Also this man 😮‍💨

Zack Polanski just liked my post. Stop digging, Zack, you’ve already hit oil. You’ve got my vote.

So I’m not often sad about not being in a relationship really, but I really love giving presents, and spoiling a person on their birthday or Christmas etc. I keep a list all year and it gives me so much joy. I guess I just need to buy more stuff for myself.

This man 🫠

I’m not sure I had Deborah Meaden coming out in favour of Zack Polanski on my 2025 bingo card, but honestly I’m very here for it.

Skibidi toilet, fellow kids

Literally desperate to buy things to make myself feel alive but the shops here are so shit I can’t actually manage it.

I have just signed up to the Liverpool half marathon. ☠️

Small but not insignificant chance I might be getting a cat

Here is a doodle of you as a birthday present

The way people talk about People’s Sexiest Man of the Year award like it’s a fucking Nobel prize will never cease to amaze me.

Changing my profile on Grindr to say it’s my birthday for the attention is normal behaviour, is it not?

It’s my birthday, treat me nice

Very much in love with the new Robyn

Sat on the bus and the little screen at the front is rotating through all the cctv cameras on the bus and it just cut to a young man on the top floor in boxers pulling on their trousers 🙃

I just want the kind of tits that Turkish men massage on instagram

I’ve had a really shitty day and I plan to get Tuesday red wine drunk

Did a very wet, very dark, very cold run. Please clap!

Tiddy day! hevy.com/workout/dSJ9...

You’ve got to appreciate that someone brought their cuffs from home to the cable stack. They must be gutted they forgot them.

Interviewer to Margaret Atwood: ‘do you enjoy holding a grudge? MA: ‘I’m a Scorpio, I don’t have any choice. I struggle against it… but not very hard’

Appropriate

My most millennial trait is pocket dialing people constantly

Ok but fr the low lighting in my friend’s bathroom is doing me many favours

I have signed up to a meal prep service in the hope that it will provide me with consistency in my nutrition that has been falling by the wayside since I started with my job. I would *really* like my muscles to start growing again.

Don’t tell @philford.bsky.social but I just fucked someone until they came hands-free.

Oh so K-pop demon hunters is Josie and the Pussycats crossed with Buffy

Oldest selfie on my phone Circa 2015

Finally playing around with my new phone camera 🤭

Back on my bullshit 🫶🏻

My birthday present to myself has arrived and now I need to see whether I have the self control to not open it until Thursday.

CupcakKe on repeat to help me get through this morning’s Bulgarian split squats

Jesus the fireworks in Liverpool are out of control. This is my first bonfire night back here and it’s absolutely wild.

Well I’ve got date number two with sexy giant so I guess I’m winning at life.

I may have also bought a new Apple Watch, but who’s counting?

I may have gone mad and ordered myself some ludicrously expensive running kit ahead of my birthday.

I’m still sick. I think I’m going to have to sit the gym out for another day which sucks.

Very worth getting over my anxiety. I had a great time 🥹

Preparing to go to a Halloween party on my own with a bunch of strangers, dressed like a slut, which is making me so nervous. I wish I wasn’t also fighting for my life against this cold.

know I’m 40 yrs late, but figured out why yall like sleep away camp so much last night

As far as I’m concerned the next public holiday is my birthday and then New Year.

Yeah Heidi Klum’s Medusa outfit was cool but nothing is going to beat the year she turned up with an army of clones

Ordered the one on the left and somehow inpost magically turned it into the one on the right.

Did an interview with a girl yesterday and she shook my hand and said ‘I love you’ on the way out. She panicked and walked to the door and said to my colleague: ‘enjoy the rest of your shit’

I’m a bit sick today and it’s raining, but I really want to do Parkrun. What should I do?

Half-assed a Halloween costume for tomorrow. I am a camp counsellor for camp Arowak (Sleepaway Camp)

Fuck it. Happy Halloween 🎃 #fcf

Last day in work before a literal full and complete weekend off. I am so fucking excited.

Happy halloween faggots 💖 💀 👻

My regular hookup and I have been struggling to find time together. He just turned up on my doorstep to make out with me and then left. 🥰