This is the book I never read These are the words I never said This is the path I'll never tread These are the dreams I'll dream instead This is the joy that's seldom spread These are the tears, the tears we shed This is the fear, this is the dread These are the contents of my head #adoption 🥚 🎶

You know, there was a time when all socio-economic strata dressed in robes. Why did we take this away from ourselves? #fashion #clothes #robes #art

Absolutely fantastic #piano trios from #Hummel by the scorching Trio Parnassus in a relentless performance. 🎻 🎹 🎶 #chambermusic #classicalmusic

I've got 8 years of LEGO sorted by colour in the basement here in Europe. Tariff-free shopping for Americans.

I was taught to eat properly with a fork and knife and how to shave when I was 18 at King's-Edgehill School, a boarding school, when I should have been in 1st year university, because my father only hit me, which didn't include how to shave, hold utensils or not fail. #Adoption is humiliation. 🥚

My 57th #birthday ends. It's easier to do now with a child who doesn't need dad's #adoption getting in the way of them enjoying everyone's b'days, learning the fun of giving and sharing; so his dad's part of his memories for when he's a dad, which many #adoptees never get from their #fathers. 😔 🥚

#Adoption Moments with Bonnie and Clyde: Blanche and husband wanted kids, but she had a number of miscarriages. They #adopted a 12-year-old boy named Rickey. Blanche had a complicated relationship with him as he grew older, especially after her husband died of cancer. An all too familiar story. 🥚

Here's one for James Dobson 🖕 Fat pig priest Sanctimonious smiles He takes the money, you take the lies This is #religion and Jesus Christ This is religion, cheaply priced This is #bibles full of libel This is #sin in eternal hymn This is what they've done This is your religion 🎶 🎸 🎧 #musicsky

On Oct. 23, 2008, James #Dobson published a "Letter from 2012 in Obama's America" that proposed that an Obama presidency could lead to ... the end of the Boy Scouts, home schooling, Christian school groups, #Christian #adoption agencies ...". Of course Dobson supported adoption.🥚

Grace Chapel, #Halifax, has long embraced James Dobson and Focus on the Family. Grace's authoritarian, Patriarchal cult was shaped by #Dobson and neither spared the rod. Obedience without question. Grace tries to present a gentler face, but misery mining at 10% is their only business. #novascotia

My birth certificate’s lie is possible on paper as it has the necessary male and female components. But in the case of a child with two dads who #adopted it, how are the dads represented on its birth certificate? Do they just carry on listing two dads as if they gestated the child? 🤔 🥚

James Dobson's books on child torture were applied to my body. Due to Dobson and our church, who adored Focus on Family, I have #CPTSD and #ADHD in the name of Christ. My parents were mentally ill due to child abuse, as was Dobson, the image of a child crucified by its father God guiding for them. 🥚

I was born Micheal Dean Carter. Named and known as Micheal until 18 months. Then I was called Robert Glenn Curry. But no one ever gave birth to Robert Glenn. My adopters birthed no one. How can I be real if I wasn't born? My birth certificate IDs a non-gestated person. #Adoption is fabrication. 🥚

On this day in #adoption history, #adoptee David Berkowitz, also known as the Son of Sam, is reported to plead innocent and plans insanity defence. However, he refused the insanity defence and pleaded guilty. He remains in prison today. 🥚

“An orchestral/instrumental version of Paul & Linda McCartney's Ram album .. arranged and conducted by Richard Hewson ... in favour of very precise playing and finely detailed arrangements.” Even if you don’t know the original - I didn't - this is fabulous. 🎷 🎸 🎶 #music #musicsky #arrangements

I'm told as an #adoptee I had two mothers, but unsure how to proceed in my #adoption #memoir. I can only write about them as a series quantified - never qualified - past simple facts. One relinquished, one adopted. One named, one renamed. See? Just the bare facts alone are brutal. 🥚 ✍️ 📚💙

We had no family portraits in our home. Madison told us the same about his own. Would men want that otherness framed and displayed in their own home, especially if he were infertile? Wheaton's parents boycotted her wedding. Adopter's retain the bloodless option of built-in distance. #adoption 🥚

