I bet she thought the comment section would be pretty different from the way it was.

A Democrat who runs on “let’s prosecute every ICE agent” wins in a landslide. Write it down.

My uncle was an actual detective. Real detective work is tedious and would make a horrible spectator sport. If what you’re doing is interesting to watch, it’s probably not good detective work.

When my son started riding BMX and started getting really good, he briefly got a little cocky about it and started talking himself up. (He was about 7.) I put an end to that immediately. “If you really are good, other people will say it for you.” It didn’t take long. They did.

Can you name a single good leader who was so interested in putting his name and likeness all over the country?

When this is all over - and it will be - it’s going to take years to clean up the mess.

You’re two heartbeats away from the presidency. Following the news literally is your job.

They should get jobs, then. That’s what they tell me when I need liquid cash on hand.

Absolutely. I’ve met some of my best friends on social media.

Nearly every one of my heroes I have met have been amazing human beings. I’m friends with most of them now.

Six, duh.

Just found the subreddit r/crappymusic Now I have to scroll through with the sinking feeling I’m going to find one of my songs. Lol

I know this is a joke, but it’s a good time to remind folks that Patrick Mahomes is 6’2” 225 lbs, runs a 4.8s 40, and would put the average American in intensive care if they tried to tackle him.

"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid." — Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book 🎧

Let’s be honest. No one ACTUALLY likes their E string, right?

Ah, my spirit animal.

Fun day on the slopes with the fam!

Oh boy.

Rest in Peace, President Carter. Well done, good and faithful servant.

Can you use a wah pedal on an electric violin?

if you really dedicate yourself to an instrument you can, over many years of rigorous practice, become so skilled that you can only produce music that is completely unlistenable

Algeria. Algeria has universal health coverage. The US doesn’t. Ghana. India. Romania. Mexico. Cuba. They all have universal health coverage.

I’ve probably watched a total of 6 hours of s*ccer in my life, most of it against my will. The algorithm, drunkenly, I assume, is feeding me a steady diet of… yeah. I’m not even using the word. I don’t want to feed the monster.

When you’re booked for a Masquerade party…

If you can’t plug your fiddle in, what are you even doing with your life?

Headed out to play with Mikele Buck tonight!

Touching up the Deninzon electric violin concerto for a performance… with limited success.

Howdy!