I hope Count Binface is treated with total seriousness by all journalists, like when they interview Miss Piggy.

I hate tennis

No other parties standing in clacton so Farage gets re-elected but without a real mandate and then gets the sanction for his dodgy finances would be the smartest thing to happen in British politics

How do I explain to the gym twink next to me that he doesn’t need to struggle with the 16kg hammer curls, my arms are bigger than his and 12kg is ego lifting for me

Marine Le Pen at 12.30, Farage at 14.00, how much joy/disappointment can we experience in one afternoon?

I don’t care about the England football team, but I do enjoy the reflexively anti-English weirdos being disappointed when the opposing team loses every game

You’d think it’s just the Y*nks being miserable in the replies/quotes, but of course the poe-faced Irish-In-London are there proving sense of humour is discarded on the Ryanair flight over

Confessions II is the album of the year

When Kate Forbes says God Hates F*gs it’s a conscious, when other people reject her for having offensive views they disagree with it’s a different, worse thing

If you move to the south, your opinion on Northern matters stops being relevant and you can hold off on the thinkpieces and let actual current Northerners speak

I didn’t realise Dr Congo was England’s proctologist

No x

EES kiosks not in use at Montpellier, manual EES takes a few seconds longer than EU citizens exiting Schengen (who are just in the non-EU line). Queue moving about pre-Brexit speed BUT!!! Gate only announced 25 minutes before pushback! Not enough time even if this was an Irish flight!

People talk about trains in Europe being better but is it better when Nîmes - Montpellier is every 15/20 minutes except in the late morning when there’s a 90 minute gap for no good reason

Put the 20h news on to see when the UK will be mentioned Story 4, about people dining and dashing, saying French law should allow restaurants to shame people online, like “our British neighbours do”

There’s a French gentleman doing his English duolingo on the train behind me and he can’t get past the speaking exercise when there’s a “th” and I want to take the phone off him and do it myself

Us Anglos are arguing every year about kink at pride. Meanwhile Nîmes Pride has a dedicated kink float

[Dannii Minogue voice]

Scam Interceptors is on in the background and it’s infuriating watching Rav Wilding and his little band being so incompetent

Linen blend trousers get a big tick, but non-linen blend relaxed shirts are missing out on one

All the “why Manchester and not Leeds/Darlington/Whitby????” whining in response to this means it’s time to break free from ‘The North’ and embrace the North West as the true heart of England Cut loose the hangerons from Y*rkshire 🤢

People who wouldn’t vote for a left wing government want an election so they can vote for a right-wing government; people who wouldn’t vote for a right-wing government don’t want an election that lets one in More on this story as we get it

The England football team right now:

Big name journalists popping out now Starmer’s resigned to say they knew all along he was shit and they always hated him… right sure and why does this all come out now then?

Means testing the winter fuel allowance is a good policy and he should have just done it

I say, as a leaving treat, we let Starmer indulge in his favourite hobby and give him permission to shoot all those Dartmoor ponies

The choir in the background is an interesting creative choice

Nothing makes you appreciate the Wirral more than getting the bus through Liverpool

Nothing is setting accessibility back more than that fucking Tesco advert

I will also be standing in the Labour leadership election. I feel my chances are as good as Starmer’s

Am I going to spend ~£90 on a camp shot pro that might take shit pictures just because it looks nice??? Probably yes

Sat grinding my teeth over a woman constantly putting her feet on the seat next to me and the ticket checkers are now speaking to her about it and does this mean I’m going to get some bad karma?

The worst type of nationalists are the ones who insist the British footballers are hot when all of the other nation’s footballers exist

Having a manic moment wanting to go away somewhere and trying to decide if a weekend in the Nîmes region is a good idea when it’s due to be 38c

Channel 4 showing a new series of 24 Hours In A&E that must have been filmed at least 4 years ago based on the stories of the people. I wonder how many series they get out of one production session

As a nation can we please just come up with what the age of majority/adulthood is. It can’t be 16, 17 and 18, we need to pick one and stick with it

I understand people responding to Reform’s racist foreign/dual national policies by saying “but what about Irish/Northern Irish people????” but it makes me sad that people don’t understand Irish citizens aren’t treated as foreign by the UK, and vice versa for Brits in Ireland

Join Bluesky for the most original content and definitely not regurgitated viral Twitter posts for an increasingly elderly audience! (Posted Friday, 342k likes, 7.9m views)

Having a wild Saturday night watching a documentary from 1976 on the drought that year and oh boy I hope they’ve built some reservoirs in England and Wales since then so we don’t have water shortages with our warmer climate

The leader of a British political party seemingly genuinely believing intentionally fracturing a police officer’s spine with a sledgehammer should not result in a custodial sentence is WILD

I’m glad UK banks have introduced the “We’re not calling you. Hang up if someone says we are” alert if you open their app when you’re on the phone But also, remind your friends and family to hang up, look up a contact number *on the org website* and call them if they’re even ever slightly unsure!

Fascinated by the AI ads that are like “Georgia runs a business. But she’s shit at it. Dog shit. Running a business is not for her. Luckily AI can kind of do it. Now Georgia hasn’t been found out. Yet”

Yeah if there’s one thing we know about Northern Ireland, it’s that both sides having guns makes the whole place much safer and less violent

I have a Taskmaster theory, backed up by nothing and probably completely wrong, that the odd numbered series are blessed and the even numbered ones are cursed. And I think that theory is being borne out with the new cast

Why do straight men always imagine themselves as the bottom when they’re doing homophobia?

Labour politicians, always finding some way to disappoint us

As a nerdy homosexual who doesn’t watch children’s dramas, today’s news gives me hope that that show will no longer be pushed on me by the algorithms

I guess I’m just not that surprised there was an attempt at ethnic cleansing in Unionist parts of Northern Ireland

Okay but the Gardaí absolutely do conduct eligibility checks on buses and trains going North to South And the Irish gov got very twitchy about the open border in 2024 when asylum seekers were travelling from NI to ROI and sent more Gardaí to the border

Herein lies the problem of the how the modern British state operates. Codes and guidance are written detached from reality and everyone else is expected to scramble to meet the requirements And when the u-turn comes, everyone is expected to immediately pivot the other way