Calvinball is an understandable but ultimately wrong metaphor insofar as Calvin and Hobbes participated in Calvinball on equal terms

“It is axiomatic that X.” See, e.g., The Universal Moral Intuitions of All Right-Thinking People (and this quote from Judge Posner).

It is weird to cite a case that says a principle of law is axiomatic. Then why are you citing a case?

Westlaw: “I see you entered a carefully crafted, detailed search. Here is some random b***s***. If you would prefer we search for the stuff you were actually looking for, press this button.”

Brief is just a smidge over the page limit … by like 12 pages. A 12-page smidge. Think the judge will get mad if I submit it in 7 pt font? And, like, single spaced? Maybe hard copies on, like, really big paper? Or I’ll publish it as a blog post and then submit the whole thing as block quotes.

When I was little, my dad dropped me off at the barber & when he picked me up, the barber would say what a good boy I was & how I held very still. He stopped saying that when I got older & that bugged me. Like, dude, did I not hold still? Anyway, I’m still good at holding still. When I need to.

This is why I only ever submit pure human-made slop.

Middle kid is in a conservatory for uncannily gifted music nerds. There’s a fundraiser tonight of the hoity toity variety. Kids’ve been standing around waiting to play & are bored. Bass player instigates an impromptu string ensemble version of heart & soul. It was really something. They got shushed.

Some day, I’m going to write the syllabus for a “Grunge Law” seminar. Lots of good grunge cases. Pro tip: If you write a song called “elderly woman behind a counter in a small town,” before you put a picture of the eponymous elderly woman in the liner notes, you need to get her permission.

Lines that won’t make it into the final draft of the brief: “Like the legendary drumming of Led Zeppelin’s Jon Bonham, Plaintiffs’ selective quotation of section 5.1 B of the operating agreement is as remarkable for what it leaves out as for what it keeps in.”

“Sharp Acceleration in Slowdown” was right there.

Helene Wecker’s The Golem and the Jinni is one of my favorite books. It came out in 2013. Turns out it’s a trilogy & book 3 is out in September. Now I feel bad about my Helene R.R. Wecker joke. Anyway, the book and sequel are excellent. You have all summer to read them. Highly recommend.

Yes. I would say there is a definite “risk of foundering.” Indeed, the Foundering-O-Meter is approaching “Full Founder.”

10yo waterpolo league is, by contrast, riveting.

A wholesome story for nerds: On Saturday, I was signing books at a local bookstore for Independent Bookstore Day. The store had a signing-palooza with new authors every hour; toward the end of my hour, a woman came up and asked what my book was about. "Dictionaries," I said, and she lit up. 1/n

I don’t want to overburden the Internet with my own hot takes, but the sushi that you can buy at the grocery store and my land-locked desert state is … not very good.

Contra proferentem.

Reading a chancery case and noticed that one VC used brackets to change a hyphen to an em-dash when quoting a prior VC’s opinion. No other changes. Now that’s what I call ‘cleaned up.’

I just don’t think the Irish had anything to do with this one.

Song of the Western Meadowlark.

Area Pronghorn not reading your skeets.

“Davis Polk is proud to return to its long and storied tradition of appellate advocacy.” “Huh. Did John W. Davis argue any famous SCOTUS cases?” “…” “…” “Anyway, we’re super stoked to be back in the appeals game.”

Finches really curious to know what I’m up to. (I’m suing people finches. And yes, it’s fascinating.)

They got 95 problems but the Pope ain’t 1.

Another kid just scored a an unintentional header—what we refer to in the business as a Noggin-Vectored Bank Shot. Also counts.

I think my kid just scored a water polo … touchdown. Just sort of swam the ball in there. They counted it. Bring out the kicker.

Water polo goalie’s only weaknesses are acute hydrophobia and whatever the Greek word is for fear of water polo balls approaching one’s face at moderate to high speeds. Also can’t swim good. Otherwise has a solid toolkit (kindness, good attitude).

At the 10yo water polo match, was gonna start the “Your Goalie Wears Floaties” chant but (a) that’s mean and (b) our goalie also wears floaties. (He’s had some great stops too.)

The 600 percent discount is only slightly more than the five-finger-discount of, well, not my youth but of someone else’s troubled youth surely.

I am helping my kid prepare for a big Spanish test and I dreamt last night that I quit my lawyer job and became a Spanish Tutor to the StarsTM and was trying to teach John Malkovich Spanish. He … was struggling.

Okay, but can it bring up running a marathon in every conversation for the next couple of years like a human?

For example, you can write articles about them in the FT.

I think before you build an Arc de Triomphe you should be able to identify at least un (1) triomphe

You might think that my 10yo failed to catch and audibly identify every single Mario Easter egg in the Mario Galaxy movie but you would be mistaken.

There are many ways to gain admission to the Honourble Society of Lincoln’s Inn. For example….

Don’t think it’s fair to the current generation that I got Rage Against the Machine and they get Sabrina Carpenter and Harry Styles—super talented people to be sure, but not offering the ‘wake up’ ‘we gotta take the power back’ message the times call for.

I don’t care what you people say, accidentally teleporting to a Waffle House is real.

Morning hike in Zion National Park.

Hiking with 10yo today in Red Cliffs National Conservation Area and he says: “This place is like virtual reality. Except real. It’s like reality reality.” Truer words.

There was a Passover-themed haiku contest at the community seder. My entry, which received a solid round of applause: Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs Frogs frogs frogs frogs frogs

Apropos of nothing, I once worked 36 hours straight to prep a partner for a cross examination. Then sat in the gallery & fell asleep. I dreamt I was a karate master & my final test was to break a huge board with a mighty kick. I woke up to a loud crash. S/o had kicked a wooden bench, like, hard.

If the marshal can’t prevent the president from attending oral arguments, the Chief must resign.

The What-Birb-Is-Making-that-Noise app is such a game changer. Busy morning in the high desert too.

Okay, but is this a mistake or just awesome? Me: “Your Honor this is not black-letter law, it’s LACK-letter law!” Judge: “…” Me: “…” Me: “Cuz, like, they made it up.” Judge: “Yeah, I get it. Let’s keep things moving, shall we?”

If LLMs were really successfully imitating human authors they would use en-dashes with spaces not em-dashes. Then it would be essential to have a human in the loop cuz I would need someone to yell at. (Stop doing this. Unless you’re in England and the King makes you.)

One year into my Water Polo Dad life and I still have know idea what the whistles mean. Ref just whistling for own edification, I guess.

New employee handbook just dropped.