By the time Keir Starmer became an MP, Andy Burnham had already been in government for ten years

Shares in black t shirts have gone through the roof.

Hear me out now - wouldn’t it be easier for everyone if we just leave Andy Burnham in place, and make Manchester the capital of the UK.

It’s the Summer Solstice. The nights are drawing in.

Reform have now lost six by-elections in a row in England, Scotland and Wales. Their national poll rating is 26% – below Labour in 1983 – and Farage’s approval rating is -37. They’re very far from the voice of the people and need to stop being treated as such.

Today I shall be stopping for a hydration break every 22 minutes

The countries that do well at @Eurovision seem to be those that marshall their loyal patriots to vote. The solution is simple. Next year we should send Tommy Robinson.

Dear Donald Trump. I hear that the Daily Mail has revealed that you and King Charles are distant cousins, and you have said that you would like to move in to Buckingham Palace. We have a much more suitable place to offer you. We call it The Tower of London.

One - two - three - four I declare a thumb war!

On this, Shakespeare’s birthday, don’t forget that the Bard was actually born in Turkey, never set foot in England and never slayed an actual dragon.

She’s come a long way since she worked with Spit the Dog.

Good luck to the crew of Artemis 2, who are getting ready to return to earth. If ever I’ve been away for ten days I find I can’t get all my stuff back into the suitcase it came out of.

If Trump goes ahead with his appalling threat a whole civilisation will indeed die tonight - but it won’t be Iran.

England’s second city – as every Mancunian knows – is London.

“So, what was the far side of the moon like?” “It was indescribable.” “You had one job….”

When the astronauts go behind the dark side of the moon - EVERYBODY HIDE! 🌚

Wishing a very happy Chrism Mass to all my Anglican friends.

Don’t forget that the hour that you borrowed last October has to be paid back double tonight.

We will know there has been a Revival when we see a Quiet increase in love, gentleness and generosity.

All credit to the @BBC for live broadcasting the installation of @ArchbishopSarah yesterday, even though it will have cost a fortune and lost audience. Remember this if you are tempted to accuse the BBC of being biased against religion.

In a nod to her origins as a nurse, the new Archbishop will walk up the aisle at Canterbury Cathedral on Wednesday in a hospital gown with a slit up the back.

I was caught breaking into a crème brǔlée and ended up in a custardy sweet.

Donald Trump has called on Keir Starmer to send Hannah the Plumber to help unblock the Straits of Hormuz.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who procreate.

Recently, I was asked to contribute an essay on one of challenges facing Sarah Mullally, as she begins her term as Archbishop of Canterbury. My chapter is entitled ‘Falling Among Thieves: Understanding and Responding to Church-related abuse’ .

I am a voter in Gorton and Denton. Over the past few weeks I have got to know Angeliki Stogia, the Labour candidate. I believe she is a person of really good character, energy and experience, and that matters a lot. I hope she is elected as our Member of Parliament.

The BBC is reporting that Stephen Conway, the Bishop of Lincoln, has been arrested on suspicion of sexual assault of a man between 2018 and 2025.

If you are a member of General Synod I hope you will join me at this lunchtime fringe meeting. 1pm in The Temple Room.

The Winter Olympics should have the same sports as the Summer Olympics, but on ice. I’d like to see long jump, shot put and dressage on ice.

I’m a constituent of Gorton and Denton constituency, and I will be backing Andy Burnham to be our MP.

Has anyone noticed how the Bermuda Triangle seems to have disappeared?

Trump’s Bored of Peace

They’re hoping for a Gen Three penguin.

GAFCON leaders take their players off the pitch after failing to get the result they wanted. No, wait….not GAFCON…AFCON.

Happy Fishing Shop Owners’ Day to all who sell a bait.

Happy Lab Technicians Day to all who calibrate.

Remember, a hippopotamus is for life, not just for Christmas.

Last one to take their paper hat off wins!

Donald Trump was robbed #BBCSportsPersonality

Understandably there has been a lot of attention recently on the abuse of men in the church. But it’s important to be aware that at least as many women and girls are victims of abuse in church contexts.

For some reason there has been a rush on my book Bleeding for Jesus, and Amazon is temporarily out of stock. That should be put right in 24 hours. In the meantime you can get it direct from the publisher at www.tinyurl.com/bleeding4jesus.

I was privileged to appear on The Sacred Podcast @sacred_podcast this week. Always a great listen. It’s unusual because as well as asking ‘What do you do?’ Elizabeth Oldfield asks ‘Why do you do it?’ podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

My book Bleeding for Jesus: John Smyth and the Cult of Iwerne Camps: The Scandal That Shook the Church of England is now available at www.tinyurl.com/bleeding4Jesus. It probably wouldn’t make a good Christmas present!

My book Bleeding for Jesus: John Smyth and the Cult of Iwerne Camps: The Scandal That Shook the Church of England is now available at www.tinyurl.com/bleeding4Jesus. It probably wouldn’t make a good Christmas present!

You can find the full story behind the Channel 4 documentaries See No Evil in the revised and updated edition of my book Bleeding for Jesus. tinyurl.com/bleeding4Jesus

Raise a glass to William Nye. As General-Secretary to the General Synod and the Archbishops’ Council, he has been running the Church of England for exactly 10 years today. The bishops are privileged to have such a man to defend their power and privilege against the little people.

Just dropped a packet of Cheese and Onion and accidentally trod it into the carpet. It’s beginning to look a lot like crisp mush.

In this expanded and revised new edition, respected journalist and broadcaster Andrew Graystone tells the true story of John Smyth QC, a high-flying barrister who exploited his role in the church to abuse more than a hundred men and boys. 🔗 Click the link in the bio to find out more. #JohnSmyth

If the UK government turned against people like you, and it was no longer safe for you to live here, what country would you go to, and how would you get there?

On the anniversary of the publication of The Makin Review, @dltbooks.bsky.social has published an extract from my new book about the John Smyth disaster.