Wheaton tells she planned to only take a few months after her daughter's birth before returning to work! I couldn't imagine it. Here in Germany, mothers have 1 year paid maternity. I couldn't imagine leaving a few months old child in care, especially after my own #adoption abandonment experience. 🥚

I've now begun Diane Wheaton's #adoption #memoir, Finding Loretta, and I envy her prose. I now hate my own writing again. Her #writing is as simply elegant as her mother's impeccable dress and style. Yet as with her mother's, Wheaton's style and prose contains far more fraught realities. 🥚 📚💙

In both of their #adoptee memoirs, Wheaton and Marble both lose their also-adopted brothers to suicide in their 20s. I went to school with Peter and Becky Fisk, Black adopted twins. Peter died by suicide in his 20s. #Adoption is unto death. 🥚

I've just read two #adoptee memoirs in which alcohol's the main self medication. It was hard to read about. Alcohol scares me. Absolute chaos. I fear it. I don't understand alcohol in this context. Alcohol unleashed and amplified my loneliness, whereas narcotics - weed, E, LSD - took me far away. 🥚

It's savage and it's cruel And it shines like destruction Comes in like the flood And it seems like religion It's noble and it's brutal It distorts and deranges And it wrenches you up And you're left like a zombie And I want you And I want you And I want you so It's an #adoption 🥚

chimeric | adjective 2 hoped for but illusory or impossible to achieve #Adoption is consequence for substance. Lives sacrificed to substantiate the lie to fulfil a moment. Men who are infertile should be given empathy and support, not strangers' kids to daily remind them of who they aren't. 🥚

Reading an #adoptee memoir in which the adoption-made family experiences the deaths of each other and describe the loss with language used when blood family dies. I don't get it. I asked my father when we'd cry about my mother dying. I HAD TO ASK! Because neither of us ever did. 🥚 #adoption

Marble describes the same violent father as I. Both cheated on their wives, killed animals and were both abused by their own fathers. My father's death was only devastating as it made inescapable I'd never loved, or been loved, by a father. I otherwise welcomed his long overdue death. 🥚 #adoption

#Adoptees naturally want to know who we are. Identity is a very important, though fraught, matter. Yet both birth and adoptive mothers also have the same question: who am I? My adoptive mother asked if I loved her, which meant "am I your mother?" I didn't say yes. At least she knew who she wasn't. 🥚

It's remarkable, however, the number of #adoptees who seem to lose bio and adoptive mothers to #cancer. Is there a correlation found between #adoption and cancer or random convergence? Smokers within the adoption triad is probably significant. My adoptress and birth mother were smokers, as I did. 🥚

Marble shares the painful loss of her mothers. MD Zalma says that #adoptees actually have two mothers. It's wrongly stated that way, presuming all adoptees think of having two mothers. Marble did, but I didn't. I knew both yet neither were my mothers, because #adoption. It's case by case, folks. 🥚

While thinking and writing about #adoption I've found aspects of Quantum Physics very useful. In adoption memoirs by Bohl and Marble, quantum physics play a role in describing their experiences. I am thrilled to find that others have also used Physics while sharing their #adoptee experience. 🥚 📚 ✍️

I'm the #adoptee who doesn't talk about healing while I take meds and heal. My #memoir is a war of attrition. There'll be no easy way out as I was given no hope in my role. I'd no longer be telling my #adopted story if I talked about healing in my #adoption memoir. They're different stories. 🥚 📚 ✍️

Marble's book describes the devastating death of her mother. ; others describe the same. When my adoptress died, I was devastated by a crippling absence of expected grief. I raged, screaming to find loss, but in vain. What I needed to mourn was never having my mother, not her, lost to #adoption. 🥚

New reading has arrived! Two more #adoptee #memoirs whose titles both communicate the same idea, that of being "forced" and "pulled" to refer to #adoption. 🥚 📚💙 #booksky

That child #Beethoven would've been lonely, unloved, yelled at to play #piano while his dad drank is overwritten by the myth of the hero. That poor child was abandoned to the selling narrative. Beethoven was a genius. Beethoven had #CPTSD. Deafness wasn't his great struggle. His #childhood was. 🎻 🎶

