Me at a job interview answering what my strengths are:

Next week on the Amazing Racist

DAY ONE ON NIGHT ONE #YEET  #WrestleMania

Roman Reigns should just make Paul Heyman do this

Maybe they thought Signal meant they had to signal everyone.

Tulsi Gabbard looking ROUGH lately.

Me trying to steal the ranch recipe from Wingstop HQ

⚠️NEW EPISODE DROPPED!⚠️ Join @goldenboy.pro @jakegbennett.bsky.social and @dramakingmatt.bsky.social as they cover the SHOCKING storyline developments on #Raw! PLUS, we talk the state of WWE's midcard titles in OVER/UNDER! 🔗 www.rebookedpod.com + www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKdO...

Give me HALF of a percent of this to make one of my scripts, I’ll give you a banger. Give small filmmakers, writers, and producers a chance. We may just surprise the hell out of you.

You come for the king, you best not miss 🪳💪🏼

Breakfast should be served until 1pm on the weekends.

We need more villains in Marvel Rivals. Here’s who would like to see that I think could be fun: Green Goblin Ultron Mr. Sinister Doc Ock Taskmaster Carnage Juggernaut Bullseye Mystique Crossbones Thunderbolt Ross/Red Hulk Sabretooth

If I send you this, it’s because I was right about that thing from years ago.

The fine people at Canvas Rebel interviewed me for their website! I was also shocked, but here we are. Give it a read! canvasrebel.com/meet-jake-be...

Well, damn… I’m gonna have to watch all the Bond movies in order again now.

YOUR TIME IS UP. HIS TIME IS NOW.

I am BEGGING companies to understand that a Net 30 or 45 doesn’t mean you HAVE to wait until day 30 or 45 to pay.

I miss football.

The Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday.

🤼Our Wednesday show is LIVE!!🤼 This week discussed how consistently good collision has been but not without itself hiccups. We also cover our real thoughts on the Toni Storm/Mariah May promo from this week’s #AEWCollision Let’s jump in >>> youtu.be/fNLs7MMKTg0?...

Republicans at Christmas: “Hold up… you mean to tell me this Siberian Orchestra is trans?”

Nah, that ain’t him. Bro was with me all day.

That’s the most Chicago Bears way to lose I have ever seen. Happy Thanksgiving!

Game show idea: The Hot Box hosted by Snoop Dogg. Players sit in a clear glass container and answer trivia. Every wrong answer gets more weed smoke pumped into the chamber so you get dumber as you play. Celebrity guests join in the second round and can “take the hit” for you.

How do I get this app to understand I don’t give a shit about soccer?

This mf will do anything but write.

Now I KNOW the people in a cult ain’t talking about US being in an echo chamber.

The only buffers I want to see during a fight.

So are we all here or on Threads? Because you’re gonna get me on ONE. I can’t be checking all these damn apps all the damn time. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll see replies to this. And before you say it’s an age thing, it’s most definitely a laziness thing.

Anyone else here a Grimace refugee?