driving home with my wife in my miata tonight. and up ahead i see this 1960’s era red convertible, also top down. i pull up next to it and look over to wave and there’s a dude fully dressed up like santa claus driving it. he’s got a cigar in his mouth and when i wave he looks over and gives me a 🤙

learning so much about women’s fashion today

big shout out to my friends who have been sending me a nonstop stream of smutty Hornet illustrations over the past few days.

first time dressing as San since getting pink hair, but i think it kinda works for her

my daughter (age 9): hey mimi, i know how to get away with murder me: uhh… how’s that? my daughter: before you do it, take a really long bath so your fingers are all wrinkly and don’t leave any fingerprints

most people on a sunday morning: yawning, drinking coffee me: frantically searching for her one thong so that she can get her ass tattooed in front of tens of thousands of people at a local tattoo convention

need to find me a chore-boy

me: ooo, look at this sick body swapping medallion also me: immediately swaps bodies with her housecat

out: masturbating in: fucking an invisible ghost friend

went to a panel on menopause and perimenopause at con this year, and it is shockingly clear how much more that trans women know about women’s hormones than cis women. which is super fucked because cis women should absolutely have the same ability to do what they want with their own bodies.

normal people: doing stuff, making the world a better place me: making emotes

did i create a discord server with an automod rule that only allows mooing, with a single channel of #mooing? why yes, yes i did

the start of two new tattoos: a strawberry and a chocolate cow 🤎🩷

once mortal women, i have corrupted these queens with my nine Rings of Power and transformed into them into ringwraiths. i call them my nazgûrl.

my spouse's new chicken coop sign

did i just spend the last hour making a trans pride cow heart? okay yes, yes i did; but, in my defense: i wanted to

saw this sign last weekend send me upstate ma

Tim Berners-Lee (1993): I have the perfect idea, I'll call it the paragraph element. A beautiful piece of semantic markup. writers, fiction websites: lol, lmao even

i once dated this woman and she told me that she had spent some time thinking about that if you stripped her down to the core of her identity what would remain was “womanhood” and i was like damn you are c​is, i think if you did that to me it would be ice cream.

nobody during foreplay: literally nobody during foreplay: me: brb babe, i need to spray a little lithium grease on this wartenberg wheel

good grief is the target pride selection is bleak this year. no soul whatsoever, tags with lorem ipsum. the smiley faces in particular, a real throwback to simpler time of the AIDS crisis, no marriage equality, rampant homophobia and transphobia, bullying

When I was young, I watched a The Twilight Zone Episode called “Number 12 Looks Just Like You,” (S05E17) in which people were essentially forced into a machine that turned them a hot bimbo. And I think it was meant to be a cautionary tale, but boy wow did baby April did not get that message at all.

— me writing normally — “Hi,” said character one. “Hi to you too,” said character two. — me writing kinky shit — She grunted, thrusting herself against her bonds as blood trickled over the tips of her bared breasts.

ran out of story to write so now i’m just sending my wife stream of consciousness erotica. rip wife.

Chapter 24 of @tfemily.com's awesome Secret Guild of Body Swappers story is up. I got to guest write half of this chapter — the smutty half — so if gender hijinks and lesbian smutty smutty are your thing, check it out. :) tfemily.com/Emily/series... (or epub: tfemily.com/Emily/series...)

when i transitioned 20 years ago, i figured i was giving up on the chance to ever have kids. but here i am, years later, a mom to two wonderful kids (12 and 9), who i love more than anything. as time goes on i hope i'll get to see more trans folks getting to live their dream of being a mom or dad.

question that came up with an author friend of mine about female friend groups: women: do you say mild / gentle / well-meaning / cute (etc.) objectifying things amongst your female friends?

reading a sex scene that you wrote, to your wife, and having her get off on it 😵‍💫

me: babe can you do me a favor? can you just like… lay there on the bed? wife (fully clothed): oooookay me: crawls around on her, randomly rubbing back and forth, sitting up, scooting back wife: ummm, what's happening? me: okay, you're free to go, thanks. me: *goes back to writing sex scene*

today marks the day, exactly 20 years ago, that I started HRT. ngl, when i took that first pill all the way back then, i never thought i’d make it this far. but i am so happy i did.

supposing a pair of twin sisters — what's a good funny in-joke name they would come up with to describe their collective boobs? something more fun than "the girls" or "the ladies." the spice girls was my initial thought, but that's five and not four.

i have been strung up and vibrated by a professional dom in front of hundreds, been to sex clubs and at least a half-dozen orgies, and none of them come even close to the intensity of exhibitionism of having someone’s cursor next to yours while you write a sex scene in google docs.

well the good news from this post is that i’ve had a bunch of authors reach out to me and tell me they’ll be adding it as a scene in their stories. 😈

at least in my lesbian life, parallel self-pleasuring is super common, as is self-pleasuring while the other person watches and maybe does some light touching / kissing. but it shows up pretty rarely in lesbian fiction. what's your favorite story that features a scene like that?

them: oh you like to read books? what’s your favorite genre? me: uhh, umm… it’s the genre where the authors use frisson, inchoate, and half-lidded a lot them: you fucking pervert me: guilty

lost a bunch of tree canopy around my house over the last year, and so it gets hot as heck in my office. and now to add insult to injury, my spouse is saying my outfit isn’t work appropriate??

subby werewolf girlfriend who curls up at your feet on the end of the bed. 💛

is a furry who refuses to skip school called a “goodie four-shoes?” or a “goodie zero-shoes?”

@aurahack.bsky.social Oh hey did you ever post the F*ck My Future Self art anywhere? I wanted to show a friend one of my old tanks with it but it seems to have completely disappeared from the internet. 😅

watched a fun and campy movie last night called “Zerophilia,” about a guy who changes gender whenever he gets turned on. as a movie about coming to terms with your gender, it’s hard to believe it came out in 2005. heck it’s hard to imagine it even being released today. youtu.be/sIAmakg-FBg

“Did you know that cribellate spider silk isn’t actually sticky,” I explained to my girlfriend while hanging from the ceiling. She ignored me, humming away happily. “Rather, Van Der Waals forces ma—“ “Very informative dear,” she interrupted, stuffing a ball of her webbing into my mouth.

I once caused a big hullabaloo amongst Minnesota Supreme Court justices for rubbing it in their face in a local law journal that I was one of (if not the only) legal gay marriage in MN in 2005. Got married in dresses, then scooted off to get bottom surgery and update my gender shortly afterwards.

the big boob life be like, “ahh, i’m home. finally i can take off this dumb bra and put on a different, more comfortable dumb bra.”

a reformed mind control villainess goes into business as a therapist. to her surprise, she receives a steady stream of clients begging her to turn them into her sex slaves. but instead she uses her powers to help them work through their traumas and insecurities. (she fucks them too)

little thing i wrote about my hypnotic girlfriend

lmaoooooooo google docs

bored at work and coming up with random t-shirt designs

this line from the visual novel Butterly Soup (by @briannalei.bsky.social) is absolute perfection.

Goldilocks looked upon the punctuation before her. “How about the humble hyphen,” she considered, but no - it was too small. “How about this em dash, maybe it wo—,” but she stopped, as it was far too big. “Oh my,” she exclaimed, “this en dash – perfectly sized between the two – it's just right!“

author of a story i’m editing: hey april i wrote this chapter where two characters are role-playing a hypnosis sex scene. what do you think? me, drooling: lemme uhh… lemme just make some minor tweaks here and there 😈