happy holidays, or something.

Having no real online friends I routinely message with is terrible when I take the best ass pic of my career at 145 in the morning and have no one to send it to 💀💀💀

how can I be expected to stick myself out there and gain self confidence and maybe date more people when legit the first three people on tinder just now in Boston all had fucking MASTERS DEGREES AND HAD WORKOUT PICS FOR THEIR FIRST PHOTO like how do I ever possibly begin to compete with that lol

I’d be such a harlot if I had just a little more self confidence

im like half baked and half hard and VERY horny rn tbh

I was always really confused about the explosion of really random community notes on twitter posts until I found out that having a community note on a post makes it ineligible for monetization and then I just got even more depressed

also new profile pic heyyyy

If you’re wondering, I’m built like this 😈😈😈

Oh my god, YouTube premium is so worth it Was watching a video on YT when the creator did a sponsored post skit, and I went to nudge my controller to scrub to the end of the ad And YT Premium automatically “skipped you (me) to commonly skipped-to location” instead of me scrubbing through manually

Life’s too short to not fuck your friends That being said 👀👀👀

I feel like one of the violinists on the titanic, leaning against the railing smoking a cigarette while the boat is actively sinking lord I’m tired tonight

So I made an AD account on here for myself (and no, you can’t) And despite being two separate accounts shared on this device, going thru normal account setup for the new account appears to have semi-reset my algorithm on this account And I hate it lol. I gotta teach it so much

If you’re wondering how many 🍃hits🍃 it takes to take away the sting of some disappointing (but not altogether surprising) news, It’s three. Three hits. Ah. Ah. Ahhhhh. 🧛‍♂️

A firm haver of the opinion that I’d legitimately be halfway dangerous if I could actually focus my brainwaves and abilities But alas, god had to nerf me so he wouldn’t have to do paperwork

aw fuck that’s the sun I stayed up gooning too late 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Now im falling asleep And shes calling a cab While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag Now they're goin' to bed and my stomach is sick And it's all in my head but she’s touching his Chest now He takes off her dress now Let me go And I just cant look, it's killing me And taking control

damnit discord you fuckin tattletale

Honestly I always used to give gooning a lotta shit. Like. I never understood how someone could be that brainwashed and robotic and cartoonish That being said, having smoked and edged for like five hours last night with my slick cock in my hand…..I kinda get it now. lol

idk, is this something yall like

this song goes way too hard in my little corolla than it has any right to #dixondallas

My Friday just got so much better. Absolutely obsessed with this new wild side set from @xdress.bsky.social Get yours now and save 10% by using code ERIK

He refused to move. sighhhhh

I know it’s still copaganda and all but the Reno 911!: Miami movie (2007) is a fountain of cinematic masterpieceness and deserves all the awards

gotta do my animal crossing chores 🫣

tell me why I’m a pansexual pothead but there’s still dishes in the sink I’ve been avoiding 🫣

recovering from new tattoo + simultaneous sunburn by ordering w**d online and gooning to murrsuit stuff at one in the afternoon #staywinning

Relax and share some flower in the flowers with me?

Pure Hazel Park: Older man and woman drove by our house on a motorcycle (w/ no helmets or protection, natch) and the volume of their argument topped the noise of the motorcycle and the stereo they had playing

when your crush really likes the gift you got them because you paid attention to what they liked

In line for Friday the 13th flash tats lol

casually having muscle worship p0rn on in the background while I do my chores in animal crossing >>>

I’d much rather be back in bed with you. ‘mere. 😘

gassing your friends up is free. the smiles they’ll have from it is priceless. 💜

new pfp ✌️😘✌️

one of the best feelings ever (except for maybe getting your back blown out by a cutie pie with their hand around your neck as they unload into you and release your neck into a soft and tender kiss) ……or so I’ve heard

lonely and slightly tipsy tonight, so I’m throwing those profile likes on dating app profiles I wouldn’t have a chance in hell with ✌️

had a lazy morning ✌️

I need to chop my fingers off ASAP I came thiiiiiis close to revealing feelings to a situationship tonight I know what happened last time >:-(

Sunday afternoon. Windows open. Floaty. Lazily pumping.

new pfp this account is gonna get like 200% more horny real fast sry

trying something new to gain followers

imma give yall three guesses as to which thing I accidentally sent down into my lungs with more suction and force than a good vacuum salesman #rip #ripinpeace

VIAs (Very Important Alarms)

practicing my poses

reskeet this if you’re a very good boy

“Hard? Again? In front of an open window? Groundbreaking.”

good night, lansing

came out to the husband (and yall) today as pansexual? I guess? Idk. It makes the most sense for me. I’m more attracted to your personality and how good of a person you are than what’s in your pants, and recently I’ve found myself being attracted to people that aren’t cis male presenting. 🤷‍♂️

>husband bought a cute jock for himself today while out and about >it’s actually quite loose on him and the total wrong size, ya dingus >it actually fits me literally PERFECTLY and the pattern is rly cute >free jock for me 😈