Lacy moving like prime Darth FDR

Everything in life is about sex. Except sex, which is about Covid.

Art needs to become more contemporary

I have a problem with the current rhetoric.

Don’t want to be controversial, but that Charlie Kirk shit that happened was crazy.

Is it possible to become certified in Seattle Washington or am I just like shot

When bro is from the bae area>>>>>>

Fuck all this explosion shit I’m done with loudness as a concept

Something abt BlueSky just makes me so f*cking meta☠️☠️☠️☠️

I keep thinking about summer as this weather stays so damn up… contemplating some beauty and some simmering classic heat elements… staying cool and hydrated though y’all, that’s a big thing this year. El Niño no joke. But yeah, let’s get after it this summer ‘26💪💪💪

Let the BlueSky likes roll in y’all I got rent to pay

Nah the way I’ve been such a fun little guy lately… I ☠️☠️

Water is the juice of ice

Just good as wet my pants at work

God made dogs balls too big

I can’t get enough of this damn app and my community🩵

Ufghhh I’m So not looking forward to the discourse surrounding the rapid weight fluctuations of Gay Brothers 2 co-writer co-director co-producer co-brother Aiden Houlette😒😒

Like yeah I got debts I got court dates I’m working through intimacy issues and anger problems but at the end of the day I’m a mothafuckin 90s kid so why you even tryin to hold a light up 2 me

If I joined the marines the world would say “we lost a very pure soul today”, they would say

I’m thinking of becoming a rich kid

Cocks on boner mode and bungholes should all be illegal

Two sentence horrer story: There had been one man in history to wake up to the scariest day in history. One man, that is, until today.

Total eclipse of the Heart✨🫧

I’m sorry about all the genitalia joke this month. I’ve just been stuck between a cock and a fart place!

GROGU shoves his Weiner in his vagina on the new Star Wars film

Do you think Paul McCartney was like Hey Whyd You Do That after John Lennon would do one of his stupid things he did

I gotta make less penis jokes and more vagina jokes next month

Homer a real eater and you can tell this from Marge’s tall blue hair always being happy and him always searching for replacement eatables in donut and burger form

Maturing is realizing that Homer is wonderful to Bart and Lisa for them

Close your eyes. Imagine Homer is in fact the older brother to Bart and Lisa. Still believe he is a detrimental family member to them?

So if theirs baby blue that means… blue… My man😂🤝

I’m gonna stop being ironic when Covid is over

Just got out of an early screening for The Mandolorian picture, and have to admit that I’m sufficiently whelmed. Grogu (yes, he has a name other than “baby Yoda”) is an obvious bright spot in an otherwise forgettable journey. And, still no Doomsday trailer. 😒

Scientists have just confirmed that poop is the most disgustingest smell in the world, affirming the prior suspicions of most.

Two truths and a lie aiden, ready, go: I have a penis I have a vagina And I lived on mars!🤣

2020 was peak coronavirus

@jonbois.bsky.social go watch what Jo Adell just did (to the Seattle Mariners)

Gas stations in space (for space cars) would surely be fixed to asteroids, given their remote nature. The only question remaining is their placement within galactic routes. Once we solve the galactic routes things will become clearer.

I have discovered a second music theory. It will be called my music hypothesis until further testing provides credence. Today is a top 3 day in sound history.

Bo Burnham is the Quintin Tarantino of COVID

Was Biden ever a good friend to Obama?

Oooof. Giving abuser Sean Penn an award in the big old 2026 is certainly a choice 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Taking the In Memorial segment as an opportunity to go to Taco Bell and jack off myOHHHH MY GOD ITS GROGU

I’m sooo going to hell for how many times I laughed at this year’s In Memorium #oscars 😂

Funny how a 7 person band with “Black country” in the name is entirely comprised of honkys.

My dad was Jay Baruchel’s like fifth closest friend in 2016

I’ve been trying to teach my little brother Balatro for the last month, and this week (grind though it has been :/) has been one of the more rewarding weeks of my little fucking life. Feels like the tech week of our brotherhood.

I was today years old when I learned the age you turn on your birthday is the age you just completed.

Has any y’all’s seen Heat (1995)? Um, was no one gonna tell me I was missing out on picture of the f*cking century?? On top of all the mancave badassery, there’s a lesson here. It touches a part of America we have lost. Cops and robbers used to be able to sit down for coffee. To talk. To listen.