Currently Heightmoging my chud wife

She Elaine on my George, while I Jerry her Cosmo

i want Jessica Rabbit to vaporise my skeleton (not a joke)

I wonder why they havent made a "Little Bill" reboot yet... I always liked that show!

Email: "Did your recent Amazon delivery meet your expectations?" I ate the delivery driver. Dont fucking email me you're not a person, know your fucking place!

I keep entering and exiting through the double doors at Saising Cane's. I do this often and frequently while eating the food that i brought from home.

you people seem to enjoy this SLOP!!!

i think Jessica rabbit and all bad bitches like her (Jessica Rabbit) should be allowed to kill anyone they (bad bitches) want.

All artificial intelligence is hitler.

every time i cum, someone on the planet dies.

this is me btw

Idiot rube: "If you're just a generally pleasant person to be around, people will like you!" Based incel chad: "Women are evil because I got rejected once in high school and never moved on from that for some reason."

i woke up screaming and then made this

The man in my walls keeps trying to suck my balls. But i won't let him. Cus they're MY balls, and I wanna suck them!!!

woke simpsons

Sex bees??? They sting you and make you hornby for man meat?????

My stupid idiot bitch wife keeps turning into Mr. Birchum during sex, I HATE IT!! Never get married, kids.

“Every day in Los Angeles, one actor is told he looks like a rapist, and 99 others drive home for an hour and a half on the 10 Freeway, upset with themselves that they don’t look enough like a rapist.” — Bucky Sinister, GRUNT Issue 2 (e-zine)

Free food glitch: Step 1. Go to Buffalo wild wings Step 2. Slam dick and balls on the counter Step 3. Say, "Give me food or I will shit my pants, HARD!" Step 4. U get free food! :D

Yall ever walked up to a hot girl (broad) said, "Hey baby." Then pissed on the floor for 11 minutes straight while maintaining eye contact and saying nothing?

"They're trying to steal my blood!!" I say, gesticulating wildly to assert dominance over the libtard cucks at the bar mitzvah.

i want this on all of my clothing

FUCK!!!

The energy i bring to bluesky

>looking for a new creature >ask the pet store assistant if the creature is dubious or scrungly >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is dubious and what is scrungly >she laughs and says “it’s a good creature sir” >take creature home >it smokes 12 cigarettes and dies

*Jumps through ur window* "THE WORMS!!" *Sucks ur dick* *leaves*

That's nice :'D

U cannot and never will match my freak, it is impossible. Now let me sniff ur underwear while u breed me! >:(

How my gay neighbor looks at me after I fuck his toaster:

i have an elder beast locked in my basement (it came with the house) it gives me nightmares about a floating head that speaks in riddles that always seem to be prophetic in a horribly ironic way. but it pays its share of the rent on time every month and has violent tentacle sex with me very often!

Me in a boardroom meeting: "what if we made a show about dick cheny but hes a baby and we cal it 'lil dick'" Reed Hastings: "Wow! thats a great idea!" the wretched homunculus chained to the wall: "please father! let me die!"

i want Jessica Rabbit to use my holes (respectfully)

Fuck

💖😍Daddy!🥰💖

my friend just said he was thinking of buying a fleshlight... like... dude, im right here! 🙄

Macdonald wendy??? 😮😮😮

NEW VIDEO OUT!! XD www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUgW...

i dont NEED a gay burger! im doing fine on my own thank you very much! 🙄

I'm about to fill my gay ass fruit husband with worms! (My cum)

this gay nerd is filled with food (hit him with sticks like a pinata)

I think we should bring back John McAfee #FreeJohnMcAfee

Back in college they used to call me the crow rapist... I have to disclose this information during interviews sometimes...

The only broads I fuck are the ones who look exactly like Jeff Dunham. Because I want to dominate him... with my peenits...

BLOOD FOR THE WORM KING!!

gosh, if i had a nickle for every quarter i had i'd have $2.18