Uli_Critter
@ulicritter.bsky.social
๐ค 294
๐ฅ 107
๐ 188
20 | bisexual | femboy | ๐ lil guy ๐ | MDNI๐ links:
https://linktr.ee/ulifemboi
pinned post!
BLOOD FOR THE WORM KING!!
about 1 year ago
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Currently Heightmoging my chud wife
3 months ago
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She Elaine on my George, while I Jerry her Cosmo
3 months ago
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i want Jessica Rabbit to vaporise my skeleton (not a joke)
4 months ago
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I wonder why they havent made a "Little Bill" reboot yet... I always liked that show!
5 months ago
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Email: "Did your recent Amazon delivery meet your expectations?" I ate the delivery driver. Dont fucking email me you're not a person, know your fucking place!
6 months ago
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I keep entering and exiting through the double doors at Saising Cane's. I do this often and frequently while eating the food that i brought from home.
6 months ago
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you people seem to enjoy this SLOP!!!
7 months ago
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i think Jessica rabbit and all bad bitches like her (Jessica Rabbit) should be allowed to kill anyone they (bad bitches) want.
7 months ago
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All artificial intelligence is hitler.
7 months ago
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every time i cum, someone on the planet dies.
9 months ago
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this is me btw
9 months ago
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Idiot rube: "If you're just a generally pleasant person to be around, people will like you!" Based incel chad: "Women are evil because I got rejected once in high school and never moved on from that for some reason."
10 months ago
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reposted by
Uli_Critter
KinoFabino ๐ต๐ธ
10 months ago
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i woke up screaming and then made this
10 months ago
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11 months ago
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The man in my walls keeps trying to suck my balls. But i won't let him. Cus they're MY balls, and I wanna suck them!!!
11 months ago
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woke simpsons
11 months ago
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Sex bees??? They sting you and make you hornby for man meat?????
11 months ago
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My stupid idiot bitch wife keeps turning into Mr. Birchum during sex, I HATE IT!! Never get married, kids.
11 months ago
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reposted by
Uli_Critter
Patton Oswalt
11 months ago
โEvery day in Los Angeles, one actor is told he looks like a rapist, and 99 others drive home for an hour and a half on the 10 Freeway, upset with themselves that they donโt look enough like a rapist.โ โ Bucky Sinister, GRUNT Issue 2 (e-zine)
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Free food glitch: Step 1. Go to Buffalo wild wings Step 2. Slam dick and balls on the counter Step 3. Say, "Give me food or I will shit my pants, HARD!" Step 4. U get free food! :D
11 months ago
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Yall ever walked up to a hot girl (broad) said, "Hey baby." Then pissed on the floor for 11 minutes straight while maintaining eye contact and saying nothing?
11 months ago
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"They're trying to steal my blood!!" I say, gesticulating wildly to assert dominance over the libtard cucks at the bar mitzvah.
12 months ago
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i want this on all of my clothing
12 months ago
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12 months ago
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FUCK!!!
add a skeleton here at some point
12 months ago
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The energy i bring to bluesky
add a skeleton here at some point
12 months ago
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>looking for a new creature >ask the pet store assistant if the creature is dubious or scrungly >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is dubious and what is scrungly >she laughs and says โitโs a good creature sirโ >take creature home >it smokes 12 cigarettes and dies
12 months ago
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*Jumps through ur window* "THE WORMS!!" *Sucks ur dick* *leaves*
12 months ago
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reposted by
Uli_Critter
CerberusXt
12 months ago
That's nice :'D
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U cannot and never will match my freak, it is impossible. Now let me sniff ur underwear while u breed me! >:(
12 months ago
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12 months ago
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How my gay neighbor looks at me after I fuck his toaster:
12 months ago
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i have an elder beast locked in my basement (it came with the house) it gives me nightmares about a floating head that speaks in riddles that always seem to be prophetic in a horribly ironic way. but it pays its share of the rent on time every month and has violent tentacle sex with me very often!
about 1 year ago
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Me in a boardroom meeting: "what if we made a show about dick cheny but hes a baby and we cal it 'lil dick'" Reed Hastings: "Wow! thats a great idea!" the wretched homunculus chained to the wall: "please father! let me die!"
about 1 year ago
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i want Jessica Rabbit to use my holes (respectfully)
about 1 year ago
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about 1 year ago
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Fuck
about 1 year ago
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๐๐Daddy!๐ฅฐ๐
about 1 year ago
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my friend just said he was thinking of buying a fleshlight... like... dude, im right here! ๐
about 1 year ago
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Macdonald wendy??? ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ
about 1 year ago
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NEW VIDEO OUT!! XD
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUgW...
loading . . .
Elation for The Wonderbox 6000 (Demo) (this is an ad)
YouTube video by Uli_Critter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUgWtQQRGIM
about 1 year ago
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i dont NEED a gay burger! im doing fine on my own thank you very much! ๐
about 1 year ago
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I'm about to fill my gay ass fruit husband with worms! (My cum)
about 1 year ago
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this gay nerd is filled with food (hit him with sticks like a pinata)
about 1 year ago
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I think we should bring back John McAfee
#FreeJohnMcAfee
about 1 year ago
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Back in college they used to call me the crow rapist... I have to disclose this information during interviews sometimes...
about 1 year ago
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The only broads I fuck are the ones who look exactly like Jeff Dunham. Because I want to dominate him... with my peenits...
about 1 year ago
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BLOOD FOR THE WORM KING!!
about 1 year ago
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gosh, if i had a nickle for every quarter i had i'd have $2.18
about 1 year ago
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