at most so I get to yoink his bribes

It'd be so cool if the search bar in Outlook fucking worked but alas.

At my current pace I will have perfect vision at 50 years old

They say lots of screen time is bad for your eyesight but I am simply better and my vision has improved for the 3rd time in 4 years despite my screen time increasing.

Apparently I have a better PR department than Austria because as they've been meeting with various people everyone they spoke to mentioned that if I wasn't there the place would have closed by now.

Just had a 3 hour long meeting with one of the partners buying my company these guys are really doing their diligence.

Interacted with a Brewers fan and now suddenly I'm a globalist Jew sending Slavs to their death in Ukraine. But also somehow don't have a job. Red states💀

My company is getting acquired barring any last minute snafus which is exciting and or concerning.

Strava getting ready for an IPO, suing Garmin. Pretty sure Strava are the ones putting in these bots that I keep getting notifications for. The enshitification of everything continues.

Was just reminded of a conversation I had about AI a few years back. Me: Yeah I'm not interested Them: But it will increase your productivity so much Me: That may be remains to be seen, but fundamentally, life/society shouldn't just revolve around production.

Illinois v. Trump lawsuit seems to confirm the idea that the recent surge of county and state police departments outside of the Broadview ICE facility was decided to preempt the Federalization Order. I'm not justifying that decision per se, but it appears to be the least poor of two poor options.

One of my new favorite hobbies is telling every conservative who makes a spelling or reading comprehension error to self deport.

My left knee out here impersonating a Crispy Rice box

Call @govpritzker.illinois.gov and tell him to call off the Illinois State Police from assisting ICE. This is a violation of the intent of the TRUST Act. Pritzker Phone: 312-814-2121 or 312-814-2122

I left a message with the governor's office expressing my belief that the events in Broadview are not only a violation of the TRUST Act but also Nazi collaboration and I will not be voting for Nazi collaborators. I expect a strong response from the governor today which should at minimum involve

If you want to understand me as a person I feel it's important to know that I take unnecessary risks daily purely because it will inconvenience or annoy a few drivers.

I hate Americans. Just saw a post asking for recommendations of treats to try in the US and this motherfucker goes "yerba mate". I'm thinking hmm that's weird that's a South American plant that you make essentially tea with why is that associated with the US? This is what they were recommending.

Everytime some dumbfuck tells me companies are responsible for climate change I want to smack the microplastics out of them. Yes they're doing the extraction and a lot of the pollution but on behalf of consumers. There's very little that isn't driven by consumer demand. Sure they did a lot of

My brother on the phone with his gf: "They Cubs lost, the Yankees are tied right now. How do you feel about the Yankees this will determine what Maciej thinks of you" BGF: "I can't hear you can you say it again" *proceeds to keep pretending she can't hear and says she'll call him back* Apparently

The economy is shit and the aerospace industry is held together by thread, so almost everyone is paying late, which is a real pain in my ass having to chase after people for payment. Becomes even more of a pain in the ass when I have to deal with fucks trying to gaslight me. It's 2025 everything is

CS: Our accounting department has changed your credit terms from Net 30 to 50% down, 50% net 30 due to a history of late payments Customer: Can you provide us with a list of invoices for the year that were paid late? Reminder our Net 30 begins once parts are received and pass inspection. Me: 🤨 1/2

I'm such a good brother letting my sister practice the shit she's learning in PT school on me

Every time I check apartment listings in Chicago there are fewer and fewer that would actually be reasonably priced for me seems not great.

Currently stringing a scammer along by inputting my credentials into a site they told me to go onto and then immediately changing them on another device

Currently engaged in a two front war between my company, the Melrose Park Water Department and the Melrose Park Post Office. We're not getting our bills, the water department isn't getting their checks and when we hand deliver our payments they're fucking up the application.

Hot goth coworker just stopped me to ask if I had fun on social media the past few days. Why yes, yes I did.

One of my favorite coworkers got a raise and immediately fucked off on a 3 week vacation in the midst of layoffs. What an icon. Absolute diva.

If anyone wants to go be obnoxious at my little brother's cross country meet, his race is at 10AM at Horner Park on Saturday, September 12th and his name is Jakub(Jacob)

Even in the suburbs cars are incompatible with safety. Ambulance stuck for minutes because the school bus can't get out of the way

ICE shot and killed a person in Franklin Park(a near west suburb of Chicago) today, only a few blocks from my route home. We knew this would happen with these masked thugs stopping vehicles weapons drawn, easy for someone to panic and try to get away. May this agent never know peace.

#Chicago Trump may have chickened out of sending the National Guard but ICE agents are still out there terrorizing our neighbors especially on the Southwest Side. If you'd like to help keep members of our community safe you can volunteer or donate here: forms.gle/dY931Sxzs6V9...

Six people at my company getting laid off today. Trump is really bringing back manufacturing jobs.

"Political violence is bad". Sure. Being a Nazi isn't political.

My mom is upset because my first reaction to hearing Charlie Kirk couldn't dodge a bullet was laughter.

FOX 32 just ran a blurb on our ride tonight, CBS Chicago reached out. We have decided to appoint Unicycle Ben as our spokesperson in the fight against ICE! 🛞💪🏻 #BikeChi @benmilford.bsky.social

Time for Poland to invoke Article 5 let's get the tanks rolling to St. Petersburg and Moscow

In any other civilized country the letter would spell the end of the current government but American voters are simply uniquely terrible.

This initiative we're launching is all about making it possible for vendors to stay safe from Trump's goons. The idea is to buy out their stock(and donate it to the needy) so they can head home to the day when ICE is active.