Eagles have not blocked a kick in nearly three quarters. Special teams needs to steal up

Me when my pitch bombs

Watching “School of Rock” with the kids and it’s so random that of all the Ramones songs they could’ve picked to soundtrack the montage they chose “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg”

Now bring back Cavemen!

Kinda want to see what happens to his approval rating from telling pregnant women “just grin and bear it”

As good a time as any to cancel #disneyplus

Like me my son is a Phillies fan all the way and chose number 12 to honor Kyle Schwarber but I couldn’t be prouder that has allowed his teammates to nickname him “Li’l Dumper”

Bill Belichick is finding out that coaching college students isn’t as easy as dating them

Cancelled my Disney+/Hulu/ESPN+ which is tough because everyone knows how much I love streaming bundles

Well at least I’m no longer worried about losing my late night talk show writing job to A.I.

The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’

And with that, Jon Voight withdrew his endorsement

If you don’t like something someone says in their award speech, simply win the award the following year and then you get to give your own speech

Is that a long time for an organ to go untouched

Thank you President Trump for making it safe for Marc Cohn to walk in Memphis again

Needs to be up against Falcons-Vikings every year

The Emmy for best marriage history goes to Katherine LaNasa form The Pitt

I hold no belief more firmly than if I tell my wife, “I have to watch the end of this game, they’re my survivor pool pick!” my team will lose

Sorry I know this is besides the point but "Donald Tusk" sounds like the President in an animated kids' show about elephants

“Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?”

This is tomorrow, if you’re into that sort of thing. qedastoria.com/products/qed...

Things getting out of hand, Anthony Kiedis now claiming when he wrote “Drinkin' my juice, young love chug-a-lug me” in Epstein’s birthday book he was talking about a smoothie place they were gonna open

Daytime me: “companies that replace humans with A.I. are evil” Nighttime me, watching an ump call a pitch three inches outside a strike: “just give this moron’s job to a robot already”

tfw when New York Times Spelling Bee doesn’t accept “BENDED”

That’s a rookie mistake by J.J. McCarthy. Never change the play to a pick-6 at the line of scrimmage

There’s no way this was really drawn by Trump. Neither “milk” is labeled, nor is “lemonade”

It’s only a matter of time before the Supreme Court starts wearing face masks when they issue their decisions

Idea for anyone looking to meet their soulmate:

Good way to make NFL more exciting would be to make every team trade or eject best defensive player. Lot of 41-38 shootouts

If Buddy Ryan were alive he’d have Venmo’d Jalen Carter $50k by now

NFL update: my wife is now using this game to teach our son about toxic masculinity

The only person allowed to spit in the face of the Dallas Cowboys is Jerry Jones

Wow even these guys listen to Joe Rogan

Bet he’s hiding out somewhere, spinning salads and balling melons

Trump could’ve just proved he was alive by posting a “1st day of 74th grade” pic

For his role as Bruce Springsteen in the biopic “Deliver Me From Nowhere,” Jeremy Allen White has been named Best Actor in a Comedy at the Telluride Film Festival

“Rudy Giuliani was flagged down by the victim of a domestic violence incident and then was later involved in a separate unrelated car accident and then the car looked at me”

Most embarrassing moment of my 40s so far was offering the sitter a cab home at 10:30 because it’s “late” and having her tell me “I’m actually going to a party”

My wife and I are in our 40s, so when we have the apartment to ourselves for a couple days next week, we’re gonna do all the crazy things we can’t do when the kids are around, like make brown rice instead of white

My son asked me who holds the record for lowest ERA in a season so we looked up the all-time leaders list. Glad it gave me a chance to teach him about Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown and the dangers of using farm equipment unsupervised

For SI’s NFL preview magazine, I profiled Pat Surtain II. On his childhood spent in NFL stadiums, still getting coached by his All-Pro dad, winning DPOY, the Broncos’ turnaround and more. Great insight from his parents too: www.si.com/nfl/pat-surt...

I’m mostly annoyed that I spent $800 on a ticket to the Man From the Cracker Barrel Logo’s “Farewell Tour”

I’m mostly annoyed that I spent $800 on a ticket to the Man From the Cracker Barrel Logo’s “Farewell Tour”

Travis Kelce petitioning the NFL to have the Chiefs’ 2026 bye week announced a year early

Is this a good idea for a coaster?

I’m sorry but when it malfunctions it has to play “Dirrty” by Christina Aguilera

My daughter - 2022 - looking for a bribe from Eric Adams #tbt

brb, Googling "how do I do adultery?"

President Bill Clinton composing the first presidential email, sent to the prime minister of Sweden

Look, they can’t all be winners.