I love to follow someone and then immediately mute them

When I was 8 years old my aunt Shelly drove us cross country with only 2 cassette tapes in her car: the Beaches soundtrack and the original cast album of Cats

Oh look, a doctor doing some real healing of the world.

Me 🤝 Dr. Dillamond THE GOAT

Greetings from my (un)dressing room

These swans are SNATCHED

SHE IS RISEN

A little surprise this morning from the Easter Bunny

Please disrespect my privacy during this time

Penne is the worst pasta shape

Remember when they made a movie of Cats? That was wild.

How to survive a heat wave

My mother just texted me "I got a pimple on my twat!" Hope your Monday is going well.

Happy Birthday Sondheim ❤️🎵

The "silence" button on a smoke detector is just decorative

One thing is certain I will leave a hotel room cleaner than I found it

Give me an Oscar for most adorable?

Beware the Eyes of Laura Mars

As far as I'm concerned Pluto is still a planet

I'm a handful

I would describe my style as "90s cool dad"

I found sunscreen on the camera lens creates a rather nice filter

Nothing makes me feel older than Snapchat

*taps sign*

Screaming

I'm certain she can parlay her people and puppy murdering skills into other opportunities

Can someone please explain matcha to me and start from the beginning

Nerd alert

Good morning everything is bad!

Imagine saying that a democrat has to earn your vote in 2026

Do you think World War III will produce as many good musicals as World War II?

Not a good day today but that's ok! There's always tomorrow.

Oh hey March I didn't see you there

TGIFebruary

Now I really want to visit Nice Côte d'Azur

Smoke and mirrors

Netflix won't counter Ellison's offer. Ladies and gentleman, the full right wing power grab is here and will now be beamed into every home on CBS, CNN, HBO, movies from Warner and Paramount. about.netflix.com/en/news/netf...

Going on my gay little walk

Somehow this ended up on Heterosexual Threads and for the first time in my life I'm being thirsted over by straight women

Well here we are at the gym again but to what end?

POV: you've come to borrow a cup of sugar

This is how you sit in chair?

Submitted my SAG award votes... and there was bloodshed

Gays where do you buy your T-shirts?

The fact that there are any photographs at all before the introduction of smartphones is a miracle

Which is the biggest lie? A) fogless mirror B) fits shoe sizes 6-12 C) stop2end

I loved this movie so much

DO YOU VALIDATE?

Sunday scaries + tequila frights