the reason trump is in power now is because ed, edd n eddy stopped playing on the tv

it is 2013. washington's presumptive franchise quarterback suffers a major injury at home against the seahawks. it is 2025. washington's presumptive franchise quarterback suffers a major injury at home against the seahawks

huge freeze? yeah, i loved arnold in "batman & robin"

if i was making fun of CBS's programming i would definitely come up with "sheriff country" as a fake tv show

my other hot take: the jays are finishing under .500 next year at the very least. idk if they can recover from this

what if tom brady was a baseball team (derogatory)

jays and dodgers doing this bc they knew i wanted to watch a movie after the game

it makes so much sense that taylor sheridan was in "sons of anarchy." the spirit of that show flows through everything he's made since

we really are reliving the george w bush presidency, huh

this is a really confusing game for me because i hate green bay and aaron rodgers in equal measure

rest assured, this account does not have negativity for rome odunze

if he went by fred krueger he would've just been some guy with an office job who sometimes forgets to keep up with his fantasy football team

paul skenes is like, what if a pitcher had randy johnson's stuff and and chris klein's on-camera charisma

i hope the geico gecko gets eaten by a snake or a housecat

this is an emotional series for the dodgers, if they win clayton kershaw gets to live out his lifelong dream and be sworn in as an ICE officer when they visit the white house

who reasons when you've got heroin?

[the cranberries voice] would you like to pull my finger

if sufjan stevens made a new illinois album he'd have to do a song about lori lightfoot, which means he'd be playing the glockenspiel or whatever on a song called "the biggest dick in chicago"

conference call with HR because i won't stop doing the paulie walnuts laugh at the office

mike d'antoni

i swear to god this website has some of the softest people i have ever seen

on top of everything else, "curt cignetti" is a fantastic name. cop who reluctantly teams up with the hero in an action movie name

holding vigil for the WAC (watching san jose st/wyoming)

that glen powell football show doesn't look good but there is a certain old school charm in seeing an actor who is clearly 35 years old cast as a college student

won in fantasy with my first two picks injured

you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the parent in an apple jacks commercial

i've come around on the nfl kickoff rules. it's so stupid it's actually kind of charming

something i cannot prove but know in my heart is true is that a bunch of espn people have a groupchat dedicated to talking shit about dan orlovsky

men only want one thing (to execute a flawless "memories of murder"-style dropkick) and it's fucking disgusting

need a feed that shows these guys reacting in real time

went to look something up on pro-football-reference

we love a tie folk's

do you think there was a dinosaur democratic party that was like "this is all a distraction"

20 years ago yankees fans would be saying "cal raleigh's gonna look great in pinstripes" and now they're crying about how aaron judge has a better wRC+...how the mighty have fallen

does this mean that jimmy kimmel is going to get a talk show on hbo and turn into a weird angry hack

jimmy fallon's show got cancelled too, he's just too drunk to notice

if a guy who publicly insulted my wife died i would dance on his grave but i guess i'm just built different

whenever there's some republican whose stated beliefs are "slavery was good, washing your hands makes you gay, you should be allowed to shoot delivery drivers who are parked on your street too long" there's a legacy media dipshit calling them "a firebrand with unorthodox views"

BREAKING NEWS: turns out charlie kirk's neck just kinda did that on its own

the bulls said "everyone's bummed out about the bears game, let's make them feel worse"

he's quietly become the new jason garrett in that he loves taking his foot off the gas as soon as he's two scores up at any point in the second half

steve carrell changing his name to avoid anti-italian discrimination like it's 1913 is an incredible thing to have learned

watching russell wilson throw the ball and trying to imagine what his post-playing career looks like. i think "christian entertainment industry" might be his only realistic path

if the white sox can win at least 61 games does will venable get some manager of the year votes? that's a 20-game improvement over last year

nbc showing matt eberflus onscreen

the masculine urge to take a script that's already funny and start riffing on a level that is freakin' sublime

let's remember some outfield depth

times square tony dungy impersonator

i've slept on it and here is my very calm and collected take on micah parsons going to the green bay packers:

[the fixx voice] one battle after another