Carl
@punchsport.report
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📥 364
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Writing about combat sports at the end of the world.
https://www.punchsport.report
you are obligated to serve the internet still having good things in it by reading whatever jess writes
add a skeleton here at some point
about 24 hours ago
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the UFC using their broadcasts to openly talk about how wrestling is boring and if you don't strike you should expect to have no opportunities is bad, but seeing internet MMA folks who've been watching the sport for decades go 'yes, this is good and correct' makes me actually feel insane
about 24 hours ago
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If you're reading this, congratulations: You outlived the UFC pay-per-view era. Your prize is a Merab Dvalishvili fight followed by years of watching the product get even worse. But Brandon Moreno vs Tatsuro Taira will rule.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 167: THE END OF THE ROAD
UFC 323: Dvalishvili vs Yan 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-167
4 days ago
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We talked about MMA fighters of years past and this time I invested in a shock mount so it no longer sounds like the world is coming to an end every time I talk, move or breathe wrong.
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
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I know we could talk about the corruption of moneyed interests or the logjam of Lightweight matchmaking or the dissolution of meaning, but goddammit, Kyoji Horiguchi is back, and nothing else matters.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 166: WHERE BREAD IS BUTTERED
UFC Fight Night: Tsarukyan vs Hooker
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-166
18 days ago
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We're at the penultimate UFC pay-per-view, and it's actually a very, very good card, and yet, it doesn't feel as good as it should, and we are going to talk about why at extreme length.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 165: MOMENTS IN TIME
UFC 322: Della Maddalena vs Makhachev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-165
25 days ago
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On an exceedingly rare week where politics were more fun than punchsports we're back in the Apex, Raoni Barcelos deserves justice, and now I kind of want Taco Bell.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 164: SHORT PHRASES
UFC Fight Night: Bonfim vs Brown
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-164
about 1 month ago
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We are back in the Apex. We never left the Apex. The entire sport is the Apex now and we are slowly congealing into a terrible biomass in its basement. Also, I get mad about women being stuck on the prelims for the eighteenth time.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 163: THE BIG COME DOWN
UFC Fight Night: Garcia vs Onama
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-163
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Carl
No Escalators
about 2 months ago
“Babe it’s 1 am why aren’t you in bed the children are going to wake up so early tomorrow” “Sorry hun, me and the 157 most brain damaged friends I’ve met online are watching two baseball teams we don’t care that much about and the bits have gone on so long we can’t turn back now”
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ten count will finally get the attention he deserves
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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The UFC's Heavyweight division is a potter's field for dreams and they have no one to blame but themselves. However, Chris Barnett is fighting, so who's to say if MMA is bad or the best thing that ever happened.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 162: STYROFOAM BELTS
UFC 321: Aspinall vs Gane
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-162
about 2 months ago
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Middleweights. That is all.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 161: NORTHERN EXPOSURE
UFC Fight Night: de Ridder vs Allen
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-161
about 2 months ago
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I didn't message out last week's card, but I am doing it for this one. Is this because I like Charles Oliveira more than Alex Pereira? Yes. And so should you.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 160: IT MEANS "THE BART, THE"
UFC Fight Night: Oliveira vs Gamrot
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-160
2 months ago
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To a certain extent I think taking my anger at everything out on the UFC is at present a form of therapy, so aside from being an evil organization run by monsters, I'm thankful their cards also just suck shit so often.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 158: PANDERING UPSIDE DOWN
UFC Fight Night: Ulberg vs Reyes
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-158
2 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
Brandon Thurston
3 months ago
NEW: Please don't politicize WrestleMania. WWE delivers shareholder value and normalizes an awe-inspiring dictatorship that pays them extremely well—all while entertaining you. There's nothing political about that.
www.postwrestling.com/2025/09/12/o...
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Opinion | I hate politics. That’s why I’m going to love WrestleMania in Saudi Arabia.
