Friend: we're at a PD day today. Here's the view from where I'm seated. Me: wow that looks really familiar Me: Me: Me: Me: is that my fucking living room anyway she is literally looking at the exterior of my apartment

Too many Willem dafoes in the world. Where can I find me a willem dafriend 😞

The autistic inability to differentiate between anxiety, illness, stomach upset, gas, nausea, and heat stroke

Happy Earth Day.

Sherlock: (demanding puzzle time) Sherlock: (finished puzzle time) Sherlock: (being cute suspiciously near a large box of packing paper) Me: (folds down one flap) Sherlock: (top volume purring as she squirms into the packing paper)

🚨 www.msn.com/en-ca/news/w... 🚨 bury me with my favourite trash

belatedly realizing the cleaner might think two people live here because I have pillow type A (cooling, shape 1, silk/satin case for skin and hair) and Sherlock has pillow type B (memory foam, shape 2, pillow case that matches sheets). Me and my bed-mate (Sherlock and Watson in a trench coat)

Earlier I planned to make this soup recipe I found when I got home but I was so tired today I tried to order something that doesn’t exist at machi machi and just. I’m gonna lay here. On the couch.

I am begging americans to understand that what you call canadian bacon is just ham, and canadian bacon is peameal bacon

I sit in a cubicle in another area at work and yesterday and today there's been a construction crew in here being very loud, doing mysterious things. It turns out they ripped out the reception desk and are installing more cubicles. (boooo)

Jokers are wild... 🃏 Game Changer Season 8 premieres May 18th only on Dropout.

Finally felt improved enough (but still sore and achey) to go for RMT and it is amazing what an hour on the table can do. My range of motion? RESTORED. my pain levels? REDUCED.

I built a cart of a 3d printer and filament etc and now all my algorithmic content is 3d printing. I can’t afford it yet!! But I really want one!!!!

I've been exhausted and irritable all day with a low grade headache and an unhappy stomach and oh hi my period is here early (yes one of the pills I forgot to take yesterday was birth control)

Hearing an audio recording of myself like wow I sound congested on that but I don’t FEEL congested? Am I getting sick just as my back gets mostly better or are my allergies just like that

I found a group of streamers who recorded a bunch of very good REPO runs to youtube but unfortunately it turns out this was a detour and they actually all just play Minecraft, which I do not care about. :(

Mere: have you tried setting that feeder puzzle into hard mode? (explains) Me: ! No! And Sherlock always solves it so fast! Me: I regret to inform you that hard mode means nothing to Sherlock and she solved it instantly Mere: checks out

I miss when loblaws used to sell little cubes of chocolate-covered cheesecake for you to keep in your freezer

I'm still cracking up at all the celebrities who tried so hard to sell us NFTs and crypto. Like, we know they aren't organically finding a product they genuinely think is good or necessary. They're all v bad at pretending they're not a paid shill! The faux feminism is a gross angle for sure, though.

Been trying to figure out why I've had heartburn all day for the first time in like three years. Go to take my evening meds. Realize half my morning meds are still in the pill container. Oops.

Me: I would like a small bag of Parmesan rinds if the cheese counter has them. If not, refund the item please. Instacart man: three tubs of Parmesan petals for $19, got it ????? No????

Today was double tech appointment day (both cats have vet tech appointments at the same time). Watson recently switched to a half dose of gabapentin instead of a full dose so I also gave Sherlock a half dose.

Jackbox: you can now claim _________ on your taxes as dependents Me: lazy coworkers Becca: I knew it was you as soon as I saw it

do doctors want to tell my bosses to let me work from home and hire more people? and pay me more? because those would really reduce my stress

First 98% of & Juliet: perhaps the best musical I've seen in YEARS Last 2% of & Juliet: ah they fucked it all up for no reason

Because of this stupid back injury I’ve been taking Watson for fluids in his stroller instead of his backpack (I can’t lift shit right now) and it has several interesting effects.

Yeah, Mackenzie Scott is a fascinating case. She is literally ignoring the SOPs of philanthropy in order to give away wealth as quickly and efficiently as possible and she’s still getting richer. At her level it is impossible not to make money. Tax billionaires, A LOT.

The autistic pain of asking two yes or no questions and getting unrelated paragraphs back. I have started shouting VRAI OU FAUX at my monitor

it is the perfect temperature outside; balmy but cool with those early evening dark skies and I bought a half-tub of chocolate orange ice cream at summer's in yorkville and it was perfect

Last year I helped nominate some people for an award on (project Y). I also did a LOT of work on project Y but these two led the project. Coworker on my team was big mad that he and I didn’t also win.

Look, with aphantasia the idea of glasses that recognize my CONTACTS only and tell me if it’s their birthday or something is outstanding. It never occurred to me that they would recognize strangers. That’s insane??? What man came up with that pervert tech?

I normally vote by mail but this year I didn’t receive a mail in ballot OR a voter card! Luckily I was registered so I just showed up with the drivers license but man. My poll is weirdly FAR.

this is one of my favorite Deaf stories. humans are extraordinary creatures, each of us with gifts no one else possesses. we don't value our differences enough, celebrate our singular strengths enough. the Gaulledett Eleven could handle their shit better than the brawniest man's man astronaut.

Watson made friends with a Korean woman on the subway and is bereft that she has left

it'd be great if you could get off Substack

Love it when the TTC streetcar driver looks right at me standing at a clearly labelled stop and just blows past me without even trying the breaks

Female lead: omg they have bear skins with actual bear heads attached ON THE WALL. This is what it means to be in a fantasy world!!! Me, a heathen who grew up surrounded by pelts and antlers of my relatives kills on the wall: uhhhhhhhh

Colleague has been reading a bunch of romances set in small-town Canada and apparently one of the authors is American or writing for an American audience and she could tell through two things:

Do you need a good cry this morning

My back still hurts (I think I bruised my tailbone?!?? HOW. WHEN.) and packed my work stuff in a collapsible wagon this morning because I cannot lift anything. Sherlock is BIG MAD I am not at home today. Bitch me too!!!!!

Me: I'm pretty sleepy but bedtime isn't for an hour Sherlock, standing in the door to the living room, screaming: I KNOW IT IS BEDTIME, GET A WRIGGLE ON

I will say I understand WHY they made the audio choices they made in Project Hail Mary but it was bad enough that several people left to complain to management and then came back looking annoyed. 😬 (I also know why we don't get subs there but they would've helped make it clear re: why)

what I'm learning is that the best scifi is about asexual/aromantic weirdos because we won't be distracted by wanting to fuck

Losing my mind over this. I have a machine in my lap on which I can periodically toggle over from something else I'm doing on the machine to watch a SPACESHIP return from THE MOON. Earlier I could hear the SPACESHIP'S PEOPLE as they talked to other people LOCATED ON MY PLANET BUT VERY FAR FROM ME.

Splashdown! Vehicle is stable and upright. “A perfect bulls-eye splash for Integrity and its four astronauts!” #Artemis

Finally saw Project Hail Mary and I am OBSESSED

Me: okay so I need final numbers on the 10th if you want this on the 14th Them: no problem. Here are the final numbers. Me: (working) Me: here is a preview Them: actually our numbers have changed, please re-do it Me:

My players are using speak with dead and it’s going as poorly as you think