fix your [parking spots] or die

Fuck you, slate *Fuck you*

Woke up to my sole remaining cishet male friend, who is ostensibly progressive, sending me a manifesto of the most toxic misogyny and transphobia. Shit that was undoubtedly “well intentioned” but was so evil I got nauseous. Fucking tired, boss

not only did this song help pull me out of a serious depressive episode, it also shares a rhyming scheme with 1998’s intergalactic by the beastie boys, who undoubtedly influenced taylor with their seminal album hello nasty, in this essay I will…

So fucking glad I never got my MBA can you imagine making student loan payments and knowing this shit exists in the world and everything you learned was pointless

I am obsessed with @theabigailthorn.bsky.social so I watched the opening of HotD, & let me tell you that jumping into a show with its Season 3/(10?) premiere is wild “Lord Glorbo is sending his men to Middle Earth to fight the amassed armies of Ignobifir the Clown” is how every scene sounds to me

“I’m a gay trans millennial, you think I can afford a whole house of the dragon? If I’m lucky I can get a duplex of the dragon, but more than likely it’s gonna be a five-over-one of the dragon”

I spent five years at Accenture and allow me to just say “mega lol” No company I know of chases stock price and market trends harder and faster, and no company deserves to get fucked harder for it

This idiot can fuck off past the moon I can wear a minidress and make out with Sabrina Carpenter in the middle of pioneer square and not even get a second look in the US Meanwhile I can get arrested and served the death penalty in the UAE even if I’m just connecting at DXB

the fact that i'm at risk of seeing a twink's opinion at any point during my day is a human rights violation

I may come to regret this, but reply with your best Ari Talchik style post

White monster is fucking nasty, and the last thing trans girls need is a zero calorie version of anything

My latest essay is on the big grey radar planes and why they’re so fucking expensive to fly

If you’re not looking cunty; what’s the fucking point?

Key party is where we all bring an activation key to a different mid 2000’s real time strategy game

my home state is the Mitochondria of america I will not explain further

zen master says we’ll see

okay, look it’s either this or I’m making you watch the defunctland lines one again, your call

By far the worst part about insomnia is that I can’t even be productive Brain won’t allow me to write or work Just have to sit here in the dark dwelling on nonstop intrusive thoughts for hours

Vibe

trick question, neither my sister or I were the dog was always the favorite child, still is doesn't matter that she's on like her fourth GSD since then, still loves it way more than the two of us combined

>be me >be on HRT for years >get all legal documents changed to F >get dozens of sessions to remove any and all body hair >get multiple rounds of painful feminizing plastic surgery > still think “I'm not REALLY trans, I’m just a man on the inside and I’m fooling everyone”

when my friends get too drunk and pass out I put a blanket over them and make sure they have a water or Gatorade nearby but I’m also a trans women because I sucked at masculinity, so maybe I was doing it wrong

but now how will we kiss in the combination taco bell and pizza hut

Uhhh… fruit. Just like… pretty much all fruit.

still being into harry potter in 2026 is so fucking embarrassing

Is it carbon monoxide

explain your @ I'm 6'2, and inception made me trans

why are these fucking guys SO WEIRD just fucking constantly a bizarre little ball of anxious terror that sweats desperation

hitting the bong every time one of these strike pilots gets blue-on-blued by an ally gulf state and going “what if they just left him there, tho”

netanyahu, specifically, has been promising that Iran was six months from a bomb since I was in high school. I just turned forty last month.

"don't worry yall; I'll have a TikTok about the b-52 crash coming tonight" is not something I would say, nor how I would pay my rent, yet here we are.

Chat, is my cat eye, in fact, sharp enough to kill a man?

spending twenty million dollars to make something worse is like a core sample of 2026

what a wild fucking thing to say about a lowest-common-denominator four quadrant show that is so light on engagement that young millennials use it as a white noise machine to fall asleep to

Jeremy Clarkson used to describe the British government as a “nanny state” because of its attempts to regulate things like auto safety, emissions, and workers rights But like, “mandatory bedtime by law” is literally nanny state

Demanding that they report the weather as nice on his special day is the most death of Stalin shit I seen yet

Sapphic love is a wrecking ball to your brain. Falling in love with a woman, as a woman, will occupy your thoughts for your entire waking existence, it will remap your entire brain chemistry. Falling madly, psychotically in love with a woman.... 10/10 recommend

Finally, a proper fucking country

Typo and just….. Every single thing about this aside….. why do all these fucking dudes look exactly the same There’s seven different beard guys here that are utterly interchangeable, can THEY even tell each other apart

The Cal Anderson fountain is on which means summer has officially begun, I don't make the rules.

we made a lucy robot that pulls the ball away automatically and they STILL KEEP FALLING FOR IT

My newest fashion accessory is a 13 year-old blind dog who wants to be baby carried

This is awful on so many levels. Fuck Jared. "we only make choices and promotions based on merit and skill" is the exact same line used to deny jobs to everyone that wasn't a cishet white guy since they was putting big rocks on giles corey theres also an insidious second layer of sexism too (1/2)

I wrote an essay for MN about the fall of pan am, which is also about why you probably couldn’t have afforded to fly on the planes you’re nostalgic for, and also how they smelled like smoke

rich people are pulling the fire alarm of communism and live rounds at protest because like, workers asked for keurig in the break room to get stocked again

the milkshake duck is on the block chain

I have one of those from a cab in Hanoi, which finds durians more prohibited than open flames, guns, and reverse cowgirl

Last week I turned forty and looked as hot as I ever have