There's nothing political about WWE’s billion-dollar partnership with a political regime.
https://www.postwrestling.com/2025/09/12/opinion-i-hate-politics-thats-why-im-going-to-love-wrestlemania-in-saudi-arabia/
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take a trip down down UFC bullshit memory lane with
@legkicktko.bsky.social
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Noche UFC 3 is here, and somehow all the collective gods have failed to let the Earth swallow the UFC for draping itself in the Mexican flag while operating as Trump's front line, so we're stuck with it. Also, I have a small stroke getting mad about women's MMA.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 157: MAYBE WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME
Noche UFC 3: Lopes vs Silva
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-157
3 months ago
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It's UFC Fight Night: Imavov vs Borralho, and we have a multitude of contendership snarls to start figuring out, and a Parisian crowd could get really, really mad, and also Shauna Bannon is here and I do not know why.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 156: SUFFICIENTLY FRENCH
UFC Fight Night: Imavov vs Borralho
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-156
3 months ago
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can't wait for yahoo sports to host their first andrew tate interview, but the good news is it'll be next to an article about the WNBA, thus maintaining journalism's most sacred obligation: evenly balanced reporting
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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boy I sure wonder what MVP's career would have been like if every matchmaker hadn't kept him away from wrestlers whenever at all humanly possible
4 months ago
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It's UFC 319, we are officially in the waning days of the pay-per-view system, I didn't link last week's article because I did not have the heart for it, and now Aaron Pico is here and I don't have lunch ready.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 154: FINALLY GETTING THERE
UFC 319: du Plessis vs Chimaev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-154
4 months ago
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well, I don't have to write a thing about it now, at least
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
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UFC main events can change, but nothing can change the Apex.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 152: BACK IN THE PIT
UFC Fight Night: Taira vs Park
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-152
4 months ago
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It's a UFC weekend and Robert Whittaker is fighting and I can't hear him over the din of the pure nihilism overtaking the sport.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 151: PRESSING THE ISSUE
UFC Fight Night: Whittaker vs de Ridder
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-151
5 months ago
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Dustin Poirier is retiring, Max Holloway is fighting, and all I can do is think about the sport this should be.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 150: ROUGH DIAMONDS
UFC 318: Holloway vs Poirier 3
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-150
5 months ago
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Sure, I may have written a lot of stuff about the ongoing collapse of mixed martial arts and how this weekend's fights exemplify it, but on the other hand, one of the fighters involved is very tall.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 149: THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME
UFC Fight Night: Lewis vs Teixeira
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-149
5 months ago
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It's UFC 317, and it's Ilia Topuria's theoretical coronation, and I cannot help feeling a little empty about it.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 148: DESTINY MAY VARY
UFC 317: Topuria vs Oliveira
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-148
6 months ago
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It's time for Kamaru Usman vs Joaquin Buckley. I have reached the point where I have at least one existential crisis a week writing these. It is only June.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 146: OLD BLOOD, NEW BLOOD
UFC Fight Night: Usman vs Buckley
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-146
6 months ago
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One day, there will be nothing left to talk about in the UFC but the bad matchmaking. That day is currently scheduled for next March.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 145: UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE WANT
UFC 316: Dvalishvili vs O'Malley 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-145
6 months ago
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Blanchfield vs Barber is this weekend and the UFC can't actually say if the second fight on the card for top contendership in a women's division is on the main or the prelims, but they can say you can buy new fighter debut patches through Topps. Fuck you, etc.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 144: A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS
UFC Fight Night: Blanchfield vs Barber
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-144
6 months ago
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UFC 315 is this weekend, and it feels like the company is getting as tired of itself as the audience has been.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 142: THE NORTHERN WASTES
UFC 315: Muhammad vs Della Maddalena
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-142
7 months ago
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i think, frequently, about how i spent decades wanting to write about media online but never felt okay putting my work in public, and within months of finally getting my shit together and doing so the entire online industry of written critique collapsed
add a skeleton here at some point
7 months ago
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Somehow, on a card headlined by Cory Sandhagen and Deiveson Figueiredo, I am mostly excited about Reinier de Ridder and Gillian Anderson.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 141: A WEIRD NIGHT ON THE TOWN
UFC Fight Night: Sandhagen vs Figueiredo
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-141
7 months ago
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The intersection of money and expression is now more of a freeway where the cars are constantly running everyone over, and somehow, this makes Ian Machado Garry and Carlos Prates punching each other make sense.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 140: SIGN O' THE TIMES
UFC Fight Night: Machado Garry vs Prates
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-140
8 months ago
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Okay. Let's talk about it.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 139: FORCED ASCENSION
UFC 314: Volkanovski vs Lopes
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-139
8 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
Erik Magraken
8 months ago
Um, hey pro fighters out there - this seems kinda like a big deal So boxing and MMA twitter - This seems kinda like a big deal
combatsportslaw.com/2025/04/09/u...