If raised by an abusive father and alcoholic mother, people would expect #ADHD, #PTSD & #Anxiety resulting. But if you're #Beethoven, the same doesn't result in mental illness? His music screams success, but look at his symptomatic life. Every portrait cries out the loss and pain we ignore. Why? 🎻 🎶

I follow r/CemeteryPorn and often see some remarkable burial sites and headstones. But this one stuck out. Look at what's written. Erased through to death. Susan, our Adopted and Redeemed Apache If anyone needs proof #adoption is racist colonialism, here ya go: 🥚

I left uni with an A-, which for me was unbelievable! But I did become a good essay #writer, which necessarily included research and note taking. Turns out, writing one's #adoption #memoir requires the same #reading and note taking, not just #writing memories. I must "research" my life. 🥚 💙📚 ✍️

We weren't crazy for hating proximity to our #adopters. We weren't broken for hiding who we were. We were IN DANGER OF BEING UNMADE finding a way to preserve a shred of our real selves til we could reclaim it and start trying to remember who we were before the hiding began. #Adoption 🥚

That we are born to connection is a wild thing for this #adoptee to consider. How did the idea that separation from one's origins is not harmful in a species for whom society is definitional. Families, communities, sport teams, fan clubs, countries, etc. We are naught but organised connections. 🥚

This same process is employed by #Evangelical #Christianity, who works to emotionally separate children from their parent's love and authority in deference to the church's laws. Christianity and #adoption both require the rewiring of children's beliefs and literal brain matter. 🥚 #religion 🧠

The loss of #adoption isn't just emotional, it’s neurological, disrupting development at the core of identity and self-regulation. Without that first bond, everything else forms around a vacuum. #Adoptee brains grow into survival, not connection, trauma disrupting the brain's hemisphere bonds. 🥚 🧠

My book-in-progress is not a story of hope and recovery, even as I finally experience these things in my 50s. My intention is to show what my #adoption looked like, which also includes sexual abuse, domestic abuse, religious trauma, crime and the consequences. It's a warning, not a way out. 🥚 💙📚

My up-next on-order #adoption memoir is David B. Bohl's "Parallel Universe: The Story of Rebirth" which reveals the inner turmoil and broad spectrum of warring emotions - shame, anger, triumph, shyness, pride - he experienced growing up as a #relinquished boy. The eyes on the cover nails it. 🥚 📚💙

I was arrested in Ottawa 1989 for possession. My court date had been set for the following summer and I had returned to Nova Scotia. Returning to Ottawa for my court date, nobody came with me. No one from my #adoptive family came with me. I could've been jailed! Adoption's alone. 🥚 #adoption

If you've not read this yet, get it! This brings us closer to the raw catastrophe of #adoption in vulnerable honesty. Much about my own experience is not merely echoed, but she often reports exactly the same events, the same loss, the same self-sabotage repeating. Revealing synchronicity. 🥚 📚💙

I have just received Anne Heffron's #adoption memoire, You Don't Look Adopted, and the title struck me even before opening the book. Of course, #adoptees don't look like anyone #adopted. 🥚 💙📚

Breakfast Club was a documentary. #movies #generationx #80s #newwave #postpunk 🥚

Mr. Carney, you're like regression for progress. It's wrong. Oppose or amend Bill C‑5 to restore environmental safeguards; Demand clear limits on Cabinet’s power to exempt laws and regulations; Advocate for full #Indigenous consent and transparent public review processes. @mark-carney.bsky.social

#Adoption is like RAM for ROM. If that switch were done to a computer, the consequences mirror those of adoption for an #adoptee: Loss of Non-Volatility Increased Cost Reduced Reliability Performance Trade-offs Complexity in Firmware Updates Impact on Boot Processes 🥚

I still hide from my adoptress, who died in '97 It's not that I live under a delusion she's here In my home listening Observing I still hide from my adoptress now To make up for the time I failed to deny her access By not running at 16 How do I run away Now 40 years ago? 🥚 #adoption #poetry

The consequences of #adoption are limitless. I'm now in a battle with the Nova Scotia gov't and its Prosecution Service who appear to be burying my #CSA case. I was sexually abused in a town in which I'd never have been had I not been #adopted. Adoption's war. 🥚 #mahonebay #lunenburg #novascotia