To the guy at Dave and Buster’s who slapped my wife’s ass and took my last play on the claw machine: I’m actually really glad you didn’t win anything.

What’s it like to hold the balls of someone you love? Interlinked Within balls interlinked Interlinked Did they teach you to feel ball to ball? Torsion

God forbid a white boy owe the poop man a few bucks

My friend has been collecting data about his work bathroom experiences. Out of 106 people, 56 sat right next to him just this year alone.

allegory of the goon cave

I need a chili cheese dog today or else I will die

heavy hangs the balls…

I’m a big midnight snack enjoyer. My favorite midnight snacks are ones that will give me heartburn, so it’s a race to see if I can fall asleep faster than my body can get angry.