My children have been asking about puberty. My daughter wanted to know what else happens to girls and I said their hips widen. She asked what that means. I said, “the bones that hold your legs onto your body get further away from each other so a baby can fit through. Kinda. Not really in my case…”

Just remembered the time my brothers and I were getting ready for school and my very tidy younger bro was pissing me off while we made breakfast so in a moment of lapsed impulse control I put the bowl of weet-bix, milk, and sugar upside down on his head. It makes me smile recalling his stunned face.

started frying some vegie sausages on the stove. went, ”I’ll go do a quick wee.” my bowel went, “but while we’re here…” and I came back to a smoke-filled kitchen and vegie sausages that are burnt on one side and raw on the other. probably still only the 25th most stressful poo since being a mum.

Fringe World 2026 People Pleasers Stand up comedy with me and some funny blokes- tickets live now! fringeworld.com.au/whats-on/peo...

I thought YESTERDAY was tomorrow and that I’d missed a deadline but it turns out TODAY is tomorrow and now I stayed up super late for no reason.

Michelle Wolf’s The Well was hilarious. I really, really enjoyed the last twenty minutes. “Who is this guy!?”

📌 #1 Added to playlist: "flowers laced with vitriol" by Harriet Hawthorne

🎵 AzureSky Harmonies 🦋 - Hourly Fresh Picks Thanks to our latest contributor(s), choosen from 4 incoming post(s): • @mollykerr.bsky.social • @brandonstoeckert.bsky.social • @8wiz.bsky.social 🔁 to spread the word and help us reach more music lovers!

Matt Storer’s little dance cracks me up: m.youtube.com/shorts/vkNdB...

@listigeplaylists.bsky.social thanks for adding open.spotify.com/track/4cG9Zb... to your community playlist radio thing! Get it out there!!!

Harriet Hawthorne is my stepdaughter and I’m ridiculously proud of he releasing her debut single Flowers Laced With Vitriol. open.spotify.com/track/4cG9Zb...

Ashley Gavin and Aves Robins killed in Perth tonight, if you wanted to know. That‘s killed as in made everyone laugh at a stand up comedy show.

So is there anything worse than finally being motivated to call businesses on the phone to book their services after weeks of it hanging over you and then you just get their voicemail and know they WILL call back when you are in your “Oh no answering the phone will lead to certain discomfort” phase?

It cannot be normal to semi-regularly accidentally inhale your own saliva and cause a coughing fit. I refuse to believe that humanity is united on being so close to drowning on our own normal volume of spit.

I’m watching Ghosts Australia and not only was it shot in WA, a bunch of the locations were literally shot around the corner from where I grew up as a teenager. Like… walking distance. And annoyingly it’s really good. I’m enjoying it even though I was determined to hate the sour grapes. God damn it!

Why is the line for soft serve ice cream trucks always longer than the time it takes to eat the ice cream.

Not saying that I’m unhappy, but god damned I’m fucking miserable.

This study is strong evidence that humour production is a learned trait which a) means anyone can learn to be funny and b) undermines the evolutionary determinist theories that claim men are funnier because of reproductive forces. www.cambridge.org/core/journal...

MC at Mad Cow Monday and 7 minutes at Hilton Hahas tonight!

It’s my birthday for another forty minutes and to be honest I did not have a happy birthday. But… I am really moved by the people that saw the Facebook reminder and posted on my timeline to wish me a happy birthday. I think it’s one of the few genuinely nice things about Facebook and social media.

I didn’t…bomb…exactly. It got better as the night went on… for sure.

Who has two thumbs, and is hosting at Mad Cow Monday tonight? THIS LADY!

After a Kookaz stand up comedy gig at RISQ in Joondalup, I come home to this message on my desk: “Dear Mummy, I need you to make these. Love Arty🩷” So of course I started immediately because I’m nothing, if not obedient.

Every Friday night is Stand Up Comedy at The Windmill Comedy Club! But THIS Friday night was also Halloween and that means fancy dress!

