me, waking up: nah, he wouldn’t message me again today. he went a full week without messaging before. *takes a look at the phone after 5 mins of contemplating* *sees his name on notifs* me: oh, fck.

what in the world is freakin’ happening the day i tell myself i’m letting go again, and you… do you ever know? whenever i let you go?

can i just let it go? this thread i’m holding onto is kinda making my fingers bleed already, and it’s starting to sting.

oh fck i miss you.

i’m speechless. dumbfounded. and crazily overthinking about what you posted. i don’t know.

it feels different now sharing about you to others. i feel comfortable sharing my feelings.

i miss you, still.

there must have been some kind of good luck yesterday

God knows. God knows when the time is right. It’s just a matter of patience. And my heart is well without guilt, without regret.

I have a lot of things to say, but I can’t articulate it well. My mind is a mess, and I’m thinking of finishing up work anyway. However, if I think about work for the rest of the day, chances are the steam of these simmering thoughts would just float away and dispel.

i actually forgot what this is about… and what i was supposed to talk to him about. idk how many times i’m really gonna let go 😆 if it comes, it comes~ i can’t let myself care too much anymore.

not today not next week not in the end of the month there will be a time when it will come together. there’ll be a time you’ll be able to say it. just be patient, bc you know it’s not gonna end too well for you.

the only way i can get out of being hyperfixated by another fictional character is to overanalyze their character and give them the angst of a lifetime get yourself ready matsukawa issei

i have this age gap arranged marriage fic idea in mind, but i'm not entirely sure if i can pull it off...

i really just read anything as long as it’s angsty~ but those types of stories can only be read if you’re of rational mind.

wondering if i should watch PoA on 17th~ it’s gonna be my first time if ever to watch the movie after falling in love with Remus 😭 i miss him.

what a very productive weekend. from attending a cse, to claiming the cbtl bag, to redeeming concert tickets, to brainstorming at least 3k words for HIA. i really hope that this energy will last me until the end of the month. or the end of the year.

the way i've been typing up almost 5k words just for an outline/scene brainstorming for this shiny new idea~

he doesn’t need me, not in the slightest. but if just wants to talk, then i’ll be here. no matter what. that’ll prolly be the last time i’m sending a message without a reply. if he doesn’t respond, I won’t be pushing it. it’s kinda like a goodbye too, i don’t know. it feels that way.

Suwabe Junichi rly became one of my fave ojii-sans. I’ve been in this with him for almost 2 years now~

every author when someone leaves kudos on their fic

my husband

crying session so good, i never want this fic to end 😭😭😭 cr: i will make you proud by wheredoesshego

okay kpop demon hunters is the best thing that happened in June

june really is something. it’s never failed—not even once in my adult life—to make me cry. be it an external factor, or just a change that overwhelms the heck out of me. june is never kind to me, and i just want it to end.

i can’t. there’s no one else on my mind but you. whenever they ask, it’s you. whenever they assume, it’s still you. but we’re not… we will never ever be.

i need to show up. i always say that i will, but circumstances make it difficult to.

my head hurts, I need to go for a walk

i think the universe wants me to tell you that I miss you

it’s never going to be… so still your heart.

y’all really can’t make me unlike the guy 😅

as someone who writes about sunsets as if she loves them, i realized i don’t see a lot of them

this is probably going to be my channel for anything about my feelings idk, i feel safer here. so… he responded after more than a week, i didn’t expect him to. i thought after liking that message, that’s it.

I don’t claim to love you, but maybe I do.

after all these things i’m feeling, he’ll probably ghost me again 😆 but like i said, i don’t mind if he responds to days, weeks, months later, i will still be there to respond to him. 😆

and he was only talking about what he loved about the rainstorms as seen from condo units. 😭😭😭😭

if there’s something i can try to match with you, it’s the overdramaticism 😆 yah don’t know how angst-filled yah girl is

maybe that’s the thing about growing up—you know how to respect boundaries rather than pushing to cross them.

when i’m all alone here, i’ll probably cry all day~ not because of homesickness, but it’s either because of fics or ToT stories 😭😭

was that a nightmare? i dreamt of rejection, of my feelings being invalidated, and of heartbreak. it's weird, because i knew i wasn't longing for anything, but it's from this same person i posted about for months, and it felt weird.

happy birthday 🙂

there’s just no way for my brain to have capacity to write a kksk fic heavily based on this ToT card story i just finished reading… but here i am making a braindump document for it lololol

getting back into a writing mood after weeks of vertigo, and i wrote 700 words in the past 3 days. i believe it's still a win.

i don’t care if you respond to me a week, or a month, a year or even five years later—this is just me telling you that i will show up for you.

i always get surprised whenever i read remione. maybe a bit of disbelief too. i can’t believe how good Remus’s character is. in every non-smut story I’ve read, he makes me sob so hard, and i love it. i love him so much.

i've been listening to plave for two weeks now, and i don't think i'm gonna stop. i'm never going back to the surface now.

well, having happy crushes isn’t that bad. thankfully, i always build a wall around myself when that happens. it would be so bad not to have boundaries. especially when they’re taken. 🥲

happy birthday, my love, remus john lupin 🌕