As a kid: "I don't want socks for Christmas!" As an adult: "Socks and underwear please."

Saw an old man wearing a MAGA hat a few days ago. He looked like a human Oscar the Grouch. Trash man...

Stop signs that send an electric shock if you run it. Shocktogon.

Reframing pedophilia to stay employed. You have to admire the grift.

Disturbing new trend happening in my mind. Kids dumping dogs on door steps and ringing the door bell. Call it "Ding Dong Bitch"...

"How was your day?" Great, now I feel like I worked a whole shift too, sans pay...

Megyn Kelly has a 15-year-old child living in her house. Perhaps, Child Protective Services is due to make a call.

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

Casual

Nog: "This American actor, Brock Peters, he looks an awful lot like Admiral Cartwright... AND Capt. Sisko's father... Which is bizarre, because this other hyumahn, Gabriel Bell, looks exactly like Captain Sisko..." Quark: "All Hyumahns look alike..."

Being overly critical isn't an opinion... Not everything requires an in depth critique. Yo' momma did some damage.

Me and my thoughts. My best friends...

"Well actually..." Actually, shut up. "You should do it this way..." I don't remember asking you a GOD DAMNED THING...

If you're gonna have a "forceful" personality with a lot of opinions... You should at least not be a baby about it, when you're challenged...

Release the Pedo Files

Jellyfish.🪼 #jellyfish #drawing #artsky #artistonbluesky #artwork #art

Made a custom ai opponent on Humankind, named him Basturius. Came out looking like Bernie Mac. America!...

Alternately, One Night in Holland...

Mwah hah hah! Things are crazy, left and reich!

Trump spraying al-Sharaa gives off Trading Places vibes...

Everything's a joke and we the people are the punchline.

Remember when QAnon was all about protecting the children? Pepperidge Farm remembers...

I've never watched a single episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. Not even the Ray J. After school special.

Baku: "Russia keeps writing cheques that its 'Special Military Operations' can't cash..."

You want to know why many Vets, including me, have a cold, empty feeling on Veterans Day? This is why. I didn't serve to have my country turn out like this. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

"Most transparent government!" Yeah, we always knew the government was fucking us, but these guys showed up with assless chaps and dildo nunchakus dripping with lube...

Mazda was set to return today. I feel like Herff Applewhite... Friday it is...

Congratulations to our Mayor-elect, @wilsonforseattle.bsky.social! #ThisIsOurCity #Seattle #SEAElex #SeattleElex #KCElex #WAElex

"I'm not just a client; I'm also the president!" - Trump on Epstein

The arthritis has migrated to my chest. I call it 'arthritits'...

I had to walk from Breezehome to Dragon's Reach over encumbered. I felt claustrophobic the whole time. I survived... Mucho enchantening and disenchantening.

Bought some discounted Halloween chocolate and a discounted 'fall blend' coffee pack. They rang up at their original prices. No sane person would consider buying them at those prices. Brookshire's quickly corrected this for me. Also, more pumpkin cakes. Still on sale for .89 cents. Fuck yeah!!!

The evidence that Trump is an incestuous pedophile is getting harder to ignore under those red caps and hate, huh?...

Kashing in on his perks again, I see.

In case you were wondering why the government was shut down:

What was your favourite part about that new sausage you just bought? The bone fragment. I always enjoy the possibility of emergency dental work.

🔥 @RepJoeNeguse: “Most of 🇺🇸 will find this REPUGNANT. These senators are guaranteeing themselves million-dollar paydays.” Bipartisan horror at @SenatorHagerty & @MarshaBlackburn’s greedy money grab snuck inside the funding bill— rewarding themselves for getting investigated.

Damned Caucistadors at it again...

This skeet is what I imagine it's like to be a ghost, desperately trying to communicate with the living, but the living just keep saying, "Did you feel a draft?"

I feel like WWE have written themselves into a corner with Lesnar. Partly because he’s booked as unstoppable so it’s not really credible to have him want the title and not win it. But mostly because he’s at the heart of the ongoing sex trafficking scandal plaguing the company & shouldn’t be on tv.

The front light bulb was dim and pulsating... "Electrical issues?..." I thought. Replaced it with a spare bulb, the glass... thing that fits around the bulb is too small for said bulb. It's also SUPER bright. Did the same to the back yard. ILLUMINATED!!! - Let there be blinding light.

Trying out this new dance I learned on Tik Tok. It's supposed to kill weeds and promote grass growth.

"Stop me if you've heard this one." - Rips ass

Oh my... - Too much egg nog, just enough lactose intolerance

"That's not very Christian of you!" - To the mosquitoes

My 'bor smokes pot like a 24 hour crematorium. Sometimes, in the vicinity of her kids.

Pacifisting....

Possum pockets. Like Hot Pockets, but less rabies.