Guidance counselor: "So what do you want do for a career?" Me, a smartass 14 year old: "Anything where I don't have to wear pants." *monkey's paw curls*

You know we could have just been talking about how great Sam Neill movies are the whole time. We didn't have to wait until now.

who up Hunting their Man

The biggest star in the most profitable movie of all time is Andy Richter

I picked a random extension on livelinks and wound up talking to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes. He confirmed that he's dead but can still suck the chrome off a bumper like that part in Ghostbusters they cut out of TV broadcasts.

I like that big Norwegian guy who looks like Goro

If it weren't for bluesky, I'd never know that Labyrinth was released on Mel Brooks' 60th birthday

Came home loaded. Perfect time to epoxy my kid's mega kinder surprise toys together so I don't have to keep fixing them for her when they inevitably explode every time she drips them.

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today. Movies take way more than a day to make.

People on here love to make these flippant jokes about certain public figures suddenly not being around anymore. Like, ok, all these problems they're causing would just stop. But have they ever stopped to consider that if that actually happened, we'd also never hear from or see these people again??

Look I'm not accusing lesbians of anything, but it feels like this flag is brand new and everyone's pretending it's not

Even he's just waiting for it to happen now

The strawberries are a net negative in strawberry-rhubarb pie.

At the very least this should help spread the insane true fact that Silver Side Up released ON 9/11

Me when I'm baking a cake

Sure, Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey looks epic... But this will always and forever be the definitive adaptation. #Scriptsky

The most I Saw the TV Glow-core show ever mede

My most toxic millennial trait is I think the John Goodman Flintstones movie deserved the art direction oscar

Straight up worst episode of the show

Why do people like anything?

muppetry of the penis

Ridiculous that they're making yet another movie about this child molester

In the 80s they made a Big Bird movie where he is abducted by racial segregationists and then, separately, becomes a victim of human(muppet?) trafficking AND IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING WE HAD EVER SEEN

I'm old enough to admit now that I just wanted to see A pee tape not necessarily THE pee tape

Daphne Zuniga still looks hot as fuck

Christ that guy is like a fungus

The idea of canon is the most beta shit I ever heard. Oh you need some big company to tell you which made up stories count and which don't?

This image is a foundational text of my childhood

Cloacular

I don't know who needs to hear this but Blade is British and Professor X isn't.

Shatner

Countdown until they find the real mark's emaciated husk, glued into the chair of his multimillion dollar goon cave

In the 80s we didn't need AI babes. We had Michelle Pfeiffer.

Pee-wee's Playhouse is still the only show brave enough to straight up have two intro sequences back to back.

Me, preparing for imminent WW3

Temporarily muting everyone I follow except the guy who posts different Star Trek ships he has drawn with the exact same caption: "Some of my Star Trek based art. Enjoy."

This website is incredible

we should put whoever makes broccoli rubber bands in charge of more stuff

I can't explain this further but Sigourney Weaver is big Karen Allen

Perhaps one of the most insane things someone could say on this app in particular

This is clearly a Norman Rockwell painting

Company Retreat would be much funnier if it wasn't trying so hard to be an actual episode of The Office

Language is fluid and making fun of younger people for their organic lexicon sucks, but I draw the line at people saying "Wild Wild West" when they earnestly mean "Wild West"

This kind of joke deserves nothing but public derision and scorn. I know because I constantly suppress these stupid observations. They cannot be welcomed into any kind of civilized life.

Social media should literally just be people reacting to watching TNG all the way through for the first time