Why did I ever live Fort Greene (Because my landlord refused to do repairs and then paid me to move out and then I couldn't afford to live there anymore)

Every few months, I test each streamer I subscribe to. I visit it with arbitrary cancellation. If this is taken as sincere, and I am offered six months for just $1.99 per month, I judge that service harmless--I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I unsubscribe utterly.

Did you guys know that Baker Street isn't just the saxophone solo from Baker Street? There's, like, a whole song around it! And it doesn't sound very much like the saxophone solo of itself! This world is just so full of wonder.

What if the kid in big was body swapping with himself in the future? Such that at some point in his adult life, he became his younger self? That movie would be called Small: A Big Story, and it would go something like this: a-zo-zo-zo-zo, zooay

malcolm gladwell has been a dipshit for 10,000 hours

Imagine being given the name Thomas Chatterton Williams and then actually going by Thomas Chatterton Williams. If it were me, I'd insist on being called T. C. "Bill" Williams.

What if the Butlerian Jihad was actually about people who preferred Ask Jeeves to AI chatbots?

There's hardly any everything on this bagel. It is, at best, a something bagel.

Wait...should we have renamed Queens after Elizabeth died?

Find yourself someone who hugs you the way Chuck Mangione hugged his flugelhorn

ICEblock, which allows users to alert others to the geographical location of ICE officers, is the top social networking app in the App Store right now after Karoline Leavitt condemned it from the podium yesterday.

Liver King is a pretty terrible name for a villain. He should have gone with The Organ Grinder.

If I could vote, I would be voting against Cuomo. But I cannot vote, thanks to the white man's laws.

Learned Hand is one of the best names anyone has ever had, and there really should have been a TV show in the late 70s/early 80s about Learned Hand wandering from town to town, granting judicial relief to the salt-of-the-earth characters he meets along the way.

The rats have chosen a new pope.

Sure, the conclave is fun and all, but it's no Cadaver Synod.

Procoptodon (short-faced giant kangaroo) pictured next to the silhouette of a women who is confident in her career decisions

Had a terrible rash over most of my body for several days. Finally went to an urgent care clinic about it. They asked me why I didn't come in earlier. Because, sir, I subscribe to the one true American health care plan: ignore it and hope it goes away.

I feel like people don't talk about the moment in the video for Olivia Newton John's physical where the fat guys are getting transformed into hunks via the magic of video transition and one of the fat guys is still there after getting transformed into a hunk and both he and the hunk are like "Huh?"

what the fuck the founder of chipotle literally just looks like someone shaved the grinch

How can Hollywood have a word for pubic wigs but not for prosthetic/stand-in dongs? This goddam world makes no goddam sense

In a few years, no young people will believe that: • We used to write things on paper and that meant your bank gave someone money • If you knew certain numbers you could makes someone's pocket computer buzz • We used to go to a place and tick boxes and whoever got the most ticks became president

I'm just glad Robert Guillaume isn't around to see any of this

Has anyone here ever tried going into the forest and lying down and letting the tree roots grow over you but then you can’t move or breathe? Just curious if anyone has any experience with that or any advice about it. That’s not what’s happening to me right now, I’m just curious.

Is there anything good left in this world? Specifically, on Netflix?

If you could be any kind of Patch Kid, what kind would you be?

We really need a better word in English for a store that sells bagels

Name a non-LOTR character who could resist the One Ring

I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this new Superman movie, and will continue to feel that way right up until the scene where Krypto bores through someone's abdomen.

Is there a generic word for living snowmen? Or are they all just frosties, in the same way that all vampires are draculas?