Thank you “Going to Port Washington” by @themountaingoats.bsky.social for being the only song that consistently gets my 3 month old baby to stop crying mid meltdown. If the mountain goats ever release a kids album, we will buy the first copy. She’s a fan already!

I think I’m mostly a good mother so far except that I call my baby by my cat’s name at least once a day

So much of pregnancy is like listen to your body and it’s like, girl what if the body has an anxiety disorder

a wedding influencer I hated while I was getting married is now a baby influencer I hate while I’m pregnant, the circle of life

Rob Reiner is so much more than just a director, but I am struck at his ability to be so versatile during that great span of movies he made. Rather than dwell on the constant, horrible conversations, I want to celebrate someone who I hope will be remembered as an artist for real human emotions 🧵

They should invent a proton pump inhibitor that works

people on threads complaining the parade broadcast has too many commercials. girl you are watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBCUniversal Comcast Peacock, where all the floats have always been “United healthcare’s sugar plum fairies” with a lip synced performance by rick astley’s nephew

feel like I’m turning into the dead cockroach I saw in the Costco parking lot the other day. Very Costcoesque.

I’m hearing reports Bluesky is back

I got a minor brain injury that prevents me from spending too much time on internet right around the same time that everyone started switching to bluesky, what’s the vibe over here these days?

Hey just wanted to let you know your order is ready on the counter at blue bottle

all the swifties are learning about football and buying travis kelce jerseys, I took things a step further by getting an actual concussion

they should invent a smoothie that is salty (don’t say soup)

the new sign for a woman in crisis isn’t getting bangs it’s have 6 different Notes app notes about how to start a morning routine

Red-pilled, blue-pilled, nah son I’m lactaid-pilled

When it’s time to do the wave at a sporting event

MFA Twigs

Party’s over (my husband got a bluesky invite)

“Girl dinner” this, “girl dinner” that. What about “marketer lunch” ?

Yet another app for me to threaten to start a newsletter on