If I was Frankenstein and my scientist father gave me a small ass dick I would would full on kill him

Groundskeeper Willie is fighting a war none of us will ever understand

These blackberries sour BUT DAMN they good! #fruitin

Still 11 months to go and I can already tell Nights by Frank Ocean is gonna be a whole ass vibe all 2k26. And nah, I don’t have depression (shout out the O.G. Prozac ;)), I just have a damn lot of empathy and understanding for that whole space. Gotta throw some sad boi shit on sometimes n jus Feel🖤

Tell me you’re a quirky dater without telling me you’re a quirky dater. I’ll go first; Past Lives is MANDATORY viewing on first link. No other way to start this thang, girl!

True Crime, you are wrong the world don’t rely on death Your ghosts haunt no house.

Iron Man is productivity, Thanos is my big cozy bed, and earth is me😂😂

just an unbelievable song

I feel a genuine and deep trauma in my bones when I see this face. Was forced to eat bowls of this while being raptured with thoughts of this man’s swamp ass. What a fucking awful snack name.

I wish we could invest in dreams, much akin to the stock market. Like the dream I had just last night, for instance, where I captained a boat along the Dead Sea unto her shore. That was a good one. Imagine if I could throw money at it, and see fiscal return upon the DREAMS return!

Sometimes I’ll think of something random, and just start laughing. Then, I’ll think of another something equally random, and form a connection between the two. That’s the when the real party gets going.

My brother who let out a fart with Lunchable top notes an hour ago is now threatening to rescind the job offer he extended to me regarding his New Type Of Restaurant because I coughed funny at his Hunter Biden impression

this is it. this was the last piece of the puzzle. i now have all i need to make a documentary that's so annoying and shitty that letterboxd turns off the ratings and reviews because they feel bad for me

The devil is sending me coded messages through old Cumtown clips and if I don’t Do It soon, my whole family will die My born-again-liberal situationship: yeah

Funnah Fayce🤣🤣😭😂😂

Does anyone know where to find the BlueSky equivalent of Gay Twitter? Oh wait - - it’s the whole damn app😂😂

That lunchables shit is made of #people

When watching AMC, it is obvious to me that Nicole Kidman doesn’t know the first thing about “heartbreak”. It could never feel good in a place like this. It could never feel good anywhere. It’s inescapable. Falling IN love or eating delicious FOOD feels good in a place like this!

Reading Carl Young be like: oh wow, yeah, that just ‘bout explains pretttttty much everything ever!

Congratu-goddamn-lations, Trump. You took out Pitchfork now, too. Music as we have known it is now caput.

Life is one giant game of House.

CAN HE JUST FUCK THE FUCK OFF NOW PLEASE. I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS DERANGED BULLSHIT

Hey, God? It’s Mr. Me on a Tuesday morning. I know we talked about your Great Big Comedy, and my overwhelming support and understanding of your vision, but I’m gonna need some Sparknotes on the humorous reason behind so often feeling like this before 8:10 am

This should call R2D2 Our Dude D2.

Working on a new type of comedy with close to zero curse words. I know it’s easy to think this sounds silly concidering it’s comedic nature, but this is incredibly serious to me

Yeah sex is great, but have you ever eaten poop? I guess

HOW WE FEELIN TODAY, SEAHAWKS bLUEsKY??!!!!

And I say this as a 4-life baseball fan with forty-some odd signed bobbleheads… …the heat on the MLB to tone down their polyphobic rhetoric is reaching a fever pitch that quite frankly they should be scared of. If things don’t get a lot nicer real quick, we aren’t afraid to pack up and leave.

One of these days I’m finally gonna think of that three-or-four sentence stretch that will fix all of this. Yeah, that’s it. I just need to distill my thoughts a bit more. Then I can finally begin my heckin life!

Find it incredibly “gay” how fleeting love is. Like, where r u goinggg!!🤣🤣 get back here you. You could be here now, oh my little friend named Love! But, it’s all a river.

Watches Eddington once. Good, but don’t get the hype. Wait two months. Marinate. Watch Eddington again. Cinema.

This is my one year anniversary of beating my biphobia everyone🥹

By the way chat, the sun isn’t real.

Whaat is Rami Malik?

Oh shit, this my first time posting 4 times in a row😅🥲

“ - Jon Stewart.

I been horny sixty times in my life.

I’m just farting out my butt rn😂

The real Gulf of America is the gap between the high aspirations that embody the founding of this country, and the thuggish gangsterism that this regime thinks makes us great again.

Oh shit, this my first time posting 4 times in a row😅🥲

We need a president who will use the f word against these guys. #ONLYWAY

If Jon Stewart’d died in 9/11, I imagine by proxy many of us would have killed ourselves without his magic to guide us through every aftershock we’ve felt the last 24.3 years.

Guy who never had his mouth closed when you looked at him in high school;: 2026 needs to be a year of details. We haven’t been about details in awhile.

If you’re planning to vote for Trump in 2028, I literally will have lost all of my respect for you. He’s unelectable, in MORE ways than one.

The moon will be turning blue tomorrow. I know why it is happening, but I’m not telling any of you because I am terribly depressed and blame every other person on earth for the way I feel. Also, I don’t want to stop this from happening because I like the color blue and wouldn’t mind this change

I know it’s a new year when I sit up and say, “hey, I haven’t had a birthday in awhile.” Then, I understand that it will be coming in about two months. This is scary although comforting, as it means that time is still concrete and reliable but as well that I am closer to dying.