will pay look-alike to stand in for me at functions

it’s been a tough day, but i’m glad it’s already a tuesday. we need more 4-day work week

it’s weird when everyone around me is leaving left and right and moving on, yet i’m still here feeling that it’s not good enough but wondering if this is as good as it can get

she is so me fr

I’ll be honest, I could not get into Heated Rivalry, I’m just not interested in its plot. Now, if you guys have seen Gregg Araki's Now Apocalypse (2019) or Julio Torres's Fantasmas (2024), then we can be besties because those are the types of queer media that I cannot get enough of.

Terri Joe’s Tubi series already looks better than any Tyler Perry productions

i love when LLM censors itself mid-thought. like oop, nvm

let’s all go create shareholder value

“2016 was the last good summer” yeah it‘s like something happened in 2016 that completely shifted the vibe, can’t figure out what 🙄🫩

nothing changes if nothing changes

redmond does this thing where they would turn the right most lane (slow lane) into a paid toll lane, and i think it’s very predatory

i would like a “processing the most triggering breakup” while “sitting on airplane going through turbulence” combo 🫨😱👹

perhaps a crispy mcdonald coke zero would fix me rn

mentally i’m still in 2024

when you yell at me, this is who you’re yelling at

wanting to quit but also not wanting to quit until i get another job lined up but also also not having enough time to interview prep because of the current job

slept with my head turned 15° and is now suffering from neck pains

you know what’s enlarged? my heart (i need to exercise)

i wish more people post anti-meme on bsky

i’m such a good listener that i’ve actually finished listening to everything that anyone has to ever say to me, so now nobody is talking to me anymore

this has me asking: how are y’all applying lotion (and/or suncream) to your back? like, i use my hands, but i’m never sure i’ve covered my whole back

reminder that they kicked Melissa Barrera out for speaking up against a genocide and Jenna Ortega walked away because of this decision

local chipotle worker is no longer giving me a full scoop of protein even when i flirt with them 😭 entering my chopped and unc era i guess

quick, somebody tells me it’s gonna be okay

my doctor told me to stop adderall asap so i’m about to be even more annoying online

i think it’s time to bring back some sort of “there are more options on this menu, scroll to the them” indicator, because most of the time i didn’t even realize a menu is overflowing.

ykw, moving my new year’s resolution to after the lunar new year

lowkey wanna go back to my previous employer just to sign up for their private blind app’s feed because i forgot to do it the first time

i wonder what the people who sold all of their belongings to prepare for The Rapture™ back are doing rn

“you had pretty privileged until you open your mouth” 💀💀💀

saw avatar: fire and ash in imax 3d last night. and i don’t get the hype of avatar or imax.

already failing my new year’s resolution of establishing self care and house care weekly routines. all i wanna do after this work week is to lay on my couch and watch cartoons

it’s wild that a few of y’all passed advanced oomfology 480 with summa cum laude, while most failed intro to oomfology 101.

telling your coworkers to go read the official doc instead of re-prompting the AI

i can’t wait for this week to end

i kept falling for the “buy $50 or more of this category, we’ll send you a $5 gift card once your order’s shipped” loop

i long for a 3-person friend group

flop day

woke up today, checked my calendar, and immediately jumped into my EV to go get an abortion

you literally bring so much oomfholder value every day to the feed wdym

it’s so unfair that oysters can just make pearls naturally. all the human body can do is make tonsil stones

it’s now the first business day of 2026, unfortunately i’m certified chopped

the “it’s about to rain”/“it’s about to stop raining” prioritized notification from the weather app is useful anywhere except for seattle 🫠

this is tearing me up

first day back and i’m already behind deadlines 🫨

ugh, is facebook marketplace really that popular? i want to sell some of my old stuff but i don’t wanna open a facebook account just for that 😣

there’s something wrong with me and once i figure out what it is, it’ll be over for y’all

every time i open the Apps app (which is just Spotlight filtered by Applications), it re-indexes all the app icons again, same goes for the System Settings app’s sidebar icons. it’s super noticeable if i have a bunch of background tasks running. idc y’all rebuilt these with SwiftUI, just add a cache

sunday-ass saturday

yesterday was the only appropriate day to post “one more shower till new years” btw