Today’s timeline cleanse:

Weird memory lane moment: watching the end credits of Stranger Things and noticing they’re done in Belwe, the most cringe eighties font ever. I went through stacks of Belwe letraset working at TV Guide. Now I feel old.

Brutal:

Dune-know The Way To San Jose

Honour today’s Winner of the Internet by making this viral:

Bung this on the wrong place and you’ll have a monkey-back guarantee (thankyou, I’m here all day)

Can you believe these lazy little shites:

post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.

The weekly expedition into Raglan for a coffee and to keep these two little drongos properly socialised with other dogs.

Daughters have dressed the Groblins up.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day You ate it with fava beans and Chianti

In today’s episode of Why Is Everything Stupid Shit? we ask which utter nimrod in Whitcoulls thought it was a good idea to glue Xmas wrapping paper rolls closed rather than using the traditional small rubber band:

The Beast is back in its lair again:

Urgent call-out for the Groblin Timeline Cleansing Service:

Trump spent 120 penises on golf in his first six weeks in office

More timeline cleansing:

Timeline cleanse continues: Floof#2 in her latest happy place:

Urgent timeline cleanse: stop steaming at T**** for 5 minutes and look at my chilled-out floof instead

Let's turn the word "grok" into another term for AI slop eg "Youtube is almost unusable now with all the bloody grok on it"

For Thomas Coughlan's article #nzpol www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/politics/...

The Groblins in thoughtful mode

I’m proud to announce that I’m the inaugural winner of the FIFA Cartoonist Prize.

Nadi airport departures: on passing through the x-ray whatsit, an absolute mountain of a Fijian customs man gruffly tells me to hold my hand out. I nervously do so, and he shakes it and says BULA

There was an old bishop of Malta Who wrote dirty rhymes in his psalter A horny old nun Went and read every one And resolved to get laid on his altar

Four much-needed days in Fiji. Gluttony, sloth, and snorkelling:

And don’t forget the US bombing of Serbian state TV in ‘99, on the pretext that they were racist propagandists rather than real journalists. Which was true enough, but sets an interesting precedent for any future enemy of the US when faced with “journalists” like Fox and OAN.

Flashback to 2013:

The best advertisement for immigration is, terrifyingly, the Manhattan Project.

(Yes, I know, late to the party, but...) What's in the box, Charlie Brown

For Thomas Coughlan's article: www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/politics/...

I had to get this #NotFunny out of my system. Worked better in my head:

I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next, Charlie Brown

I met Death today. We are playing chess, Charlie Brown

We’re gonna need a bigger boat, Charlie Brown

I had intended to totally come off Bluesky apart from the cartoons. Then I realised I’d have no forum to post pics of the Groblins on:

In today’s NZ Herald #nzpolitics

About to chop up some ginger and realised it looked like a Neolithic cave painting of a mammoth/rhino/hippo mashup

OPERATION JUST THE TIP I PROMISE

What they wanted was a Russian robot. What they got was a robot Russian: youtu.be/xL0rIZijkzo