The urge to fix someone's pain is natural. But for the person suffering, being fixed can feel like being dismissed. What they often need instead: someone willing to sit still and bear witness. #caregiving #listen Holding Space Instead of Answers open.substack.com/pub/elizabet...

I used to think I needed someone else to validate my experiences. Then I started dining alone, traveling with my cane, choosing my own adventures. Turns out the person I was waiting for was me. ##grief#griefhttps://elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/the-art-of-going-solo

If you're struggling with someone who makes you question your reality, this one's for you. New blog post about radical acceptance and how I learned to protect my peace without losing myself in the process. #narcissist elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/radically-...

Think that four years after someone dies, you should be “over” them? That's not my experience, and I'm not going to pretend it should be. #Grief at four years out looks different but isn't easier. For anyone tired of timeline pressure around loss. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/missing-my...

I just took 10 days off and had to confront my own internalized #ableism. Society tells us disabled people are "lazy" and living easy lives on government money. Reality? Managing #disability is exhausting, invisible work. open.substack.com/pub/elizabet...

I got broken up with while I was in brain surgery rehab. It stings, but I'm learning that #radicalacceptance and #AndreaGibson's #radicaltenderness mean softening toward rather than away from someone who's caused you pain. We create #Closure. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/creating-c...

"I keep thinking I'm returning to my old life but I'm not. I have a new life now post-brain surgery." Sometimes grief hits when you least expect it—and that's okay. We're in the land of "ands": my current life is wonderful AND I miss my old life. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/grieving-m...

Coming home from rehab has been a masterclass in #radicalacceptance. Not just accepting my new reality, but accepting that my new reality impacts the reality of others. #BrainInjuryRecovery #IntentionalLiving elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/radical-ac...

My brain surgery is tomorrow and I am scared. As Buddhist teacher Josh Korda says, "what we resist persists." So instead of pushing away the fear, I'm holding space for it. substack.com/home/post/p-...

At 55, I never expected to need supervision for dog walks and showers. I promised I wouldn't put my daughter through what my father put me through. I swore I'd age gracefully—but I meant in TWENTY YEARS, not now! elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/understand...

The math sucks: My brain bleed doubled my sister's #dementia #caregiving load. I'm stuck with guilt, attached to an idealized version of me who never fails. Sometimes stepping back isn't failure but necessity, even when someone else pays the price. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/may-naviga...

My inoperable brain mass helps me understand that being at peace doesn’t = being tranquil & calm all the time. I was not tranquil at midnight in the ICU. But that mass—and the grief & fear—are part of my life now. Accepting that is peace. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/how-to-be-...

While I track deadlines in orderly time, my father w/ dementia lives where breakfast was "a week ago." Professional culture pretends caregiving happens in a parallel universe that doesn't affect our work. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/the-myth-o...

The essay that got me named a Best Emerging Writer of 2024 is live! Heads-up family/friends: it contains an explicit sex scene describing intimate aspects of my relationship with Tom after his stroke. I'm proud of the work, but I understand if this is TMI for you. mastersreview.com/driftwood-by...

This week’s post explores the impossibility of perfectly preserving someone's legacy & the bittersweet process of making a shared space mine. If you've lost someone & found yourself navigating the spaces they left behind, this one might resonate. 💛 elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/gardening-...

I recount a day that involved watching my father shine with joy and later frantically searching for him in the dark. For anyone #caregiving or with a loved one with #dementia, I share strategies to find connection with worry in the background. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/april-bein...

I blogged about deciding people matter more than a messy house. I texted family despite the dust bunnies & directed them to the yard. Nobody cared about the mess. Connection doesn't require perfection, just courage to let people see your real life. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/scruffy-ho...

The notes I find around my father’s house give me a glimpse into his dementia-fogged brain: starting with clear purpose ("oil service") before wandering into disconnected lists of cheeses and the mysterious single word "bowls." #Dementia #caregiving elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/how-dement...

"I had so many plans," my 87-year-old father said. As he faces the move to assisted living, I'm witnessing the quiet grief of acknowledging what will remain undone. We all carry unfinished lists. Which items on your overflowing list actually matter? elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/the-unfini...

Saturday. My father asks for the 4th time why I don't rent a vehicle—forgetting again my low vision. Minutes later, I'm in his bathroom, finding sanctuary. The fake bathroom break is an ancient survival strategy. #neurodiversity #grief #disability elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/march-in-p...

As I was saying in my last post: to understand how terrible things happen, look to the conditions that created and allowed for them to happen. When terrible things persist, look to the conditions that perpetuate them. If we don't understand the conditions, we will not be able to respond effectively.

When the dumpster fire of our current administration or the demands of #caregiving wipe me out, I whisper to myself: "I give myself permission to be completely present." elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/being-pres...

Repost & like, if you stand with President Zelensky!

