They are doing penis experiments at the Large Hardon Collider in normal Switzerland

Been a while since i heard lightning, i thought we got nuqyueler bombed :hands_plasping:

having tea at 8 pm because my circadian rhythm was made by King Crimson

The waves crash on Slim City's shore. This is a place of hope

There is a guy in Australia who eats yogurt for every meal every day, his blood contains the most potent yogurt antivenom known to man

I sure hope no one steals my wonderful amulet which I dearly love and keep behind an unlocked door

I wonder how old a chimp has to get before it becomes a gorilla

Join me in prayer, brothers and sisters, that the BeamNG.Drive teaser thing is for a new mid-size cabover. Non-believers DNI

somebody is diggin my bones

I think I'd rather be called a slur than a redditor

Doctorate Pizza? I sure hope he did

Strange purple fluid oozes from my walls, and I keep asking on line and in person for help but no one gives any help, they just keep asking "why did you invite the purple fluid into your home" "you shouldn't have poured purple liquid down the sink"

(dracula voice) I got telekinetic powers, I stroke my shit like a fuckin theremin

If tea is so good how come they never made U

My Galactican buddy Zebulus Nebulous has been blowing fat clouds of primordial chemicals I can't pronounce, got my apartment looking like the protoplanet Abraxas

Do you think the platonic ideal of a cheeseburger contains ketchup, mustard, and/or relish (genuine question)

Those who shart

Pizza sickness takes no prisoners

Just listened to The Plight of The Fiddler. I do not understand why people talk it up so much, it really was not that good

Mysterious GREEN Slime Claims Yet Another Small Village, No Survivors

I'm pullin hairs, I'm strokin numbers, you're seeking grares, down in the cumbers

I have a disease where I instantly go into a psycho-hog-insticts fugu state whenever I see a red berry and I eat it. This often makes me very ill because I do not know which berries are safe to eat, nor could I convince my hogsona alt form to care

10 million pounds of pork fat

I put a hardboiled eggg up my ass ans shit it out with no shell!!! OW!!!

Ancient Mesopotamian kush got me cultivating floodplains and building city-states

I got G's like Freddy Fazbare

Wtf man this recipe just calls for "slop"

I've got the Mysterious Case of Benjamin Button but instead of ageing backwards I get hard backwards

whenever I see LBJ I think it means Lackwards Bong Jump

Haters were saying I'm not chuddy with it, I lack chumption. Pulled up my sleeve and showed em the Chud-series Albanian Tungsten wristwatches with Homer SImpson voiceboxes, they were befuddled

My drip must got Curse of Binding cause I won't be caught dead without that shit on

Pizza sickness takes no prisoners

Damn I must be Homersexual the way I get this yellow

Unpleasant odour and large

Yer mum plies like a Norfolk wherry but she's a broadside of a tonne-and-a-half

Just saw a gremlin get blown up by a land mine, turned the forest green. Well I guess it was already green but now its green with gremlin guts. #likeaboss

Hash tag retirement homes ner me

Selling brown sunglasses (poop-vision) for 20 pound a piece. No low-ballers, turnstiles, sweep-shackers, or layabouts

Oh come on guys, stop being such a wuss, the Manitoba Pingler is just a myth, an urban legend (the unmistakable stench of raspberries emanates from behind me)

Just tried to cut down a tree with a crossbow. #likeaboss

You ever watch a minecraft furniture tutorial and be on board as hell and then they bust out the armor stands and pistons

She flimbogged on my scumpsack

But have you folks ever heard of the Steimlich manoeuvre? (begins shoving more food into the choking person's throat)

"Put 2 and 2 together" not so easy is it though. I nrver learned how 2 add. just skipped right past that bit in kindergarten and bullshat my way through hs

Should have never smoked that shit before the naming ceremony paranoid as fuck that they're gonna call me shitmouth or something like that fuck fuck fuck

Day 1 of soaking pieces of paper in liquids and reviewing them: Water. Hoo boy.

You've stepped right into my sap, gnatman

Shawty got me twerking on the Google Docs perc