Happy Friday to everyone except the office poltergeist who keeps hitting my number lock button. All day. Every day. About to sage my cubicle. #haunted #ghost #horrorwriters #horror #work

Chomsky? CHOMSKY?!? I couldn’t be more disappointed if they found Kermit and Fozzie in the flight logs.

All Cops liked the second Aunt Viv Better

Book banning moms are just naming their kids after Warby Parker frames now? Dropped my kid off at school and a bunch of homophobes in Moms 4 Liberty shirts were saying goodbye to Carrick, Dawson, and Whiskey Tortoise. #Booksky #Pride #Pridemonth #LGBTQ

My fellow Americans, We as a nation need to stop letting Bruce Springsteen dress like a contestant on Ink Master.

Kermit=wrote senior thesis on John Rawls but ends up voting for centrists Miss Piggy= had Che poster in her dorm at Oberlin Scooter=got into Ben Shapiro after a breakup Fozzy=libertarian-socialist even though his Chomsky jokes bomb Animal=Baader-Meinhof sleeper agent

Me: This time I am studying the Russian Revolution like an adult. Me 1 hour later: Mensheviks were Gryffindor Liberals were Hufflepuff SR were Ravenclaw Bolsheviks were Slytherin

As the writers who defined my adolescence reveal themselves to be monsters, I'm ever-more thankful for Stephen King. A man who wants nothing more than to write stories and tell them to the world. We're lucky to have him.

In East Slavic folk-calendar, December 9th is the day when bears start their winter hibernation and wolves come closer to people’s homes. #dontgointothewoods #GothicAdvent #ijulemørket #folklore Illustration: Sergei Pankejeff

10,000 steps. 1500 calories. 600 hymns to Cthulhu. #DailyMotivation

felt pretty good

Just in case you lost your recipe and you wanted to make this today