Got a lovely new 25 plate courtesy Nissan Juke whilst my car is being repaired. Just noticed that the wind has blown some of my fence slats off on to it. Fully, fully FULLY can't be arsed to go out and inspect for any damage, so - cheers bishes

Old guy reversed into me after I had already reversed out. He admitted liability to me there and then and was pleasant about it all. Lo and behold my insurance called him and he's now not accepting liability. 🙄 Some twats out there.

Thank god for the internet or I wouldn't have been able to find out at 4am last night when I couldn't get back to sleep, what Captain Haddock is called in French. Le Capitaine Haddock, if you were wondering

I'm going in on this beauty

lowkey vibing with all the cool zoomers and feeling this aesthetic fr fr Or something

I know it used to be 'cool' to hate on Kula Shaker back in the 90's. The music journalists made that very easy with the hit-pieces on the band. There aren't many bands, if any, that are putting out music saying Fuck War. youtu.be/6g-USZokbsU?...

In Aldi just now and a woman came storming up to her Mum shouting: 'I told yer we should have fucking gone to Morrisons this is why I don't buy my food from here everything is fucking disgusting have you seen the state of the fucking bananas everything's fucking vile' 😂 I couldn't hide my laughter

Tonight 10pm (uk) #ThisLife ❤️ #30thAnniversary #BBCFOUR 📺

Fuck me. I've never missed Rik Mayall more.

Definitely not a fan of AI, but thank heck for ChatGPT for helping me in identifying my fire alarm model and then instructions for how to disconnect it from the mains, and then the ceiling, after it decided an hour ago was the best time reach end of life and start beeping every 40 seconds 🙄

Off to Mum's grave. Just found this bunch where they have accidentally doubled up the flowers on it. 😍 She loved a bargain so very apt. 😂 Give your Mum's a hug or a call if you can 🧡

Needing light-hearted/funny podcasts/radio shows/dramas to help me through decorating this weekend. Any recommendations please?

Been decogayting all evening

Jeremy Vine reminds me more and more of Alan Partridge every time I stumble across his Radio 2 show.

In the supermarket and overheard a lad that can be no older than 8 or 9, telling his Mum to 'not be daft cos why would his dad buy that brush if it's pink? He's not a fucking queer'. The Mum and Dad laughed. So disheartening, and annoying that absolute twats like that are raising kids.

Krispy Cremm or Krispy Cream

You, in another decade 20+ years ago. Don't even recognise myself lol

A man before midnight would be appreciated these days. Tbh a man for 10 mins at any time of the day would suffice.

Best compo face. Just walked straight into a bollock-high post at gay speed, went straight over it and done my left wrist in. Slightly concerned that 10 minutes later my dick is slightly numb. Waahhh. Get well soon cards appreciated.

I don't know what the fuck is happening anymore when we have actual MP's who are supposedly on the 'good side' sharing AI generated shit. ACTUAL MP's. If you share fake AI shit I don't care what side you're on, you should be held accountable.

Sun is *properly* out in Sheffield for pretty much the first time this year. Loving it. Also, the first wasp of the year decides to appear in my bedroom. Absolutely not loving it.

See this is why I get annoyed with diet books. How is this supposed to be a meal for an adult human being?! 2 mushrooms with a bit of cheese and a miniscule amount of salad leaves. I'd inhale this within 30 seconds. Grrr.

The amount of potholes on the roads right now is insane. Car garages must be making a fortune due to the damage repair.

One thing BlueSky needs to learn from Twitter of old, is if somebody just RT's post after post, then not to show every RT, in followers feeds. Just show us one or two. If you're that person RT'ing everything, be aware that you're fully clogging up everybody's feeds.

Apologies if your timeline has just been spammed repeatedly with me mincing about in a video. BlueSky gremlins at it again, probably trying to save you all from the video.

2 Bears - Not This Time is still an absolute belter 🕺🎉 (Trigger warning: old man dancing and singing)

Tiny bathroom and having to close the door to paint it means I'm a lil bit off my tits

Just watched the latest series of Things You Should Have Done, and it's become one of my favourite comedies. Most original and utterly over the top series since Nighty Night and Might Boosh. It's so stupid and I LOVE it

Spending my Sunday evening reading up on Joan & Jericha's advice on how to get a man and chuckling my tits off

Think I'm gonna buy a silly amount of amaryllis bulbs for next year cos they're absolutely fabulous

It's been 84 years

A few more beauts in bloom 😍

5 o'clock and it's still light 😍 We're on the final stretch to spring and summer

Not me getting emotional (again) about snowboarding at the Olympics. That run from Charlotte Bankes was immense. 💪💪 Our first EVER gold medal on snow is a pretty wild stat.

Masochism before bed

Saw a house with their Christmas tree still up and lit up as I was driving home tonight. Absolutely none of my business, I know, but I wanted to stop and knock on their door and ask them what the actual heck do they think they are playing at. 😂

Finally worked out who Gawdland reminds me of #DragRace

I am apparently emotionally invested in the women's big air snowboarding that is happening right now, due to how happy choked up and teary I've just got for the winner. #WinterOlympics

everything is terrible so here’s the swedish chef doing rapper’s delight

It's nearly Bianca's time #WinterOlympics

Emergency tooth extraction earlier. I'm in pain and can't eat, so I'm grumpy as heck. Grrr. Gonna watch the Winter Olympics opening ceremony on BBC2 at 6:30 and maybe catch a glimpse of ski-jumpers injecting their todgers.

I think it's about time we all stopped pretending that wholemeal bread is tasty, tbh. Especially toasted.

😂😂 brilliant misheard lyrics / play on words

Massive Happy Birthday to the bestest foul-mouthed lady I know. 🎂🥳 Hope you've had a great day @robsoncarol.bsky.social 🧡

Awwww

Just accidentally kinda shouted 'HOW MUCH' in shocked Northerner response to the Post Office guy telling me how much I owed him for a book of 8 1st class stamps. £13.60!! I swear they cost like 5 quid a few years ago. 😤😤

Changed my washing powder (unwillingly) from Aldi Non-Bio to Persil Non-Bio, and OMFG I CANNOT stop itching all over. Lesson: Stay cheap, Joseph.

Gays - please ignore this headline and move along.

I must not drunk order He-Man figures on credit card. I must not drunk order He-Man figures on credit card.

So so SOOOOO deserved. TV doesn't get any better than that. #TheTraitors