I know I do this to keep some sense of personal control, but... ... Fuck me for not having more wine in the flat!

I've just managed to talk myself away from the 'order a takeaway ledge'. Can has trophy now?

Red wine on a Sunday afternoon is going to end fabulously, yes?

Apparently I need to prove that I'm not dressed on a Sunday morning 😜😜

A silk shirt. To dinner. This will end well, yes?

This fetching my own coffee malarkey needs fixing! #pa #scs #piercedcock

Whoops. I was aiming for reference rather than indicating anything else. Sorry.

Another morning of me being mediocre 😉

Time for me to go slip into something warm... And seeing as none of you are here, looks a bath will have to do.

My World Mental Health Day treatment.

Coffee? Coffee! You for coffee? #iykyk

Present Me is wondering if Future Me is going to be pissed off with Past Me for recognising I've run out of coffee and then not gone out to get more coffee beans for the morning. 🤔🤔

*takes deep breath* *screams until lungs hurt* I cannot stress just how much I detest professional services who do not communicate effectively, or at all, as part of their professional duties. Why are people so fucking bad at doing their fucking jobs!? *Has a little cry*

Get up you lazy fucker!

My younger sister has just posted to all and sundry about her TENTH wedding anniversary. Imma gonna go cuddle a pillow and figure out how I might stop alsatians eating my corpse when I die.

If someone could be a lamb and bring me more coffee... #scs #pa #princealbert

It's early. I'm hungry. If someone could come feed me and then cuddle me 🥹 👉👈

Fat Plant Friday: Fuck up edition.

A new level of unfocussed has revealed itself to me: instead of picking up and using a pest killer on my variegated macorrhiza I used weedkiller! Fuuuuuuuuck! 😫

GrowTropicals live plant sales are going to be the death of me, eventually, given that they've entirely killed off my plant-buying ban 😫😫

The weather is definitely weathering. Now to resist plonking my face in an ice cream!

I woke up at 0430. I wanted: - to be cuddled back to sleep What I got: - my brain truffle hunting for my past failures

This is what happens when it air dries and there's no product in it 😵‍💫

If someone could come cuddle, I would be very grateful

I suppose I best go make dinner and then figure out how I'm going to entertain myself this weekend

Oh, why not. #fcf #pa #pierced #princealbert

Today's plans cancelled, for a fifth time, by a friend. Feeling somewhat grumpy now. *Grump*

In the office on my own. What to do? 🤔

I'm on a self-imposed plant ban because at some point in the coming months I'll be moving home again (hopefully). Also me: buys an Anthurium Forgetii and gets a delivery notification for a Monstera Lechleri variagata and an Amydrium Humile whilst paying. Self-control? Who even is she?!

It might be a slooooow start to this hump day #hhd

Oh how I love waking from a nightmare and not having someone to ground me with cuddles. Guess I'm awake then

Finally my petition is approved! There’s a list of flags you can fly in England and Wales without planning permission, including the rainbow flag. Sign here (anyone in the UK) to try and get the progress flags added to the list. petition.parliament.uk/petitions/73...

I cursed this into being. Goddammit! anyone know how to repair rips in silk that are not on the seam? 😭

In the office?! I couldn't possibly...

A silk shirt? For work? This will end well!

I should probably get out of bed.

Oh shit! I'm not supposed to be buying more plants but the pretty people of the GrowTropicals live sale get me every time. Monstera lecleri variagata and amydrium humile on the way 🙈🙈

I WANT CAKE! This is an emergency

Maybe watching something that is in memorial of someone wasn't the best idea this evening. It certainly doesn't help any feelings of loneliness. 😔

I'd welcome some* cuddles about now. *A lot of

Imma gonna paint my nails and drink some wine whilst watching frivolous shows

I'm frigging hungry. Please hurry up with that doxypep prescription!

I suppose I should get out of bed and go exercise. Sigh.

If someone could arrange it so I can spend the day right here, I'd be most grateful.

I declare it red wine season.

Right, time to go have my regular checks. I wonder which flavour of sexual healthcare provider I'll get today: -Lovely and affable -Unresponsive -Doesn't know what PrEP is -Responds to sexual partners with "is that a relationship or a one night stand?"

I need some new lounge trousers. The kind that helps keep the chill away at home, whilst being comfy, and possibly a little bit slutty in the right circumstance/audience, that you can also accept postal deliveries in. Any suggestions? Mine all need to be relegated it seems

What was a little on-the-nose but likely won't have been thought about by the gammon, is that every single one of the flags was only halfway up the lamp post, therefore they were all half-mast, as if mourning the death of the country!

I have just driven home from a thing this evening and drove through an area of Plymouth where every single lamp post has a St George's Cross or a Union Jack hanging from it. About 3 miles of that crap. And vandalised traffic islands!

If anyone has any pointers on how to finger whistle (I was trying to wolf whistle) I think I might need some help 🤣