"History will remember this day— when an American President and Vice President abandoned all we stand for."

My latest post explores the physical & emotional reality of caring for both my father & daughter while managing my own limitations. My late husband's joke about wanting "a kiss and a fresh diaper" turned out to be profound wisdom about caregiving. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/caregiving...

As I help my daughter recover from surgery, each blanket adjustment reminds me of caring for my husband before he died. I remind myself that the chaos of #caregiving isn't failure. It's proof of choosing what matters. #grief elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/the-chaos-...

When we're grieving, pleasure can feel like a betrayal of our loss. How dare we laugh or enjoy a beautiful sunset or a delicious meal when there's an empty chair at our table? But pleasure isn't an affront to #grief - it's often how we survive it. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/february-b...

I’ve been thinking about all the tiny #love letters we write every day. My latest post explores how reframing everyday actions as "love letters" has changed how I see #caregiving, family relationships, and even mundane interactions. open.substack.com/pub/elizabet...

I hope wherever you are in your #grief journey, you can hold these two truths: that what you've lost is irreplaceable, and that the path your grief carved out has led to unexpected treasures. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/walloped-b...

🏆 Governor Pritzker- Illinois - has signed an order prohibiting all J6 rioters from state employment.

The amazing @lisacooperellison.bsky.social mentioned a piece I wrote in her newsletter! Lisa helps writers write through trauma-informed practice. Her newsletter includes lots of great links (I especially loved Sarah Chauncey’s piece). lisacooperellison.substack.com/p/nine-ways-...

With Valentine's Day coming up, how about rethinking your will as your final love letter to those you hold dear? #end-of-life #death elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/six-things...

An unexpected bouquet of flowers got me thinking about how often I save "the good stuff" for special occasions. Read more: elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/what-are-w...

Anticipatory grief is a lonely journey, I think, because few people feel comfortable acknowledging it without being perceived as callous somehow. #caregiver #grief

I blogged about how naming my inoperable brain mass Buttercup is helping me choose peace over panic. #Buddhism #mortality #uncertainty #diagnosis open.substack.com/pub/elizabet...

My January newsletter is out! I'm diving deep into what really matters, from facing mortality to reimagining what we "do" with our lives. Plus a writing prompt that may challenge how you see your life. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/january-be... #Mortality #Reflection #LifeGoals

Real Talk: Write your damn will today. When my husband died, I learned that a will isn't about death—it's about love. Grief is hard enough without legal chaos. You can write one for free without a lawyer in 30 minutes. elizabethkleinfeld.com/2025/01/07/w... #EstatePlanning

Asking "Do you remember?" hurts people with dementia. Instead, share info gently: "Hi, I'm Elizabeth" or "Let me remind you how we know each other." New blog post on connecting with dignity: elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/12/31/d... #dementia #caregiving

Wishing peace to all. What makes Christmas special for many is having a day off to spend how we choose. Maybe the real gift would be a society where we had more control over our time, instead of work dictating when we connect with loved ones. #WorkLifeBalance #AntiCapitalism #ChristmasDay

Being alone for Christmas doesn't mean being lonely. This year, I'm with my dogs and feeling zero pressure to participate in "mandatory joy." Different doesn't have to mean worse. New blog post about finding your way through holiday grief elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/12/24/1... #grief #widowlife

Death doesn't need a silver lining. Dying people don't need forced optimism--they need our presence to witness their journey. 🧡 #hospice #grief #endoflife #healthcare elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/12/17/d...

In my latest: How Buddhist teacher Seung Sahn's "don't know mind" helped me transform uncertainty from terror to wisdom. Plus: taking down Tom's blueprints & becoming certified in therapeutic journaling. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/being-here... #Grief #Buddhism

What I learned about dignity from caring for my dying husband guides my hospice work. I wrote about honoring personhood until the very end—because dying people are still living people. #hospice #grief #caregiving #endoflife elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/12/10/h...

Holiday grief is both/and not either/or. I blogged about how the holiday season reminds me that joy + grief aren't opposites. Plus practical tips for supporting grieving loved ones during the holidays. #grief #holidays #widowhood elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/12/03/h...

A few days ago, I found my dead husband's laptop, which I had forgotten about. I blogged about my decision to not look at whatever is on it. elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/11/26/m...

Wondering how to piss off a dying person? Try calling them a "poor thing." Or, if you want to treat them with dignity, try something else. elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/11/19/i...

Newsletter #8: What if the fear of rejection is scarier than rejection itself? After watching Jia Jiang's amazing TedX talk, I had an aha moment: we often let the fear of rejection (that hasn't even happened yet!) keep us small. elizabethkleinfeld.substack.com/p/being-here...

I'm treating my heartbreak and grief over the election the way I've learned to treat other grief: turning towards it, showing up, setting boundaries, and connecting with others. elizabethkleinfeld.com/2024/11/12/e...