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“UFC/TKO is requesting an amendment change to the Ali Act”
That’s a scary quote that should be a wake up call to every professional boxer in the United States. In short the Ali Act gives professional boxers protection from exploitative contracts, let…
https://combatsportslaw.com/2025/04/09/ufc-tko-is-requesting-an-amendment-change-to-the-ali-act/
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reposted by
Carl
Tim Onion
8 months ago
Maybe everyone can see it now, but the world's richest people have tanked it all to restock assets and get liquid after years of illegally playing with funny money. They used "the wokeness" as a cudgel and it worked. The next Disney princess WILL be white, as we all eat beans under the highway.
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It's Joanderson Brito/Loma Lookboonmee fight week, and also some other stuff's happening, I guess.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 138: PAYING OUR WAY
UFC Fight Night: Emmett vs Murphy
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-138
8 months ago
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If I keep not linking these I will never do it again, and I gotta stop waiting to not feel like I am fiddling fighting songs while everything is on fire because everything will be on fire for quite some time, so let's watch the Lego man punch a tourism ad.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 137: NO NOCHE
UFC Fight Night: Moreno vs Erceg
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-137
9 months ago
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Even though I've kept writing breakdowns I haven't linked one in a couple weeks because, to be honest, it's really hard to feel like it what with the Everything. But there's a fight I care about, and I want to still be able to care about things.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 134: FINALLY
UFC 313: Pereira vs Ankalaev
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-134
9 months ago
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Main card Dylan Budka. Main card, Dylan Budka. Main card: Dylan Budka.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 131: PLAYING DARTS
UFC Fight Night: Cannonier vs Rodrigues
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-131
10 months ago
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It's UFC 312, and the co-main is better than the main but they'll never admit it because women sell less pay-per-views for reasons that have nothing to do with their getting persistently booked under the men. Also, a tall guy named Tall Guy.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 130: INTO THE VOID
UFC 312: du Plessis vs Strickland 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-130
10 months ago
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It is February, and the same bad shit happening in the world is happening in MMA. But it's all worth it, because Tallison Teixeira is fighting on pay-per-view.
www.punchsport.report/p/the-punchs...
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THE PUNCHSPORT REPORT FOR FEBRUARY 2025
We reflect on a dead organization, a fake draft, and a nazi.
https://www.punchsport.report/p/the-punchsport-report-for-february-251
10 months ago
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What do we do when the entire world is terrible and we need a pause between episodes of making sure everyone is doing as okay as is humanly possible? We complain about mixed martial arts and fights that intentionally don't matter.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 129: DESCENDING THE STAIRS
UFC Fight Night: Adesanya vs Imavov
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-129
10 months ago
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The first rule of being a mixed martial arts fan is to never hope.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 128-2, SUPPLEMENTAL: GOD DAMN IT
UFC 311: Makhachev vs Moicano
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-128-2fa
11 months ago
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It's a good UFC and I am genuinely excited about it except for the inevitable monologue about the need to kill democracy and the women being stuck on the early prelims.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 128: THE GOOD STUFF
UFC 311: Makhachev vs Tsarukyan 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-128
11 months ago
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The poet laureate has returned to grace us.
add a skeleton here at some point
11 months ago
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It's been nice, but vacation is over, the UFC year is beginning, and I am, at last, making peace with the reality of Mackenzie Dern.
www.punchsport.report/p/carls-figh...
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 127: BACK TO THE GRIND
UFC Fight Night: Dern vs Ribas 2
https://www.punchsport.report/p/carls-fight-breakdowns-episode-127
11 months ago
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reposted by
Carl
Sweet Science, Savage Art
12 months ago
This March 7th and 8th, BE TRANS AND THROW HANDS in Seattle at the 3rd annual Queer and Trans Fight Night!!! Muay Thai/Kickboxing and Jiu-jitsu (Gi/NoGi) fights will be on display. Come to fight or to watch. Full details on instagram:
www.instagram.com/p/DC8NnwARw2Z/
@queerfightnightseattle
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