We have progressed from data collection to data analysis.

If you’re wondering how my October/November is going…

Who has a Fringe show and needs a new head shot in the next 24 hours? This idiot!

Last night around 9pm my kid licked the soles of their own feet to “cool them down.” Around 9:20pm my kid started complaining of nausea and writhing around in their bed in distress. Somehow… this was not the same kid.

sometimes when i decide i’m bored of having a cold or whatever i just start working & doing chores again, which i can get away with: i work from home. but it catches me out with peeps who be like, “wanna hang?“ and i’m like “absolutely” then have to text them back “wait! i have plague- i forgot!“

SD card failed and I’m feeling like the last scene in the Fight Club movie!

Adventure Time’s first episode is… woah!

i have a cold but my last fortnight was so shitty and busy that i’m not sure if it’s a bad cold or if i’m just burnt out. and then my period started today so i don’t know if it’s a bad cold or if i’m just menstruating. and i forgot to take my narcolepsy meds so i don’t know if it’s a bad cold or…

I usually struggle through comedy-writing books because the author always feels a, quite reasonable, pressure to be funny within the text. It’s sometimes “cringe”, as the kids day, but John Vorhaus seems to have my exact sense of humour because this is hilarious.

I’m trying to sew something and I’ve come up against a weird geometrical tessellation problem. So I have 3mx1.5m pieces of fabric. I want to make the shape below. However, I can’t do it unless I flip some pieces over. Which might mean just cutting them on alternating good/bad sides?

My stepdaughter put a load of washing on all by herself. I was so proud of her but it was 10pm and she had a flight at 9am so I asked her if she had a plan for drying all her clothes by morning. Her: “Oh, don‘t worry, it‘s only one t-shirt. I’ll just put it in the dryer.” Me: 😐

Elections aren’t every 4 years or every 2 years, they’re every year. In California we have a special election for prop 50 and it’s a YES. If Texas can gerrymander then we should be able to. I know my comments will be filled with bots, but I won’t be intimidated. Our democracy is vanishing❤️

In retrospect, I find it weird that as an 18 year old I saw no inconsistency in considering myself old enough to fuck my boyfriend and go out to clubs but still too little to do my own laundry and cook dinner for my family. I feel like adult self-sufficiency and cooperation should come before I do.

My ten year old son has already decided he doesn’t want to be a dad. He’s seen me being a parent and I make it look hard.

how do you teach your kids to help out around the house and not be entitled to endless screen time and being served at their whim when they’ve been raised overindulgently? Asking for a friend.

If people could stop getting drunk then telling me what a shitty person I am at birthday parties, that would be great. …Or maybe warn me that you plan to get drunk and then tell me off. That way I know not to relax or enjoy your company while you work up the courage to put me in my place?

I just sent this text message to my husband while fending off my daughter from the toilet seat. In case you were wondering what kind of a day I was having…

Hey share this even if you don’t think you know anyone in Perth. See how many degrees of separation we’ve got.

I wanted to go for a bike ride but my son just wanted to stay home so we compromised and stayed home.

If you think it’s bad watching a movie with someone that asks questions, then I hope you never have to read a novel to someone who asks question.

For real- Fuck the haters! She’s a god damned poet! 😍 “I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that’s on your knees And I like the way you still say please While you’re looking up at me You’re like my favourite damn disease” -Taylor Swift

Tilly Norwood is only a virgin for as long as it takes someone to write the prompt “Tilly Norwood with my cock in her mouth” into an AI image generator. Which has almost certainly happened. And she’s AI, so an AI dick in her mouth makes it a canon relationship. I didn’t make the rules.

I did jokes with a microphone to an audience and it was fine.

I store eggs in the order I bought them, oldest to the right (Excuse the over-the-top affluence of having two dozen eggs in my fridge at one time.) and I’ve accidentally enforced colour segregation.

Today was a blackcurrant pastilles for breakfast and coffee flavoured ice cream for lunch kind of day.