That Monga thing is loose change. Can’t try to be too clever, you’ll miss out.

Great game.

That’s a tremendous finish, fair fucks to him.

Had more fun with gastroenteritis than that half of football.

Djed Weight

England may as well have just curled one out in the centre circle at kickoff, would probably stink it up less than this.

I see that someone left the doors wide open on the Djed Spence penitentiary.

Serious quality there from Mbappe.

Mannschafted.

Stutter step should be illegal.

Arsenal night on the world stage.

Gabi!

Sent Tomiyasu for sushi there.

Well, well. That’s put the cat among the pigeons. And by pigeons I mean; have you seen Casemiro trying to run?

Maresca takes the most poisoned of chalices.

It was a challenging wank, ngl.

TBF this game has been as dry as fuck.

Hydration break.

IYK, YK.

Where’s the Hincapiè arse out goal celebration?

Hydration break.

I dislike their goalkeeper because his old man once slapped Alan Smith. I’m a petty, grudge holding cunt.

John McGinn v Casemiro in what the locals are calling El Assico 🍑

I can remember the teacher frying an egg on the tarmac in the playground in the long hot summer of 1976, I can also remember having standpipes to go and collect water for a week or so. We never got so much as a sniff of a day off school though, and I’d never even heard of sunscreen.

65th ranked team in the world. Not a great point.

He’s had to put all of his Arsenal options on against this low block.

Anthony Gordon isn’t that player against a low block, is he?

Hydration break.

Argentina’s tactics are simple: Give the ball to Messi. If they are struggling to do this their plan B is: Kick the fuck out of the opposition to get the ball, then give the ball to Messi. There is no plan C.

‘Greatest ever’ misses the target from 12 yards. Does not compute.

Laughed at the twins, the only ones seated among the Scotland fans, at the front there. The wife quipped: “Maybe they’re tired, having walked 500 miles…” She’s sharp, that girl.

Hydration break.

Seems a bit odd having a Wrexham v Watford game, like this one, slap bang in the middle of a World Cup.

Trossard again, ole-ole…

Everyone is going to be gushing over Flower of Scotland again tonight, aren’t they? You should just elope to Gretna Green with it already.

Totteringham home game is slated for Saturday 1st May. My birthday is on the Bank Holiday Monday. That sums it all up.

Mexico beat South Korea, did Son cry? I do hope so.

Great, that’s triggered my Silvestre PTSD.

They took away my beloved away credits! Still, the fixtures are out tomorrow and we go, over and over and over, again.

Couldn’t stop laughing at this, if there are any other Phoenix Nights fans out there, neither will you.

Not sure that I’ve ever seen anything less engaging than Emma Hayes droning in monotone in front of a blackboard.

I wouldn’t write off England’s defending in this game just yet btw.

Modric is a Catweazle looking prick.

Pickford got a full T-Rex hand to that and still didn’t stop it.

That looked offside to me.

Killing football with set piece goals is it?

Stones’ defending there. Bought the farm.

Some absolute bangers in this game. Ooooff.

Mbappe looking like peak Andre-Pierre Gignac so far tonight.

BBC properly piss me off. Yes you can watch it in UHD, but you must watch it a minute behind the rest of the planet. Useles fucking cunts.