On the train home from the game like a dog with 2 dicks. Only Arsenal does that mate.

Today marks the anniversary of my grandad scoring a hatrick in a 3-2 win for the allies against the Germans in the WW1 ceasefire match. Afterwards gifts were exchanged and carols were sang although he did have to iron out one of their generals for saying he was offside the winner..

Christmas. Another fucking racket.

Hercules Poirot,Tintin,Stella Artois,Simon Le Bon,Chocolate..tonight you met The Arsenal..

So happy for Kieran Tierney.

Haloween. Another fucking racket.

Good old Bread Bin Head.

I know I’m a bit paranoid regarding data leaks but I can’t be the only bloke who’s worn a Groucho Marx disguise during an age verification selfie can I?

Darren England is one of the worst of a horrendous bunch of useless cunts. Every season we fail because we can’t beat the bad teams that just defend for their lives against us. Our results against the top sides are excellent but we need a flat track bully up front, and have done for fucking ages.

Trossard Alone Ole’ Ole’!

That Jason geezer that’s doing Edu’s job.

Christmas,the biggest fucking racket of the lot.

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the 1914 WW1 ceasefire match in which my Great Grandad scored a hatrick in a 3-2 win against the Germans. Presents were exchanged & carols were also sang. On Christmas morning he crept into their machine gun nest and strangled 4 of them. Business is business.

I remember in Stringfellows once after one of the strippers stabbed me with her glass stiletto and I was on my knees covered in claret when Gregg Wallace bowled over unzipping his flies saying ‘while you’re down there mate’.

Thanksgiving. Another fucking racket.

I’ve been hanging around MySpace for the last 2 months wondering where all you cunts had gone. I felt like Barry Gibb at a Bee Gees reunion.