you are obligated to serve the internet still having good things in it by reading whatever jess writes

the UFC using their broadcasts to openly talk about how wrestling is boring and if you don't strike you should expect to have no opportunities is bad, but seeing internet MMA folks who've been watching the sport for decades go 'yes, this is good and correct' makes me actually feel insane

If you're reading this, congratulations: You outlived the UFC pay-per-view era. Your prize is a Merab Dvalishvili fight followed by years of watching the product get even worse. But Brandon Moreno vs Tatsuro Taira will rule. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

We talked about MMA fighters of years past and this time I invested in a shock mount so it no longer sounds like the world is coming to an end every time I talk, move or breathe wrong.

I know we could talk about the corruption of moneyed interests or the logjam of Lightweight matchmaking or the dissolution of meaning, but goddammit, Kyoji Horiguchi is back, and nothing else matters. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

We're at the penultimate UFC pay-per-view, and it's actually a very, very good card, and yet, it doesn't feel as good as it should, and we are going to talk about why at extreme length. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

On an exceedingly rare week where politics were more fun than punchsports we're back in the Apex, Raoni Barcelos deserves justice, and now I kind of want Taco Bell. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

We are back in the Apex. We never left the Apex. The entire sport is the Apex now and we are slowly congealing into a terrible biomass in its basement. Also, I get mad about women being stuck on the prelims for the eighteenth time. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

“Babe it’s 1 am why aren’t you in bed the children are going to wake up so early tomorrow” “Sorry hun, me and the 157 most brain damaged friends I’ve met online are watching two baseball teams we don’t care that much about and the bits have gone on so long we can’t turn back now”

ten count will finally get the attention he deserves

The UFC's Heavyweight division is a potter's field for dreams and they have no one to blame but themselves. However, Chris Barnett is fighting, so who's to say if MMA is bad or the best thing that ever happened. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Middleweights. That is all. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

I didn't message out last week's card, but I am doing it for this one. Is this because I like Charles Oliveira more than Alex Pereira? Yes. And so should you. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

To a certain extent I think taking my anger at everything out on the UFC is at present a form of therapy, so aside from being an evil organization run by monsters, I'm thankful their cards also just suck shit so often. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

NEW: Please don't politicize WrestleMania. WWE delivers shareholder value and normalizes an awe-inspiring dictatorship that pays them extremely well—all while entertaining you. There's nothing political about that. www.postwrestling.com/2025/09/12/o...

take a trip down down UFC bullshit memory lane with @legkicktko.bsky.social

Noche UFC 3 is here, and somehow all the collective gods have failed to let the Earth swallow the UFC for draping itself in the Mexican flag while operating as Trump's front line, so we're stuck with it. Also, I have a small stroke getting mad about women's MMA. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's UFC Fight Night: Imavov vs Borralho, and we have a multitude of contendership snarls to start figuring out, and a Parisian crowd could get really, really mad, and also Shauna Bannon is here and I do not know why. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

can't wait for yahoo sports to host their first andrew tate interview, but the good news is it'll be next to an article about the WNBA, thus maintaining journalism's most sacred obligation: evenly balanced reporting

boy I sure wonder what MVP's career would have been like if every matchmaker hadn't kept him away from wrestlers whenever at all humanly possible

It's UFC 319, we are officially in the waning days of the pay-per-view system, I didn't link last week's article because I did not have the heart for it, and now Aaron Pico is here and I don't have lunch ready. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

well, I don't have to write a thing about it now, at least

UFC main events can change, but nothing can change the Apex. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's a UFC weekend and Robert Whittaker is fighting and I can't hear him over the din of the pure nihilism overtaking the sport. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Dustin Poirier is retiring, Max Holloway is fighting, and all I can do is think about the sport this should be. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Sure, I may have written a lot of stuff about the ongoing collapse of mixed martial arts and how this weekend's fights exemplify it, but on the other hand, one of the fighters involved is very tall. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's UFC 317, and it's Ilia Topuria's theoretical coronation, and I cannot help feeling a little empty about it. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's time for Kamaru Usman vs Joaquin Buckley. I have reached the point where I have at least one existential crisis a week writing these. It is only June. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

One day, there will be nothing left to talk about in the UFC but the bad matchmaking. That day is currently scheduled for next March. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Blanchfield vs Barber is this weekend and the UFC can't actually say if the second fight on the card for top contendership in a women's division is on the main or the prelims, but they can say you can buy new fighter debut patches through Topps. Fuck you, etc. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

UFC 315 is this weekend, and it feels like the company is getting as tired of itself as the audience has been. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

i think, frequently, about how i spent decades wanting to write about media online but never felt okay putting my work in public, and within months of finally getting my shit together and doing so the entire online industry of written critique collapsed

Somehow, on a card headlined by Cory Sandhagen and Deiveson Figueiredo, I am mostly excited about Reinier de Ridder and Gillian Anderson. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The intersection of money and expression is now more of a freeway where the cars are constantly running everyone over, and somehow, this makes Ian Machado Garry and Carlos Prates punching each other make sense. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Okay. Let's talk about it. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Um, hey pro fighters out there - this seems kinda like a big deal So boxing and MMA twitter - This seems kinda like a big deal combatsportslaw.com/2025/04/09/u...

Maybe everyone can see it now, but the world's richest people have tanked it all to restock assets and get liquid after years of illegally playing with funny money. They used "the wokeness" as a cudgel and it worked. The next Disney princess WILL be white, as we all eat beans under the highway.

It's Joanderson Brito/Loma Lookboonmee fight week, and also some other stuff's happening, I guess. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

If I keep not linking these I will never do it again, and I gotta stop waiting to not feel like I am fiddling fighting songs while everything is on fire because everything will be on fire for quite some time, so let's watch the Lego man punch a tourism ad. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Even though I've kept writing breakdowns I haven't linked one in a couple weeks because, to be honest, it's really hard to feel like it what with the Everything. But there's a fight I care about, and I want to still be able to care about things. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

Main card Dylan Budka. Main card, Dylan Budka. Main card: Dylan Budka. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's UFC 312, and the co-main is better than the main but they'll never admit it because women sell less pay-per-views for reasons that have nothing to do with their getting persistently booked under the men. Also, a tall guy named Tall Guy. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It is February, and the same bad shit happening in the world is happening in MMA. But it's all worth it, because Tallison Teixeira is fighting on pay-per-view. www.punchsport.report/p/the-punchs...

What do we do when the entire world is terrible and we need a pause between episodes of making sure everyone is doing as okay as is humanly possible? We complain about mixed martial arts and fights that intentionally don't matter. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The first rule of being a mixed martial arts fan is to never hope. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

It's a good UFC and I am genuinely excited about it except for the inevitable monologue about the need to kill democracy and the women being stuck on the early prelims. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

The poet laureate has returned to grace us.

It's been nice, but vacation is over, the UFC year is beginning, and I am, at last, making peace with the reality of Mackenzie Dern. www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...

This March 7th and 8th, BE TRANS AND THROW HANDS in Seattle at the 3rd annual Queer and Trans Fight Night!!! Muay Thai/Kickboxing and Jiu-jitsu (Gi/NoGi) fights will be on display. Come to fight or to watch. Full details on instagram: www.instagram.com/p/DC8NnwARw2Z/ @queerfightnightseattle