Carl
@punchsport.report
đ€ 146
đ„ 395
đ 132
Writing about combat sports at the end of the world.
https://www.punchsport.report
read jess that is an order
add a skeleton here at some point
6 days ago
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Our week off is over and our reward for still watching this sport is a Sean Strickland fight and also matchmaking is a lie and the Water Wars are coming.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 172: IN CONTENTION
UFC Fight Night: Strickland vs Hernandez
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-172
6 days ago
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For once a main event is actually good but the UFC beginning its full corporate partnership with Facebook leaves me incapable of feeling joy so instead we're on a mission to break Kyoji Horiguchi out of the Apex.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 171: LOK DOGS & POLISHMEN
UFC Fight Night: Bautista vs Oliveira
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-171
20 days ago
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reposted by
Carl
will_shand
25 days ago
I'm currently streaming and raising money for the National Immigration Law Center!
www.nilc.org
watch here:
twitch.tv/will_shand
<3
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will_shand - Twitch
âCHARITYâ National Immigration Law Center !donate
https://twitch.tv/will_shand
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Everything's terrible and the UFC is responsible for making it all worse and will likely never see justice, but don't worry, they know what America needs right now, and it's another Diego Lopes title match.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 170: BEGIN AGAIN
UFC 325: Volkanovski vs Lopes 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-170
27 days ago
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Is January off to a bad start? Don't worry: The UFC is back and they're prepared to make it even worse.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 169: A NEW DAY IN HELL
UFC 324: Gaethje vs Pimblett
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-169
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Carl
Patrick "Inverted Vibe Curve" Blanchfield
about 2 months ago
they really can just liquidate you in broad daylight with cameras rolling and then blame you for it, which is obvious, and always has been, and yet, and yet, and yet
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Toshinden 3 One Must Fall: 2097 Virtua Fighter 2 Soul Calibur Honorable mention for Tekken 3 but mostly just for Tekken Force
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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We have reached the end of 2025 in the UFC, and it ends where it began: Stuck in the Apex. I try not to rant in these writeups but this week I failed miserably, and I am at peace with that, and most importantly, Joanderson Brito has forgiven me.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 168: DESCENDING INTO THE FUTURE
UFC Fight Night: Royval vs Kape
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-168
3 months ago
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you are obligated to serve the internet still having good things in it by reading whatever jess writes
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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the UFC using their broadcasts to openly talk about how wrestling is boring and if you don't strike you should expect to have no opportunities is bad, but seeing internet MMA folks who've been watching the sport for decades go 'yes, this is good and correct' makes me actually feel insane
3 months ago
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If you're reading this, congratulations: You outlived the UFC pay-per-view era. Your prize is a Merab Dvalishvili fight followed by years of watching the product get even worse. But Brandon Moreno vs Tatsuro Taira will rule.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 167: THE END OF THE ROAD
UFC 323: Dvalishvili vs Yan 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-167
3 months ago
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We talked about MMA fighters of years past and this time I invested in a shock mount so it no longer sounds like the world is coming to an end every time I talk, move or breathe wrong.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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I know we could talk about the corruption of moneyed interests or the logjam of Lightweight matchmaking or the dissolution of meaning, but goddammit, Kyoji Horiguchi is back, and nothing else matters.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 166: WHERE BREAD IS BUTTERED
UFC Fight Night: Tsarukyan vs Hooker
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-166
3 months ago
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We're at the penultimate UFC pay-per-view, and it's actually a very, very good card, and yet, it doesn't feel as good as it should, and we are going to talk about why at extreme length.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 165: MOMENTS IN TIME
UFC 322: Della Maddalena vs Makhachev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-165
3 months ago
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On an exceedingly rare week where politics were more fun than punchsports we're back in the Apex, Raoni Barcelos deserves justice, and now I kind of want Taco Bell.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 164: SHORT PHRASES
UFC Fight Night: Bonfim vs Brown
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-164
4 months ago
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We are back in the Apex. We never left the Apex. The entire sport is the Apex now and we are slowly congealing into a terrible biomass in its basement. Also, I get mad about women being stuck on the prelims for the eighteenth time.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 163: THE BIG COME DOWN
UFC Fight Night: Garcia vs Onama
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-163
