I wrote the usual essay about the Fiziev/Torres card and I made a terrible photoshop for it and five minutes later I forgot everything about it. Is this because the card is iffy or because I've been getting three hours of sleep a night? We don't have to choose. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

after months of hype the UFC just launched their official, Meta AI-powered rankings, and everything is going great. apropos of nothing I'd like to congratulate Rafa Garcia on winning the Lightweight championship while no one was looking

started to repost the umar nurmagomedov holocaust denial with withering commentary, didn't, and am now uncertain how much of that is exhaustion, how much is a desire not to boost it and how much is no longer feeling like the UFC supporting holocaust denial is notable

I promise that you will never read a better article about the intersection between ring girl outfits and French philosophy in your entire life.

Getting back to normal feels like shit, but it's Kyoji Horiguchi, so those fuckers got me anyway. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The UFC is at the White House and it took me awhile to figure out how to deal with it. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

we're doing a few pieces this week and, as always, jess's will be the best

the canonical mixed martial arts journalist

textbooks need to be written about RGG's creative and promotional choices as a warning to future generations

"FOR TONY SCHIAVONE! FOR TAZ! FOR EXCALIBUR! FIX YOUR HEARTS OR *DIE*!!!!!! *THIS* IS ALL ELITE WRESTLING!!!!!" - @shutupexcalibur.bsky.social #AEWDynamite

We were going to have to start dealing with this month eventually. It is fitting it starts in the Apex with an attempt to erase a Palestinian guy. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

never die

The UFC is in Macau and I think 2/3 of this entire writeup is just complaining about Angela Hill vs Jingnan Xiong being on the prelims. WHY DID YOU EVEN HIRE HER IF YOU WERE GOING TO BOOK HER UNDER CARLSTON HARRIS www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

it really is amazing how our godforsaken half-sport has become a focal point of total planetary alignment for every bad thing we've got going on right now

however many many things I crack on MMA for, boxing never, ever fails to be Boxing

this is probably the most fun I've had talking about MMA in awhile.

for one everyone should read karim whenever possible, but for two, the terrible space this sport is in for this statement to be true and MVP a breath of fresh air i love MMA like no other industry and I would set it on fire if I could

anyone who did not expect that from rousey/carano, i love and envy you

the true point of the b-leagues still existing are these

You know, I have nothing bad to say about Arnold Allen or Melquizael Costa. I am all for both men. So I'm gonna get mad at ranked women being stuck on the prelims under Tuco Tokkos instead. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

you will be paid your post fight bonus in the form of the right to put a 256x256 PNG on your shorts

what a great way for no one to look good in a championship match

bio rex will never know justice

There is no fighter I am more tired of talking about. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

We've reached the point in the UFC's 'hey, foreign governments, pay us for events' initiative that we're finally broadcasting an Australian card on Australia's time and they brought a whole roster of non-Australians coming off losses just to make the most of it. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

When I die, put me in the Apex along with the careers of everyone the UFC only pretends to care about. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

I am so incapable of not focusing on the sociopolitical aspects of combat sports that sometimes it's nice to be reminded that breaking down the mechanics of martial arts is fun.

You know how sometimes you make stuff and you know it's good, and sometimes you know it's just adequate, and sometimes you're just too far beyond caring that it's bad? Anyway Gilbert Burns and Mike Malott are main eventing a UFC and wait where are you going www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Will the Light Heavyweight title finally find parents who love it? This, Cub Swanson's retirement, and my having a conniption over top ranked women being stuck on the fucking prelims again, all at UFC 327. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

it's important to recognize that we operate under a system where it's easier to be mad at democrats than republicans because no one expects the GOP to be anything but corrupt and it lets them get away with everything; it's also important to recognize democratic leadership is fucking useless

In which we reflect on the nature of generational warfare in sports, the minimizing of a fanbase for profit, and relitigating the value of slap bracelets vis-a-vis Lando Vannata. carlcx.substack.com/p/carls-figh...

I'm gonna change my entire life direction and become the world's greatest science fiction author in a venture powered solely and purely by spite

There was a hint of this last year when ESPN had a footnote in their quarterlies about making more money off the UFC deal because PPV sales had fallen so far they no longer had to pay the full term of their contract. Just can't believe a Steve Erceg pay-per-view didn't move the needle.

In a week of toxic media discourse we can be thankful there is nothing at all politically toxic about the UFC, let alone this week's show, where they try as hard as possible to get their most famous active black fighter retired by a white guy who loves cops. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The UFC is in London to try to hype you up for a main event that only exists to stop at least one of its participants from getting what they deserve. Also: Bilingual Heavyweight Blues. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

When I try to cover a sport I've loved for my entire adult life and wind up talking about Lance Henriksen instead do you think that's a good sign www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

well, that's my week made.

UFC 326 is upon us and it's the equivalent of trying to enjoy a wonderful picnic in the middle of a rain except it's raining the dumbest advertising you've ever seen and also the clouds are kind of racist. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The UFC is back in Mexico and man we really hit the they-don't-give-a-fuck arc of the Paramount era faster than I thought. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

read jess that is an order

Our week off is over and our reward for still watching this sport is a Sean Strickland fight and also matchmaking is a lie and the Water Wars are coming. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

For once a main event is actually good but the UFC beginning its full corporate partnership with Facebook leaves me incapable of feeling joy so instead we're on a mission to break Kyoji Horiguchi out of the Apex. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

I'm currently streaming and raising money for the National Immigration Law Center! www.nilc.org watch here: twitch.tv/will_shand <3

Everything's terrible and the UFC is responsible for making it all worse and will likely never see justice, but don't worry, they know what America needs right now, and it's another Diego Lopes title match. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Is January off to a bad start? Don't worry: The UFC is back and they're prepared to make it even worse. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

they really can just liquidate you in broad daylight with cameras rolling and then blame you for it, which is obvious, and always has been, and yet, and yet, and yet

Toshinden 3 One Must Fall: 2097 Virtua Fighter 2 Soul Calibur Honorable mention for Tekken 3 but mostly just for Tekken Force

We have reached the end of 2025 in the UFC, and it ends where it began: Stuck in the Apex. I try not to rant in these writeups but this week I failed miserably, and I am at peace with that, and most importantly, Joanderson Brito has forgiven me. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

you are obligated to serve the internet still having good things in it by reading whatever jess writes