Why did you help Trump win the election? You did it under the guise of human rights… for Palestinians… Nobody with a brain helps a republican win “for humanity” reasons. All that you helped to accomplish was the incalculable suffering of Palestinians and US, & the devolution of American society.

Motherfuckers will be like "eat the rich" and then post the top hottest looks at the Met Gala and not see anything wrong with that dichotomy.

Same foul stench

Breaking down millennial AMAB boys seeing Michelle Pfiefer as Catwoman: 85%: "I want that." 14%: "I want to emulate that." 1%: "I want to be that."

It's not so much that I'm wishing ill on Rudy Giuliani so much as I'm wishing whatever landed him in the hospital well.

Harris/Clinton 28, make the slogan "What did we fuckin' tell you?"

Star Wars premiered Memorial Day 1977. As an Orthodox fan, my Star Wars Day is on Memorial Day weekend. Please respect my beliefs.

[hits blunt] Yo if I could fall into the sky do you think time would like...pass us by?

WHATS UP ELDER OAKS SENIOR CARE, IM DAVE PISS AND THESE ARE THE TOILET PUCKS, HAPPY FUCKIN' MOTHERS DAY (begins playing a shitty cover of Danzig's "Mother")

Every time that electoral rights are taken away, I see a swarm of people working to register Democratic voters. I don't see the same for Republicans. They don't think they need to do it...and that will bite them in the ass, hard.

This is what I mean when I say people need to look at big pictures. The GOP wasted a half a year in a year that they are predicted to take major electoral losses. That is a solid move.

Happy May Day, fellow peasants.

I kind of actually buy this one, though. MAGA cultists don't show up if the cult leader isn't on the ballot. That's why there's a limited shelf life on MAGA and it's starting to expire.

Finally had the balls to do something with my hair and yes, I did use a photo of David Lynch as a reference for my barber lol

I love the idea of some old Texan looking out his window and seeing Megan Thee Stallion pull up. He ain't ready for that lol

Teachers are on strike today and if I wasn't already a supporter after this smooth as hell work commute this morning, I am now

You gotta get through a lot of Ray Liotta laughing gifs before you find a different Goodfellas clip

Does smoking weed make you live longer? I DUNNO BUT LET'S FIND OUT TOGETHER

Worth pointing out that Jesus's big problem with the Pharisees (one of them) was that they made a big show about praying in public so people could see how devout they were. Sound familiar?

Remember in 2012 when Barack Obama wouldn't flat out say yes or no when asked about gay marriage until Joe Biden had an interview on ABC and was like "Well why the fuck not?" Anyway, the idea that Dems are moving right comes from the fact that most people who saying that were 7 years at the time.

Hulk and Thing's greatest moment.

Born to OD on cheap coke in a Long Island night club parking lot. Forced to enter state fuel data.

Haven't had a good asbestos and lead sandwich since 87

I'll pay twice as much for gas if it fucks Texans harder.

Oh, just like Iran is defeated but I'm still paying 4.30 for gas?

Every dog owner post: "My dog ate something but he puked it up and seems fine." Every cat owner post: "My cat ate slightly less than normal so I took him to the vet. 1,500 dollars later and it turns out he was mad that the food was 2 degrees cooler than it normally is."

Why not just go into a hospital and not give any ID then, Chaya? I mean, if that's what "the illegals do" fuckin' work smarter not harder. They're legally obligated to treat you, just fuckin' leave when they're done lmao

If you are ordering steak and lobster delivered from Outback Steakhouse (that's right, your big boi knows his bloomin' onions), you deserve to pay over a hundred bucks. And you KNOW those steaks were ordered well done, extra ketchup.

My biggest wish is that I'm wrong about everything. I still think Platner will be another Fetterman, a fake progressive who dumps his constituents as soon as stock options and OAN appearances come knocking. But I want to be wrong.

This is not to downplay the SCOTUS decision...but people didn't go through the shit they went through during the Civil Rights Era for us to just lie down and be like "Well I guess America is dead." Have some goddamn hope. In times like this, it's even more important, because what else do you have?

Me, a salesman: "So yeah, those are the options. What do you think, Mr. Leto?" Jared Leto: "These look good but...what if I wanted to break?" Me: "And laugh it all off on your face? Don't worry, we got you covered."

When all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails.

What would you do If your son was at home Beatin' off alone on the bathroom floor Cuz he's horny Buying model feet pics For just a little bit of money

Leftists: "Democrats should meet the left!" (Democrats start to meet the left) Leftist: "Parasite!" WHOOAA HEAR ME OUT DUDE IS IT POSSIBLE THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE RESULTS ON SHIT FIRAT INSTEAD OF "TRUST ME BRO IT WORKS IN ICELAND"

Maybe if conservatives were better parents their kids wouldn't immediately abandon the values they were raised with? Just a thought, MAGA. Stop being bad parents.

Honestly, much as I'd like to see Trump eat a dick, it shouldn't be a priority. It's a timewaster. There won't be the numbers to actually convict, even with a blue wave. And if by some miracle it DOES work out, you're just replacing Trump with Vance.

"We'll be discussing the fallout on the Draft Kings Arena post-game show, brought to you by Fan Duel!"

The longest lasting modern fascist regimes were in Spain and Portugal. Every other fascist regime lasted maybe 15 years. If that. And folks, if this were an ACTUAL fascist regime, half the shit you see out there would have been stomped out.

"We had to teach the dems a lesson about Israel"

If you have kids, get them into Terry Pratchett, not JK Rowling. Pratchett: More books Not twee bullshit Not written by a black-mold filled TERF JK Rowling: Less boks Twee bullshit Written by a TERF driven insane by black mold

This makes more sense than the staged narrative. Which, admittedly, I bought into. But I'm leaning more towards "They knew it was going to happen and intentionally allowed it"

Kash Patel nervously eyeing a bottle of Jack and refreshing his email for 48 hours

Dude should be considered gender neutral at this point. A straight white man has spoken, folks.

Recently began picking up some old classic comics. One of them was a Gerry Conway Spider-Man. Picked it up just a few days ago. Wild timing.

"lol beans on toast" "WELL AT LEAS OUR SKEEWELS ARE NOT LOIK THE COLL UFF DEUTY VIDEEYA GAYEMS."