4 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
No Escalators
5 months ago
âBabe itâs 1 am why arenât you in bed the children are going to wake up so early tomorrowâ âSorry hun, me and the 157 most brain damaged friends Iâve met online are watching two baseball teams we donât care that much about and the bits have gone on so long we canât turn back nowâ
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ten count will finally get the attention he deserves
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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The UFC's Heavyweight division is a potter's field for dreams and they have no one to blame but themselves. However, Chris Barnett is fighting, so who's to say if MMA is bad or the best thing that ever happened.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 162: STYROFOAM BELTS
UFC 321: Aspinall vs Gane
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-162
4 months ago
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Middleweights. That is all.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 161: NORTHERN EXPOSURE
UFC Fight Night: de Ridder vs Allen
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-161
4 months ago
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I didn't message out last week's card, but I am doing it for this one. Is this because I like Charles Oliveira more than Alex Pereira? Yes. And so should you.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 160: IT MEANS "THE BART, THE"
UFC Fight Night: Oliveira vs Gamrot
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-160
5 months ago
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To a certain extent I think taking my anger at everything out on the UFC is at present a form of therapy, so aside from being an evil organization run by monsters, I'm thankful their cards also just suck shit so often.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 158: PANDERING UPSIDE DOWN
UFC Fight Night: Ulberg vs Reyes
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-158
5 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
Brandon Thurston
6 months ago
NEW: Please don't politicize WrestleMania. WWE delivers shareholder value and normalizes an awe-inspiring dictatorship that pays them extremely wellâall while entertaining you. There's nothing political about that.
www.postwrestling.com/2025/09/12/o...
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Opinion | I hate politics. Thatâs why Iâm going to love WrestleMania in Saudi Arabia.
There's nothing political about WWEâs billion-dollar partnership with a political regime.
https://www.postwrestling.com/2025/09/12/opinion-i-hate-politics-thats-why-im-going-to-love-wrestlemania-in-saudi-arabia/
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take a trip down down UFC bullshit memory lane with
@legkicktko.bsky.social
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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Noche UFC 3 is here, and somehow all the collective gods have failed to let the Earth swallow the UFC for draping itself in the Mexican flag while operating as Trump's front line, so we're stuck with it. Also, I have a small stroke getting mad about women's MMA.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 157: MAYBE WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME
Noche UFC 3: Lopes vs Silva
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-157
6 months ago
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It's UFC Fight Night: Imavov vs Borralho, and we have a multitude of contendership snarls to start figuring out, and a Parisian crowd could get really, really mad, and also Shauna Bannon is here and I do not know why.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 156: SUFFICIENTLY FRENCH
UFC Fight Night: Imavov vs Borralho
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-156
6 months ago
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can't wait for yahoo sports to host their first andrew tate interview, but the good news is it'll be next to an article about the WNBA, thus maintaining journalism's most sacred obligation: evenly balanced reporting
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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boy I sure wonder what MVP's career would have been like if every matchmaker hadn't kept him away from wrestlers whenever at all humanly possible
6 months ago
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It's UFC 319, we are officially in the waning days of the pay-per-view system, I didn't link last week's article because I did not have the heart for it, and now Aaron Pico is here and I don't have lunch ready.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 154: FINALLY GETTING THERE
UFC 319: du Plessis vs Chimaev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-154
7 months ago
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well, I don't have to write a thing about it now, at least
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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UFC main events can change, but nothing can change the Apex.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 152: BACK IN THE PIT
UFC Fight Night: Taira vs Park
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-152
7 months ago
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It's a UFC weekend and Robert Whittaker is fighting and I can't hear him over the din of the pure nihilism overtaking the sport.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 151: PRESSING THE ISSUE
UFC Fight Night: Whittaker vs de Ridder
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-151
7 months ago
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Dustin Poirier is retiring, Max Holloway is fighting, and all I can do is think about the sport this should be.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 150: ROUGH DIAMONDS
UFC 318: Holloway vs Poirier 3
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-150
7 months ago
