dear music people: i’m so sorry but if you don’t know solfege you should learn solfege.

girl who sat in her cold car for ten minutes to defrost bc she forgot to buy an ice scraper

rip my boobs i will only miss you a little bit

girl who overcame her fear of logging into her bank to deposit checks that are so old they had to be reissued because they were summer income girl who did a budget and figured out paying off her cards by spring girl who can do things

shooting blankets

oh no an institution hired me to play harpsichord; i am exchanging my joy of playing harpsichord for money—a transaction which will deplete my joy thereof and render the skill to be yet another job i hate doing because of capitalism.

music (the creative exploration of sound and all of its beautiful possibilities) vs Music (the process of codifying and reproducing the ideas)

i told one of my students i needed him to take initiative in finding rep to learn for lessons and asked him to go to the library and find a song book bro came back with a book of folk songs from lotr written by a guy who knew and consulted with tolkien.

girl who did her shot early for once

i wonder how many regular madewell girlies bought this necklace not knowing it’s flagging jewelry like the overlap of lesbians and madewell customers is literally just femmes: we are a community minority

girl who is a baby organist

slowly losing my mind as i engage in cutting anything out of my life that makes me feel bad except for the things that make me feel bad i will give it another two weeks or so before no one is left in my life

i love working eight hours at the office then coming home to cry and pour myself a gin tonic

rainy winter day calls for fuckass coat i think i think my office is like 50* rn someone remind me to buy thermal tights.

it’s all fun and games when you’re developing a taste for french mustards and adorable little cornichones, but eventually you start to lose control and buy french ham, and french butter, and before you know it you’re beheading the ruling class in this essay i will eat a jambon-beurre

girl who managed to gain five pounds during vacation week (please clap)

i’m home which means i should be dealing with all of the loose ends i have left till after the holiday to tie up but i will not be doing that, instead i will be ruminating.

no i didn’t give you the wrong vibe, my personality actually is this atrocious

i may be a lot of things but i’ve never written a substack article about being trans so i’ve really got that going for me.

if i ever come to this impasse again may i have the memory to remind myself that there is always too much grief in the room

collecting mirror selfies in all of the mirrors of this house bc it’s The Law

packaging all of my misgivings and ingratitudes into a tidy box so i can remember that i can remember that a week ago when i was close to dying and shut everything out i finally felt peace i don’t know why it has to be that way; not enough therapy to cover new experiences, i guess happy tgiving <3

when ur thanksgiving is alone in the middle of nowhere so u just lift two hours a day for a week and get swolesgiving

10 years 🙃

ten years (i literally have to reactivate an old instagram and scroll through a decade of archived photos to find these)

fjörd focus

tgirl fashion hive mind how do we feel about clogs

haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time

its so cool that our two trans holidays are "please remember we exist" and "please stop killing us"

dad is gone. got my mom stoned. she is eating apple pie and complaining about my dad misgendering me

entering today with this energy you can’t say nothin to me

first night at my mom’s, first time in her home since transitioning four years ago, first time seeing my dad since he told me he wouldn’t use my name and wouldn’t work to understand four years ago. a night of he/hims with maybe a tenth of them corrected, a night of being called matt. oh well.

i had a concussion scare last night and my wife asked me to do something on her phone just now and said “don’t read the search history”

good morning lesbians and anyone who has set their ooo email autoreply for the next week

girl who hasn’t been able to keep down liquids for 48 hours

two days straight of excruciating stomach cramps someone please just come kill me

alright i’m ready to fuck my life up that’s what fall is for ig

damn. i feel pretty good about my voice most of the time, it usually passes when it matters and doesn’t take much effort, but i’m realising when i have to work six days a week around a lot of cis people of means i kind of need to step it up. like im not getting misgendered but ive seen hesitation.

isolation was always the answer

the thirty fucking minutes i have to spend sitting in my car after i get home because my body doesn’t have sufficient energy to get me from the car to my house without keeling over

the beautiful freedom in the realisation I Don’t Have To Like U

cat nap

awake early enough before teaching to work out: :( awake early enough before teaching to work out: :)

girl who cries at the aquarium because those poor dolphins are in a cage

yo just love it when i get into a lyft and the driver immediately blasts praise and worship music i immediately feel cured of my transness

yesterday someone in the office mentioned a transition we would have to be navigating soon & i joked that i have a lot of experience with transitions. no one got it. follow me for more jokes that are unsatisfying when you pass sometimes.

girls love a fresh shot morning

when ur friend messages you hbd and you momentarily forget she’s literally a priest

girl who took her first estrogen dose exactly four years ago today

adding feminine energy to this office’s correspondence by inserting exclamation points into email templates left to me by my predecessor