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Sure, I may have written a lot of stuff about the ongoing collapse of mixed martial arts and how this weekend's fights exemplify it, but on the other hand, one of the fighters involved is very tall.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 149: THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME
UFC Fight Night: Lewis vs Teixeira
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-149
8 months ago
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It's UFC 317, and it's Ilia Topuria's theoretical coronation, and I cannot help feeling a little empty about it.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 148: DESTINY MAY VARY
UFC 317: Topuria vs Oliveira
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-148
8 months ago
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It's time for Kamaru Usman vs Joaquin Buckley. I have reached the point where I have at least one existential crisis a week writing these. It is only June.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 146: OLD BLOOD, NEW BLOOD
UFC Fight Night: Usman vs Buckley
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-146
9 months ago
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One day, there will be nothing left to talk about in the UFC but the bad matchmaking. That day is currently scheduled for next March.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 145: UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE WANT
UFC 316: Dvalishvili vs O'Malley 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-145
9 months ago
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Blanchfield vs Barber is this weekend and the UFC can't actually say if the second fight on the card for top contendership in a women's division is on the main or the prelims, but they can say you can buy new fighter debut patches through Topps. Fuck you, etc.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 144: A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS
UFC Fight Night: Blanchfield vs Barber
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-144
9 months ago
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UFC 315 is this weekend, and it feels like the company is getting as tired of itself as the audience has been.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 142: THE NORTHERN WASTES
UFC 315: Muhammad vs Della Maddalena
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-142
10 months ago
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i think, frequently, about how i spent decades wanting to write about media online but never felt okay putting my work in public, and within months of finally getting my shit together and doing so the entire online industry of written critique collapsed
add a skeleton here at some point
10 months ago
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Somehow, on a card headlined by Cory Sandhagen and Deiveson Figueiredo, I am mostly excited about Reinier de Ridder and Gillian Anderson.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 141: A WEIRD NIGHT ON THE TOWN
UFC Fight Night: Sandhagen vs Figueiredo
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-141
10 months ago
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The intersection of money and expression is now more of a freeway where the cars are constantly running everyone over, and somehow, this makes Ian Machado Garry and Carlos Prates punching each other make sense.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 140: SIGN O' THE TIMES
UFC Fight Night: Machado Garry vs Prates
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-140
10 months ago
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Okay. Let's talk about it.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 139: FORCED ASCENSION
UFC 314: Volkanovski vs Lopes
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-139
11 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
Erik Magraken
11 months ago
Um, hey pro fighters out there - this seems kinda like a big deal So boxing and MMA twitter - This seems kinda like a big deal
combatsportslaw.com/2025/04/09/u...
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âUFC/TKO is requesting an amendment change to the Ali Actâ
Thatâs a scary quote that should be a wake up call to every professional boxer in the United States. In short the Ali Act gives professional boxers protection from exploitative contracts, letâŠ
https://combatsportslaw.com/2025/04/09/ufc-tko-is-requesting-an-amendment-change-to-the-ali-act/
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reposted by
Carl
Tim Onion
11 months ago
Maybe everyone can see it now, but the world's richest people have tanked it all to restock assets and get liquid after years of illegally playing with funny money. They used "the wokeness" as a cudgel and it worked. The next Disney princess WILL be white, as we all eat beans under the highway.
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It's Joanderson Brito/Loma Lookboonmee fight week, and also some other stuff's happening, I guess.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 138: PAYING OUR WAY
UFC Fight Night: Emmett vs Murphy
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-138
11 months ago
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If I keep not linking these I will never do it again, and I gotta stop waiting to not feel like I am fiddling fighting songs while everything is on fire because everything will be on fire for quite some time, so let's watch the Lego man punch a tourism ad.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 137: NO NOCHE
UFC Fight Night: Moreno vs Erceg
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-137
11 months ago
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Even though I've kept writing breakdowns I haven't linked one in a couple weeks because, to be honest, it's really hard to feel like it what with the Everything. But there's a fight I care about, and I want to still be able to care about things.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 134: FINALLY
UFC 313: Pereira vs Ankalaev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-134
12 months ago
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